Larian Studios Forums Baldur's Gate III Baldur's Gate III - Story & Character Discussion Discussion about a romantic line with Spawn Astarion + spoilers

When Act 3 begins, doubts arise about the romantic line with his character.
The doubts are as follows: on all resources and disputes, Astarion is recorded as a 100% non-monogamous romantic companion, and because of this, a very logical question arises - is it even canonical to build a closed relationship with him?
It seems like the game doesn’t contradict this and doesn’t interfere, but it doesn’t interfere with it in the same way as with the monogamous branch with the same Khalsin, and it can be easily built if you absolutely ignore all his dialogues about how monogamy is not for him and his zealous desire for Tav to give his love to everyone he wants. And if with Khalsin everything is clear, then with Spawn, on the contrary, absolutely nothing is clear, because he has no trace of such dialogues, but at the same time, according to his script, his behavior is the same as Khalsin’s - asking to participate in a brothel , regardless of whether you have a romance with him or not; and also a disrespect that comes out, if in this situation you refuse Khalsin when he also wants to join (and now it doesn’t matter that in the end it turned out to be a bad idea, the very fact of an enthusiastic desire to participate in this is there), and in fact, that’s all , what distinguishes him from Halsin is that all his poly-approving dialogues roll out only if the player himself provokes them. Here, of course, one could drag in that he is unhappy if you try to take off one twin solo, but at the same time the Ascendant has exactly the same dissatisfied reaction to this.
In the epilogue, when you play in co-op, regardless of whether there is a romantic Tav or not, he tells the non-romantic second Tav about hedonism in his castle, so everything is more or less clear here, unlike Spawn.
Also, don’t forget about the girl in the sewer, Astarion flirts with her even while in a relationship (I want to say that this is generally a rather strange event, as people say on other forums that for some this dialogue is played and for others it is deleted, just like me in any of the saves)

Based on these facts, I have the opinion that with Spawn we can build a monogamous branch in the same way as with Halsin, let’s say “closing our eyes and ears,” and our monogamy is built solely due to the lack of autonomy of the player’s companions and provoking such factor initiatives.
Therefore, I want to ask the players a question. What do you think, based on the character of Astarion and his worldview, will he be ready for a long-term monogamous relationship with a Tav without attracting new partners and will he be happy, because in my opinion this type of relationship can cast doubt on the concept of his freedom?
(P.S. It is important to add that I cannot agree that Asya’s approval for a poly relationship with Mibib is a lie or his lack of self-confidence simply because of the same Devnote, his casual dialogue, if this proposal arrives after a black mass, and heaps of situations when he is very determined to break up with the player if he is not convinced (including the dialogue of his reaction to betrayal with Mizora added to the files)

Astarion only needs one person in his life he can trust. He's monogamous. At least Astarion himself would feel much better in a monogamous relationship. Just because a threesome is allowed to do it with him doesn't mean it's in any way good for Astarion himself. The fact that he allows it to be done to himself and even gives some fake theatrical approval is simply because of his affection for Tav, because Tav is the only person who cared about him. Astarion himself certainly doesn't need any Halsin. It's such a "feature" of the game to satisfy the "user" of those who want to have "two guys at the same time".

Astarion has no enthusiastic desire to participate in the brothel, his nervous laughter, his theatrical gestures (hiding his feelings under a mask). He talks about running away if anything, as he once ran from the sun, he already wants to run away, he looks away. This is reminiscent of his behavior in the scene where Tav encourages him to bite Oblodra, there he also pretends and plays before biting, and then he vomits. These are the two situations where Astarion suppresses himself, again, only the brothel situation doesn't lead to a broken relationship. You correctly point out that poly-approving dialogs only occur if the player himself provokes them. Astarion doesn't want to lose Tav, he doesn't value himself enough, realize and protect his boundaries to say otherwise. Astarion is not polyamorous, but a polyamorous Tav can take advantage of Astarion's trauma and Astarion's attachment and push him into a polyamorous relationship. An Astarion without Ascension and an Ascended Astarion are the same person, and of course Astarion will have an unhappy reaction in both, simply because he doesn't like it.

I don't know about Astarion flirting with the girl in the sewers. I've watched different replicas of this scene and I don't see anything that looks like flirting. "Mommy, may I?" That playful line was referring to Tav, the rest of the lines don't look like flirting either. Astarion might have sex with Lae'zel at the party, but only if he's not in a relationship with Tav, and in a relationship he's not paying attention to anyone else.

Astarion would be much happier in a monogamous relationship, I'd say it's the only one he can be happy in. And the "threesome with Halsin" builds precisely because of the player provoking it, Astarion tolerating it because of his attachment to Tav, and the fact that he can't assert his boundaries because of his injury. This opportunity is built on exploiting his vulnerability.

It's actually an interesting question.
If we don't get into the discussion of "he's not confident, hiding under a mask, etc." since everyone has a different opinion on this, we can look at some points of the game:

1. Ast only agrees to a poly relationship with Halsin, no one else Tav will share with. In turn, Halsin after defeating the brain tells Tav "for now" the affair is over. Perhaps Halsin is not seen by Ast as something long term.
2. Ast says of relationship Tav with Halsin (by implication, can't remember verbatim) that he regards it as a natural need, like for him to bite someone, and he has no right to limit you from doing so. Also, Halsin always pops up before completing a personal quest while Ast and your character are...um...observing a "hunger strike".
3. His attitude is also interestingly discussed by Shadowheart if you find yourself in a love triangle between him and her. On the suggestion of sharing, she says that "you overestimate his ability to share. He may seem like a carefree hedonist, but he's actually fragile if you can give him the comfort he needs."
4. The scene with the drow can be considered that having completed his personal quest, he finally wants to experience something of his own volition. (Although it doesn't lead to anything good for him, it's his decision and If a player initiates a trip to a brothel). He doesn't ask for it himself. If we goes to the brothel before completing the quest, he will refuse to participate, and will say something along the lines of: "Elven prostitutes, again".
5. For Mizora, Spavn swears. AA kinda doesn't, but then again, who sees what. Some see his reaction as just another mask.
6. For Harlep, both don't seem to swear. He say: "What you're doing, he can't be trusted". But there wasn't even a reaction to it before either.
7. The girl in the sewer. Honestly, in all my playthroughs, I've never once seen him flirt with her. He makes jokes about her.
You can catch disapproval from him if you say she was lured by a vampire. But he doesn't flirt. So, for me, in my games, there was never any flirting with her and I can't judge on that.

He's flirting in Act 1 with Shadowheart. With Laezelle. With Will, reminisces, "about bathing young in a fountain" (whatever that means), but that's Act 1.

I may have forgotten something else, but that's all I remember from the game so far. In my opinion (just my opinion, I don't insist) he's more of a monogamous guy, with "possible" digressions. Like he said, "I just like to have fun, what's wrong with that?". He's not as adamant as Laezel, or Mintara. Anyway, these ladies explicitly say no. Long term? Well that's in everyone's head). In my head is more yes. But that's just my preference, I'm just not a poly supporter.

In the game, characters can take any shape and gender: dwarf, dragon, elf, tiefling, halfling, drow, gitianki and ...human, what is not diversity, if you know what I mean?))))))

Though I've encountered another opinion that those who support poly were unhappy that Ast didn't turn out as obvious as the same Halsin. But they categorize Ast as poly.

Not being comfortable with a threesome with sex workers doesn't have much to do with whether someone is polyamorous or not fyi. Especially when that person is uncomfortable even having sex with the person there dating. (spawn astarion is so relieved in *every* scene where you turn down sex with him).

Same with not wanting some people to be your metamour. Like I don't think he referred to it as a need like that in my playthrough when my Tav started a relationship with Halsin. He asked if it was just about him not having sex with me and was ok with it when I said it wasn't.

As always with this game it's quite nuanced on how you see certain things depending on the player.
I'm sitting around 20 Tav's with 95% of them partnered with Astarion mainly Spawn because patch 6 put me off ascended Astarion.(Tav's face)

There is at no point I think he's happy about sharing Tav.
He is always forcing the conversation if you have stage 2 with Gale/Karlach/Wyll/Laezel
"I hear you have chosen a new lover , is this the end for our late night trysts"
Now this to me is a jealousy thing a polyamorous lover frankly won't care too much and his performance here really makes me think he actually cares about the bond.

The replies if you choose against Astarion especially Karlach paraphrased " I heard you sent anothers heart spiralling Astarion I hope he's going to be ok but it's nice to know he actually has a heart"

The Halsin thing comes during a dry spell as someone above mentioned Astarion laughs kind of nervously in my opinion here and uses comedy in reply but as he doesn't want to lose Tav he will agree to it
"Its in someones nature" paraphrased
He will not share you with anyone else Mizora & Harleep have had new additions cementing Spawn is not poly he splits up with you if you bed Mizora.

I personally can not agree to poly stuff with Astarion from the get go [ fragile vampire lover] though I can flirt and tease everyone up till their cut off points and I personally will never force the drow siblings on him as I know his reaction is vacant and things are automatic for his character there.
it looks awkward with AA if you Halsin /AA are wandering around Baldurs Gate as AA stands and watches you and Halsin kiss think he has some random situational banter to trying to remember the video I've seen of such interaction.

So Monogamy is the way I go with him every time.