"I'd really like to get into 5e but I don't think I have enough time to read through 1-4 first."
That got a hearty chuckle from me.
I learned on second edition, and those rules all seemed fine to me. I never understood what's supposed to be confusing about THAC0. Playing with my buddies on the playground in 5th grade, we didn't have any trouble with it. I honestly don't remember what we were playing in college in the late 90s, if it was 3e, or if we were using the 2e books everyone still had.
I first encountered 5e four or five years ago when introducing my kids to the game. My initial reaction was "wtf? no THAC0? Everything is so different, so weird!" But now that I've gotten over the "this is different!" shock, I have no problem with it. I'm trying to be old and wise and perspectivy about what I've heard about One D&D, which I've only heard about here, and only in the last couple of days. It sure hits those "simplifying for simplifying's sake" buttons, but I'm trying to step back emotionally and remind myself that as different as 2e and 5e are, it's still an enjoyable game, which is all that matters.
(Also related to your joke, once upon a time in maybe '95 or so, there was a movie about England's George III, and it was released as "The Madness of King George". At the time, my mom told she'd read or heard something that the original title was meant to be "The Madness of King George III", and the producers axed that out of fear people wouldn't buy a ticket on account of having missed I and II.)