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Open Letter to Everyone Who Remembers Me #452340
20/12/11 08:21 AM
20/12/11 08:21 AM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 5,124
Where time stands still
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Ubereil Offline OP
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Ubereil  Offline OP
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Where time stands still
Once upon a time there was a boy called Erik who bought a game called Divine Divinity. It was the summer of 2004 and the last year had, to say the least, been poor for Erik. Last August he'd changed school from elementary school to high school (...only, that's not what they're called in the Swedish school system, but nevermind that). Back in elementary school he'd had quite a few friends. However, after the final day they'd all suddenly stopped calling, and Erik couldn't figure out why. The summer had been spent in brooding loneliness, and once he started his new school he'd been so insecure he completely botched his introductions. Everyone else in his class (in Sweden you have one large class with whom you study all subjects) thought of him as a weirdo, and thus he'd also spent the entire school year in brooding loneliness, all the while wondering about why his old friends didn't want to hang out with him anymore and why his new class mates didn't really seem to want to either. The summer had up to that point been spent with nothing to do, and Erik was deeply insecure and unhappy.

Through Divine Divinity a completely new world would open itself though. Not thanks to the game itself. Sure, it was somewhat fun, and he'd been starving for fun the entire summer and thus it was definitely a change to the better. But it was when he started looking for help and tips online that he discovered the Divine Divinity forum, located at Larian.com (Larian was the company that created the game).

At first I (yes, I'm Erik) lurked the forum reluctantly, reading what others had already written. And I noticed that polite questions were met with polite and helpful answers. So eventually I dared to register, writing my first post on the 14:th of August 2004. And from that point on I wasn't alone anymore.

Because by joining Larian I joined a whole community full of wonderful people. Wonderful people who accepted me as I was, with my quirky, twitchy ways and horrible spelling. I eventually found my way to the Off Topic forum area, where I experienced all the things I couldn't experience offline. People discussed interests, main events, personal stuff and all else you'd expect people to talk about. People joked around with each other, and you could tell they greatly enjoyed each others company. And, lo and behold, once I joined in they joked around with me no different than any other. Overestimating what that meant to me is hard given how deeply I doubted I was indeed as good as everyone else.

Eventually I joined other forums that was almost as great as Larian used to be. One of them where The Chaos Cascade, run by ElliotKane. Quite a few members from Larian was there as well, along with other members from other forums. It had a similar atmosphere as Larian did, and it also had a chat room where you could direct chat with the other members. In that chat room I've had many great conversations, both of great entertainment value and of great value with understanding and finding myself.

Another were the Nerdfighers forum, with it's hectic tempo and chaotic design. This is the forum where I finally realized I wasn't inferior or bad. And where I fell in love for the first time. And where I had many huge debates. And where I found a load of friends who I got along really well with, and who I thought would be my friend for a long time.

Not long ago, however, I noticed something strange. One of those recent friends weren't my friend on Facebook anymore. Without saying anything she had disappeared from my life. And that got me thinking, and to my great dismay I realized that all the forums I mentioned above are all but dead. Before now I haven't visited Larian since early 2009 (that's almost three years ago), I haven't been to The Chaos Cascade in almost six months, and over the last three months the only reason I visit Nerdfighters anymore is habit (I close the window right after opening it every time). The activity in all three is nothing compared to what they used to be.

And to my even greater dismay I've come to realize that none of the people involved that made these places so great are part of my life anymore. You can count the conversations I've had with the Nerdfighter friends in the last six months on the fingers of your right hand. The facebook friend I mentioned only confirmed what I haven't wanted to face: you are all disappearing from my life, and it won't be long until you are all gone forever. Some of you already are. And I've realized that, besides some exceptions, it's probably for the better. It's time I move on.

But I don't want to move on without saying goodbye. I don't want you to all just fade out of my life. Not without knowing just how much you meant to me, just how much you helped me and just how grateful I am. My facebook friend got me thinking and, looking back, I realize I lived my youth online. Others remember the day they finished High School or when they had their first kiss. I remember calling Barta a transvestite, the huge quote thread (the topic name was A Smoke-Free Exeter, which will net you a memory shortage error if you try to enter it... biggrin ), accusing people left to right about poor spelling despite being the worst sinner myself (that you put up with me amazes me) and, not to forget, The Remains of the Day thread (a unique thread that says quite a bit about how close the Larian community were at the time. For those who don't know it it was pretty much a diary thread where we all talked about what had happened to us during the day and commented on everyone elses posts).

Most of all I remember the people. I remember your friendly, joking manner, your ability to have friendly discussions and your willingness to listen to others problems and give a helping hand. I remember your warmth and your support. Thanks to all of you I had a somewhat normal youth, despite all my difficulties during this period. I'm not sure I'd gotten through these past seven and a half years without you. I'm quite sure I wouldn't have gotten through these past years in as good shape as I am now. I still draw strength from the memories you've provided me with. It's been a pleasure and a privilege to have known you all and I can't express in words how grateful I am for all that you have given me over the years.

And now I believe it's time to wish you goodbye. Even though I might not be a part of your lives anymore you will all be part of mine, for I have a special place in my heart dedicated to you.

Play me a sad song 'cause that’s what I want to hear
I want you to make me cry
I want to remember the places that we left
Lost to the mists of time

I know that you’ll go soon
You’ll find out so take me with you, always
I know that you’ll go soon
You’ll find out so take me with you
Always...


Erik Westholm AKA Übereil


Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.

Ambrose Bierce
Re: Open Letter to Everyone Who Remembers Me [Re: Ubereil] #452344
20/12/11 10:27 AM
20/12/11 10:27 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 5,016
Melbourne, Australia
HandEFood Offline
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Hi Ube!

I know I've been one to fall off the face of the digital world. All the same, I'll always remember all of the friends I've made on Larian, CDV and Chaos Cascade. I'll still see you on Facebook, and while I mightn't have much to say, I'm always interested in your posts. The Internet and its people are transient and real life will always come first.

Thanks for being you, Ube. Even when you're down and cynical, you're always open and thoughful of others. I'm sure I'll see you around. smile

HEF

Re: Open Letter to Everyone Who Remembers Me [Re: HandEFood] #452345
20/12/11 11:31 AM
20/12/11 11:31 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
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London, England
Elliot_Kane Offline
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Ube Erik,

I would be lying if I said I haven't been a bit concerned at your sudden vanishing. But it seems that you are ready to spread your wings and fly, and that's the best reason I can think of for moving on.

I never truly understood your lack of confidence. The young man I regularly talked with had no reason at all to feel he was a less worthwhile person than any other.

You need - you deserve - an active life offline. I hope you find what you seek, and those things which you do not know to seek but that you need for your continued growth and development anyway.

May love and life both find you when and where you least expect, and may both delight you. At heart you have always been one of the best of us and I truly wish you a bright future.

I do, however, object to 'goodbye'. Chaos may be a little slower now it is older, but I suspect we may totter on for a while yet, and as long as there is a Chaos, you will always be welcome there. I suspect that the Larian forum will not be vanishing any time soon, either.

Say not 'goodbye', but rather 'see you around'. Because sometimes it can be good to revisit the past, even when the future is calling smile

Take care of yourself. Stay true to your heart. Be well.

EK


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Re: Open Letter to Everyone Who Remembers Me [Re: Elliot_Kane] #452396
22/12/11 12:14 PM
22/12/11 12:14 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
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Between Belgium and Rivellon ....
Joram Offline

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Between Belgium and Rivellon ....
Elliot Kane, what you've written down for Erik is wonderful, right from the bottom of your heart !

I can't find the words to say what I feel insight of me after reading this whole thread ...

@to Erik (Ube): I wish you at least 1 very good offline friendship for life ... !

All the best,
Joram, alias Michael.

hug


On 7th of february 2015 : I start a new adventure in the Divinity world of Original Sin,
it's a Fantastic Freaking Fabulous Funny ... it's my All Time Favorite One !
Re: Open Letter to Everyone Who Remembers Me [Re: Joram] #452404
22/12/11 07:48 PM
22/12/11 07:48 PM
Joined: Mar 2003
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London, England
Elliot_Kane Offline
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I have known Ube for a lot of years smile


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Re: Open Letter to Everyone Who Remembers Me [Re: Elliot_Kane] #452414
23/12/11 08:17 AM
23/12/11 08:17 AM
Joined: Oct 2003
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Macbeth Offline

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I remember him too. We had some great threads going back in the day. The caption contest one was always one of my favourites.

Is Galadriel still around on your forum Elliot?


I am in blood
Stepp'd in so far, that, should I wade no more,
Returning were as tedious as go o'er.
Re: Open Letter to Everyone Who Remembers Me [Re: Macbeth] #452421
23/12/11 12:38 PM
23/12/11 12:38 PM
Joined: Mar 2003
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London, England
Elliot_Kane Offline
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Off & on, Macbeth, yeah. Her latest description of how life is treating her. if you're curious.

She is pretty happy offline right now, leaving a lot less time for online. It's the right way round, though I miss her posting as much as she used to, of course smile

Always a bittersweet thing, for me, losing a boardie to real life! laugh


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Re: Open Letter to Everyone Who Remembers Me [Re: Elliot_Kane] #452482
26/12/11 01:35 PM
26/12/11 01:35 PM
Joined: Mar 2003
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Rogue Squadron
A
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Good luck wherever you are, Übereil ! smile






Besides, I'm withdrawing more and more, too.
I have withdrawn from so many forums now I only visit once in a few months nowadays ... I mostl do it for the good memories' sake ... wink


When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it.
--Dilbert cartoon

"Interplayďż˝.some zombiefied unlife thing going on there" - skavenhorde at RPGWatch
Re: Open Letter to Everyone Who Remembers Me [Re: Elliot_Kane] #452585
03/01/12 09:35 AM
03/01/12 09:35 AM
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Macbeth Offline

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Thanks Elliot!


I am in blood
Stepp'd in so far, that, should I wade no more,
Returning were as tedious as go o'er.
Re: Open Letter to Everyone Who Remembers Me [Re: Macbeth] #458893
03/11/12 02:19 PM
03/11/12 02:19 PM
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 8,265
Seattle
LewsTherinKinslayer13 Offline
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We had some damn good fun back in the day.



Re: Open Letter to Everyone Who Remembers Me [Re: LewsTherinKinslayer13] #459218
16/11/12 01:17 PM
16/11/12 01:17 PM
Joined: Aug 2003
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Omicron Persei 8
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Ah little one.

How things change. my young immature self has been replaced by my old immature self. Damn you flow of time!!!!


Not in the mood for cheese?
That excuse has more holes than a slice this fine Gorgombert!
Re: Open Letter to Everyone Who Remembers Me [Re: LewsTherinKinslayer13] #460017
23/12/12 07:09 PM
23/12/12 07:09 PM
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 3,396
At the top of the Eiffel Tower
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At the top of the Eiffel Tower
Originally Posted By: LewsTherinKinslayer13
We had some damn good fun back in the day.

Yep we had some good fun.
It's nice to have news from old good friends. claphands

I wish i have some news from janggut too. sad

Re: Open Letter to Everyone Who Remembers Me [Re: Barta] #466446
17/05/13 09:04 AM
17/05/13 09:04 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 4,671
dragon lair
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What a beautiful letter Erik. You will probably never read my late response, but please know that I wish you all the best in your life! smile


jvb, royal dragon prince Cheers!

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