Propheet's illfamous jokes, part 1
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/alien.gif" alt="" />----->NPC's in questions and answers:
Kistandalius:
Q:Ever wondered why he is wearing jesters hat?
A:And have you seen his prices?
El'Gammon:
Q:What is the last fake item to be bought from him?
A:It is his tongue. (trader's tongue)
Q:So why he still can talk?
A:As I said, it's just as fake, as the previous ones.
Corinna the Summoner:
Q:Why was Corinna unable to control the demon she summoned?
A:She didn't follow the Ragons advice to eat all of her straw hat. Oh, yeah, and she forgot to put a tomato at the tip of her head; as you can see in her avatar, she has put there a bunch of grapes instead.
Q:Ok, so I made it to get this branch, wine and the book. Is there anything else I can do, to summon a demon?
A:Yes; try the Archmages Ragons advice. Go to nearest grocery to buy tomatoes. Straw hat can be found in Departament Store. If you are to lazy to actually go there, try hex editing your position...:P
Merchant Blake:
Q:I read in a "Spoiler Quest Guide" that he is to be found in merchants area, but I still can't find him, so I can't solve the Nericon Garden quest...
A:It is the only guy that can't be pickpocketed. If you still have problems, even after you edited your save to get the maximum level of pickpocketing, try learning reading. To do this go to nearest nursery school. Again, if you are to lazy to move, try hex editing your position...
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/question.gif" alt="" />----> F.U.C.Q.(frequently unasked curiosal questions):
Q:I get the message screen that says: "Please put the divinity game cd in CD drive". What should I do?
A:
step 1: Remove coffee cup from the coffee cup tray.
step 2: put the mentioned cd FACE UP in the CD tray(if don't know where this is, refer to your coffee cup tray manufacturer for latest drivers and sugar/cream).
step 3: close the tray. Avoid using your leg, your sword or any of your guns to do so. This might cause losing your coffee tray's warranty.
Q:My game frequently crashes, and the game pace is !@#$#$% slow!!!
A:Buy a new computer.
A:If you are running Windows:
1)close all programs
2)in start menu choose "close system"
3)choose "restart in DOS mode"
4)type FORMAT C: and press [enter]
5)follow the instructions
6)press [ctrl]+[alt]+[delete]
7)install any Linux distribution.
8)forget about Divine Divinity, or use "Wine". This may make a slight improvement in game pace :P...
Q:What is the silliest death in the game?
A:Summon a 1st level skeleton("skeltington"), then use any of the statues to transform yourself.
Q:Why pressing alt+tab is malfunctioning?
A:You didn't install your pirated version of the game correctly;) if you did, then your computer should've blown up.
A:You forgot to switch your PC off. Pressing the keys THEN is perfectly OK.
A:This is not Diablo. IF you purchased this game as Diablo, contact your coffee cup tray manufacturer, as we told you 2 questions earlier.
Q:What is the latest patch to the game?
A:1.34; if you still discover a lot of bugs, :divinity: proposes all-new anti-bug engine, called "Did It Erself By Userz Gunz" (D.I.E. B.U.G.); to activate it see "Larian Armor Quest"
Q:What is...
A:Stop asking these silly questions!!! Ask Raze, Lynn, or anyone else...
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/sad.gif" alt="" />---->Known game BUGZ:
1) Infinite Loop
2) Not Activated
3) Out of Range
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />---->now, the "Bash the kitty" threads quote:
"Why would you want a second copy? [of divinity]" plowking
oh, that's easy. multiplayer.
via telepathic link that can be purchased from larian for those who buy more than one copy of DD.
(by Janggut)
Plowking:
I'd like to recite a poem if I may.....it's called:
Where have all the kitties gone!!
Ahem!!
Oh where have all the kitties gone,
I can't find any, in Rivellon.
My blade is stained with kittie blood,
I hurt a few more, than I should!
Tis not my fault, they attacked me thus,
I had little choice, but to crush the puss.
Now they're gone, to kitty heaven,
It's time to find, the council of 7!
Oh where have all the kitties gone,
There are no more, in Rivellon.
But hey, you know, it's not a total loss,
Least I showed them who's the boss!!
I thank you!! (bows)
(Plowkings original, CD-Kiyas forum version)
Ode to Kitties!!
Oh were have all the kitties gone,
there are no more, in Rivellon,
'Tis not my fault they attacked me thus,
I no choice, but to crush the puss!
With sharpened sword and shield of steel,
I turn the kitties into a meal,
They claw and scrape, meow and hiss,
They are not something I shall quickly miss!
Oh were have all the kitties gone,
there are no more, in Rivellon,
Oh well tis not a total loss,
Least I showed them who's the boss!!
(Plowkings recent update to a poem. A minute of silence as a tribute to DEAD kitties required. You may leave Your hats on, still...:P)
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />----> from the Spiders thread quote, about the size of spiders made in the game...:
Ya, it was more like rooms full of very agressive/poisonus <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/puppyeyes.gif" alt="" /> Mini Coopers! Sorry, all the spiders I have come into contact with were not soft and cuddly! Maybe they could be transformed into kittens? That would be nice
by MSlynx (BTW, nice nick; sort of geneboosted OS hybrid, is it not?)
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />----> from the "Small Laugh" thread, about the inventory...:
Although many games do put a limit on the amount of objects or the weight, it's still the most common thing to walk around with 3 swords, 2 shields, a bow with unlimited arrows, 50 flasks, 20 keys, scrolls, books, an entire bed ( ) etc... I've always wondered how Ms Croft and colleagues put those granade launchers, desert eagles, shotguns... in that small backpack
And then I didn't mention the medipacks yet, or how Blazkowicz (or whats-his-name)[agent Blaskowitz] in Wolfenstein 3D can instantly recover from gunshots by eating a bowl of dogmeat
by kejero
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PS.: Have any fine joke? Post it after...Let's have some fun, this game is INDEFINITELY worth it :P !!!
PPS.: Anybody have seen my doggie? signed: Timmie.:#
![[Linked Image]](http://propheet.w.interia.pl/strawhatprice.jpg)
now, about this hat. If anybody, and I mean: reallly!!!! anybody should find nice bonnet, fork, spoon(which, of course, there is no...), pot etc.. please - put screenie herein...!
![[Linked Image]](http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-3/106946/RVKFUTAIRXPOEVQGCQXV-bean.avatar3.jpg){kind=avatar}
- Summon a dreadful and powerful jester, who will cause the target die from laughter.