Larian Studios Forums General Chat Chat (Anything) Inner feelings... for those who are brave enough..

Ok,
before i even begin...
This is NOT about comenting on what someone has written, unless its
supportive... that saying that your mom had about "if you cant say
something good about someone, then dont say it at ALL"... STICK TO
IT....
This thread is about airing the things you want to say... whichever way
you want to.... but you feel that the people you need to say it to, is
either not listening, or not understanding.... This thread should not
be about pointing fingers... just about saying the things you have no
idea how to say to THEM......
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why oh why......
Why do you start thinking more clearly after 3 glasses of wine???? Why
do you regret some things and cherise the rest?
Why do you love somebody so badly, but get so badly hurt at your own
defenition of their love?
Shouldnt they define their own love?

Why do we want life to go according to our "devine" plan?
why do we add value to things that are meaningless to others?
why do we hurt so much over things that has no value to the the ones we
love? and will never have?
should life not develop its own values?

Why do we feel inferior to people who we are priceless to?
why do we act as if we are the puppets, when in real life we are part
of the masters class?
why do we torture ourselves with rose-petals?
Shouldnt we rather just live in the sunshine?

why can we not live in the sunshine?
why do we have to track the clouds?
why do we fear the red and orange sunset, when its still morning?
shouldnt we just embrace the silver and marble sunrise?

why?, why do we never speak our minds? why do we wait until all falls
apart?
why do we supress our true self?
shouldnt we relic in a democratic world?

Why, oh why can we not cope with reality?
why do we have to seem so pathetic?
why do we wait for life to start?
when we should realise that life is not a destination, but a journey.
Why can we not just accept the love in our life?

why do we have to question?
why do we have to wonder about the motives?
why can the ones we want to be loved by, not say the things we need?
Why do we need those things in our weakness?
why do we feel so vulnerable without the reasurance?
why do we not realise our inner strength?
shouldnt we just close our eyes, ears and mind, and accept the life and
love that is forever ours......
-----------------------------------
And the first person to coment about my moment of weakness, will be
hated forever....

A wonderful, beautiful text, Lady Rain. It talks to me like you have read my very soul, things that are deeply going on inside of me just these weeks ...

*hugs*

Alrik

I feel for you Alrik <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

But i think the inner message of that poem (if you can call it that) is that we should just learn to trust and not to question.....

hmmmm so much for following my own advice <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> I am the last person to trust and the first to question....

but hang in there Alrik <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/stupid.gif" alt="" />

I think I'll write you a PM explaining a bit. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I'm actually surprised (yes ! really !) how well you hit the exact essence of what's going on in my mind these days ... what you've written is like a sign to me. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

So trust your inner feelings. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

i must say , that text it doesn't give me that emotional feeling like it should be,
there are about 2 lines i have a "connection" with.

but then again everybody is different.

at first i thought i was tricked into poetry.....but they was just questions

I see you hit the correct keys this time lady. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

hang tough, lady rain. & i love the threads u make (all are very special & personal).

will write some of my thoughts here too when i find the time.

Thanks Jaggnut

Lol and i am not depressed or anything... those were moments of deep inner contemplation <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> After a couple of glasses of wine i was just wondering WHY OH WHY people feel so insecure about things that are sure and forever... (had my own insecure moments there, but at least enough common sense to know the truth)

@ Spick....

NOT speaking to you !!!!!! You didnt wanna chat to me on MSN!!!! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/silly.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/silly.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/silly.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/silly.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/silly.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/silly.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/silly.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/silly.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/silly.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/silly.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/silly.gif" alt="" /> how COULD you do that to someone who felt so vulnerable <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" />

WIne........ hmmmmmm contemplation medicine.... and yea... wine also screws up ANY perfectly functional keyboard <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

Not only wine ... grape juice also does the trick ... I've done it ... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/silly.gif" alt="" />

Alrik ( typing on a new keyboard since more 3/4 year <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> )

@ Al & lady Rain -> since u two spill your drinks a lot on the keyboard, u should consider IV tubes to have your grape juice & wine. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />

*********************

back on topic ....

can i not talk & not be perceived as shy? can i be alone without being perceived as lonely? can i just flash my smile as usual & no being perceived as easy & stupid? can i choose not to choose & not being perceived as a fence sitter? can i choose my way of life & not being perceived as one who lacks ambition & drive?

can i please live as how i am, being who i am, thinking as i am?

more than enough sins to bear in life, i cannot bear more
more than enough thoughts in life, i cannot spare more
more than enough discrimination in life, i cannot tolerate more
more than enough selfishness in life, either let it go or u go

how i wish to be able to live with only myself in the mountains away from all humans. to dictate my own life, living, principle, thought, ideas, methods, emotion, state ...

to live without shackle called society.

..... but i'll live with animals.

Doh! I just had to go somewhere else Lady, Sh1t happens <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/silly.gif" alt="" /> spick

and for the record i want refering to not being able to type after the wine <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

but yea... i lost a very very nice natural keyboard to a glass of sherry <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/disagree.gif" alt="" />

the bad part of that, was that we cant find those in South Africa again..... and i am not going to import it at this moment.... a TAD tight for money <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

jaggnut:

I Understand exactly how you feel..... people always have to press you to life THEIR ambitions, they never allow us to just BE....

Even worse it is when WE don't allow ourself just to BE ...

(That is exactly the point where I'm working now.)

Hey guys, I just saw that the Larian people added a new smilie to the board, so why not expressing my feelings with that one to all of you?
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug.gif" alt="" />

By the way, it turns out that this smilie is made by Alrik, so hooray!!! for Alrik!! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/bday_jump.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/bday_jump.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/bday_jump.gif" alt="" />

Which one is mine?

@ Nero

Yours?? How can I send you one if you only want to shoot me? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />
Well, ok, you can have one too <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug.gif" alt="" /> , happy now? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/kissyou.gif" alt="" />

@ Lady Rain -> u're right. thanks for your understanding. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/kissyou.gif" alt="" />

@ Al -> man, wisdom comes out of your mouth every time u speak! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> & thanks for the new smilie. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug.gif" alt="" />

Well, thanks to a very good help, things are working *very* intensively at this time inside of me ... expect more words of wisdom ! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

I am glad that everyone feels sort of the same.... i was starting to get scared that i will be alone in this <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

But with all my friends around me here, <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/hug.gif" alt="" /> i feel like i belong here even more than before.

now i am just wondering.... how the @#)$(*)#@($)@#%&$(&%^)(#$)#@!*$@ do you cope with french people at work???? (not aimed against french people in general.... just ONE... the one that works with me)

lol she is a french girl from belgium.... (hmmm coincidence????) but she is a WEIRD one.... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/party.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/party.gif" alt="" />

aww well, let me NOT ask anymore questions.... let me just accept things for what they are and rest with that.... i cant change the world in anycase.... i tried... its round, it will stay round, and no matter how badly i want it flat.... i dont have a big enough vicegrip <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" /> (YET)