Also what is up with the Harleep scene in general
This is because Larian have decided, in their fun-loving wisdom, that if you have a 'strong' body type, regardless of your genital situation or other identity flags, you will be treated in all intimate sequences as a biological male, full stop, absolutely, no exception.
Edit to add: It should be noted that Half-orc and Dragonborn are always counted as having the 'strong' body type, for this purpose.