What I read is that from his perspective, he has no more choice than you feel you have in other crpgs. He doesn't like the weirder, niche behaviour items being provided
Yup, but this is caused by his own filtering ... not the game itself.
The options are there for him, prepared and working ... his refusal to use them, is completely different topic.
and in his place he's sayins he's presented with...just using the same items for long stretches without even the chance to change to the +2 gear you're talking about.
Well, since dataminers have found some +2 models back in patch 2(or maybe even 1) i dare to say its safe to presume he will get that +2 gear "im talking about" ...
Also i though that word "later" will be enough to express that in those other games i was talking about, the better gear you obviously and logicaly get in futher parts of it ... wich itself should explain why he dont get any chance to change for +2 gear in EA for BG-3 since we are not yet so far in the game. -_-
(and it seems i was wrong)
So it's not actually a choice between the two styles, it's either use the items that present lots of variety, or be stuck with the same handful of items for the foreseeable future.
I just cant agree with this ...
If i offer you Coke, Sprite, Beer, Juice and Water ... and you say to me that you shall not drink anything that contains sugar ... yes, your only choice is Water ...
But NO! Definietly NO! Its simply not true, if you claim that you were offered no other choice than Water.
At best you were offered no other "acceptable choice", wich is based on your own prefferences, not the actual list of options. :-/
And i categorically refuse to see that as Larians fault. :-/
I think it's also worth bringing up that for all your talk of players being able to choose what they do and don't do, every game, no matter how open, has an intended playstyle envisioned by the developers, because they can't really make the game without that intended vision.
You mean like when they say something as ... i dunno:
"We want to give you as much freedom as we can, to provide you experience as close to actual DnD tabletop session as possible." ?

So if a lot of players are deviating from that intended vision not because they want to impose the challenge on themselves or because they don't mind missing out on one experience in exchange for another, but because the alternative is simply not fun for them, then they're gonna constantly be playing against the pressure of the intended vision.
Wich is exactly what they wanted ... so where is the problem?

Choices and consequences ... whole philosophies were build on that concept.

if the intended vision is for players to use these items and adjust their playstyle accordingly, then they'll be punished for not doing so by getting fewer items that they actually want to engage with.
Or those items can be simply created for player that allready play this way to simply amplify their effectivenes ...
And people who play any other way still have options to search for items that suits their own style.
Wich is by the way easily achieved by implementing a lot of different items.

I for example used the Wrath "set" on my Barbarian playthrough.
But i never used most of those items actualy.

Since head you get in Grymforge, where i get after everything else was allready done ... so i get head hear that gives you +1 (if i remember corectly) to damage, for single turn AFTER you have ben hit ... wich is exaclty something i try hard to avoid when fighting Grym.

From chest you get the same effect +1 to damage, if you are under 50% of hp ... but since no enemy was ever able to reduce my HP to half. :-/ But if i would harm my Barbarian BEFORE starting combat, im confident that it would be no problem to keep her alive ... but im roleplaying so that was out of question.

(By the way, both nice and immersive effects for Barbarian gear if you ask me, what should fuel Barbarians rage if not damage taken?

)
Then there are gloves that gives you 15 temporary Hit points after you end your rage ... wich was a little confusing to be honest, at first i thought i have to end that Rage willingly to gain this effect, but it showed that it was working every time Rage ended, so my little Barbarian rarely even loosed any of her "own" hitpoints, since 15 is quite a lot.

Here it was a little harder to find any conection between boosting HP, fnishing rage and gloves. O_o
But i guess some stuff about adrenaline and pain ignorance arguments could be used here ... even tho it would still look better in my opinion if you get smaller boost of Temporary hit points when you enter the rage, rather than leave it. :-/
(And i believe its stacking with other effects, like Armor of Agathys)
And finaly there are boots, that gives you Wrath (+1 to damage) if you use "Dash or simmilar action" ... first of all "simmilar actions" is horrible description ... but i never used them anyway, since i strictly kept my Actions for Recless Attacks.

So ...
One would say that my Berserker have 1/4 usefull items and all others were wasted.
And it would be right.
But now i play second Barbarian - Eagle Wildheart ...
And gues what i have found ...
They get Dash as Bonus Action while Raging ... so they can Dash to get Wrath and then Attack with that bonus damage ... so those boots were simply not ment for my previous Build.

I mean i still could have use Dash with action and then attack with Bonus Action to keep my Rage, bcs Frenzy ... but still.

Same as the Mace that was presented in PFH ...
That gives (if i remember corectly, some of those new items are still not on wiki) 1d6 Lightning damage, uppon landing.
Many people are upset about this thing, bcs they feel "forced to jump around like an idiot" to get this item working ... i say they should simply equip different weapon.

But Eagle Wildheart is using diving attack, and this item simply amplify its effects.

So basicaly yes ... you have three choices ...
Either adjust your gameplay style the way that is in synergy with your items.
Or other way around ... equip items that are in good synergy with your playstyle.
Or simply use something more generic as +1 that isnt tied to anything specific.
But its still your own choice.