No such thing. I am playing on tactician and I never use shove. You don't even need it. Also no illithid powers as I am playing good.
Not everything should be a race to high ground. Your game is too vertical. I want to win a fight because I built a good character and worked hard to make him stronger.
Again, it's helpful but not critical. There are very few encounters where you are not aware that combat is going to happen and so should be able to position ranged attackers appropriately.
It's really just as important to force your enemy to expose themselves by line of sighting them.
I don't want to win a fight because I made it to high ground, got a lucky dice roll, and pushed a guy off in to one of the 900 bottomless pits that are always around you no matter where you are in the world. This "save-or-die" mechanic that was prevalent in 3e has been largely removed from 5e because it's /NOT FUN/. I don't know why you put "save-or-die" back in in the form of deadly shoves.
Again, you don't need shove, so just don't use it.
2. Endless ambushes where the enemy outnumbers, out-flanks, and out-high-grounds you
The enemy's party is almost always larger than your party, particularly in the 2nd act, and the enemy almost always starts out in an advantageous tactical position. In short the challenge ratings in the "normal" difficulty setting are all too high.
You should collect data on how many times players have to restore their game from the beginning to the end of the campaign. I have no doubt the figure will astonish you.
What difficulty are you playing on? Try an easier difficulty if that is a problem.
Also I have only reloaded when I misclicked something. So far no wipes, had a close call at the start, but good now.
If I have to restore my game to win an encounter, the pen-and-paper analog of this that the DM killed his entire party. This obviously should not happen. The user should only ever have to restore on boss encounters, and they should only have to restore on these boss encounters a fraction of the time.
Here is the rub though - maybe you are having issues because you have not mastered all the systems involved in the game. The encounters are playing out the way they are commensurate with your current level of experience with the game according to the difficulty you selected. I am assuming you are going with tactician but who knows...
Restoring your game is cheating. It's looking ahead into the future and gaining foreknowledge that you can use in the present moment. I'd like to win encounters based on my wherewithal, not my capacity to restore my game. If you want the user to have to rely heavily on restoring the game, you should just add cheats to your game so that we can cheat more directly.
If that is your rule then you should apply it to yourself. However it's a computer game and misclicks happen. Where a DM you would have a chance to correct something if you misspoke - the only thing you can do with a game is restore.
3. Combat encounters that need dialog rolls to win
There were at least two (so far) combat encounters that were completely impossible without convincing the opponent's party to start killing itself (a premise which is itself ridiculous, incidentally). This is basically more save-or-die nonsense. If you fail your dialog rolls you face insurmountable odds (unless of course you are willing to make the rush to high ground and then save/restore/save/restore/save/restore so that every dice roll is favorable to you).
The Gnolls don't require that - like I said I am not using Illithid powers so I had to just beat The Flind down.
What other encounter did you mean?
Honestly if you are so dependent on EVERY dice roll then there is something seriously wrong with your strategy, or builds, or loadout, or buffs, or something. That's just crazy.
You shouldn't be rewarding xp for non-combat solutions, either: you don't become a better fighter by avoiding fights.
You win by overcoming challenges, which often involves evading, tricking, defeating or outsmarting more powerful enemies. This is an old standard in D&D going back to Gygax. I am actually shocked anyone would think this given the traditions of this game. Killing isn't required, but it obviously more profitable.
4. The enemy never makes a mistake
Unlike the player, the enemy always knows where tactical advantages are, the enemy always has ranged weapons, the enemy always has AOE attacks, the enemy always makes the best choices with his turn. This is one of the reasons the encounters are too difficult. You're always encountering perfectly prepared opponents who never make a bad decision and have perfect situational awareness. If you're going to make the enemy perfect in this way, you should reduce the challenge rating for the encounters to compensate.
None of this is accurate. Sometimes enemies act in surprisingly clever ways but if you understand your action economy, line of sight, enemy limitations and vulnerabilities then you can get the enemy to make all kind of mistakes. An aggressive enemy will follow you into dumb places.
Baldur's Gate 3 has got to be the least enjoyable combat I've ever experienced in any RPG, and I've been playing and developing RPGs for over 20 years.
Yeah, it's not for everyone. A game like this only comes along once in a lifetime. I am endlessly grateful that somebody built a game for the Nerds of the world, who enjoy complex systems.