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"If I Were a Lich"
a haiku by Argyle:

If I were a Lich
I would not hide in a tomb
Waiting to be found

If I were a Lich, man.
Daidle deedle daidle
Daidle daidle deedle daidle dumb

All day long I'd biddy-biddy-bum
If I were a undead mage.

I wouldn't have to work hard,
Daidle deedle daidle
Daidle daidle deedle daidle dumb

If I were a biddy-biddy Lich,
Daidle deedle daidle daidle mage.

Those are absolutely dreadful. Awesome, keep it up!

If I were a lich
I would pursue magic arts
and grow my power

If I were a lich, long lived and powerful.
I would be the most friendliest of undead.
I would invite you to a magnificent dinner party
cause my phylactery, must be fed.

karaoke time!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56kZ5BYfO6E

If I were a lich
Even just for a day
I'd roll out of the coffin in the midnight
And throw on what I wanted and go
Drink blood with the vamps
And chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
And I'd never get confronted for it
'Cause they'd stick up for me

If I were a lich
I think I could understand
How it feels to have seven chain contingencies
I swear I'd cast two meteor swarms
in only one time stop
'Cause I know how it hurts
When I use finger of death in you
'Cause you entered my dark tomb
And everything you have got destroyed

If I were a lich
I would turn my tattoos of power
Tell everyone it's broken
So they'd think that I was sleepin' alone
I'd put myself absolute mantle
And abi-dalzim and wail of the banshee
into my spell sequenciator
Waitin' for them to come home
To come to my tomb

If I were a lich
Inside a Tavern
Behind a painting