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A MAN'S STORY



I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women
differ so much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars
thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and
women think with their heart. I have never figured out why the
sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it
hears the words "I do"

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well,
the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT???!!! What was
that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet
dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs
as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to
sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off work to spend
time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at
a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while
she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't
decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets
get a pair for each outfit. We went to the jewellery department where
she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was
so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a
shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked
for a tennis racquet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I
think this is all dear, lets go to the cashier." I could hardly
contain myself when I blurt out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled "WHAT??!!!" I then said "Really honey! I just want you to
HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my
financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping
needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going
to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not
for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly

I've seen this exact post before--in the joke thread I think it was.

never mind that, it's still funny. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />

Very pleased to read about a smart man.
It was really good

You can please some of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

I might post some more emails later.