I think fall damage that seems "too low" can be explained with the PC grabbing onto roots or similar to slow down the fall. In tabletop it's easier but would be cool if BG3 also had characters falling vertically rather than flying through the air in cartoony arcs. It would be much easier to suspend your disbelief if they didn't go so over the top with it. Even better if animations would reflect trying to slow down the fall.
Thats it:
If you think falling damage is too high, maybe its because damage is not calculated from vertical distance, but from the distance you fly through the air.
When using shove, it feels more like you are world champion in throwing people.
Is there a big difference between throwing and shoving enemies.
on a more serious note:
Yes, you should only shove 5ft or prone and when you shove them over an edge they should fall down straigt.
I think it is impossible to throw an unwilling person. The best thing you could do is a wrestling move to smash them on the ground or a nearby wall.
That would be more shove to prone than typical throwing.