Larian Studios Forums General Chat Request for honesty and openness

Private Message excerpt (PM) sent to me on 21st of June 2003:



Control freak? Yes, I am one <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> - no problem with this quotation
I'm not that nice? Probably, I don't like sweet talk - sincerity, trustworthiness and genuineness are my aims, not popularity at all costs. If I say something, I mean it, even if I'm wrong - I need this to trust others, even trust others to settle disagreements with me personally - or agree to disagree <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> or even apologise if I realised my error.

[color:"yellow"]I use people[/color]: Well, I take this very seriously and feel very confused and unpleasantly surprised. As I have no further 1st hand statement who could feel this way, I decided to choose this public approach: [color:"yellow"]Please - you who feel/have felt this way - PM me[/color], so I know were I was misunderstood and can put things straight. As I personally dislike and detest manipulations highly, you can imagine I never intended to use anyone.

Gossip/rumours of this kind (using people) are like cobwebs IMO, they entangle sincere communication and lead to a poisoned atmosphere of distrust (at least in my case).

I prefer to be on good terms with a few exceptions (continuous spam / controversial / provoking / biased / rascist / sexist... statements from some people, now and then) - then I'll continue to express my opinion openly as I have done before.
Thank you in advance.
Kiya

Oh c'mon poeple this are the LARIAN boards, not some thee-club.

Well... you know me. I'm honest.
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
But I don't think this is the way to go.
It's almost like a popularity poll.
Most ppl will never say how they think of you... except behind your back.
That counts for you, me,... all of us.
That's why I don't care.
To continue like before is a joke after you posted this.
I'm sure you realise that.

Why can't you just say:" who gives a [nocando]?"
This is a forum. Not your best freinds in rl having a fight.
That doesn't mean that I don't value the opinion of some forummembers here.
There are some more than interesting ppl here.
But you/me/somebody doesn't get along with everybody.

This just reminds me of the is the HD popular thing.
<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/disagree.gif" alt="" />

Even better than what I was posting.
I agree whole hearted.

some people can't cope with gossip as well as others and I think this is a good idea <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />

besides people that gossip are AFRAID to tell people what they think of them, so who ever gossipped this is a pansie-[nocando] coward

kiya doesn't do this to draw attention or to get slimed to.

she has pmmed a lot of ppl about this.. she just really wants to know..

Well
kiya and Vipey <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/badsmile2.gif" alt="" />
You both know how I feel and that we've always been honest.
What you said just proves my point.
ppl are going to lei even more.

And it's going to
be like "o no, I didn't say that. Who said I did?"
ppl are ppl, so why don't just let it be? (Depeche Mode btw)

Always the same, we're all saints suddenly. No one said anything about kiya, no one joked about Viper, no one complained about Setharmon,...

Be realistic.
Remember the saying they have in Belgium... as long as ppl talk about you, you're alive. (when ppl talk good about you, you're dead)

This is just something to start more troubles between forummembers. Soon ppl gonna ask "who said what about who/me" and there you go...

Perhaps... But if there however is such gossip going on, I think kiya is very right - I would be very insulted too if someone told me people are talking behind my back how I've been using people <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Honestly? It would very much surprise me to see our lady "kiya" and "using people" in the same sentence <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/suspicion.gif" alt="" />
If some people truely are thinking this though, I hope you'll be able to work things out, kiya <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> You're doing the right thing here <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" /> I hope the people who this is about, think so too

IMO (and i always have one...sorry)
The person who got this PM in the first place should not have passed it on...it just makes others feel bad.
Sorry - but there's my two cents...hope i haven't pissd anyone off too much, and maybe now i will be the topic of a PM...which would suck...but...what can you do?

I've always hated personal gossip, especially online, since we're all technically strangers, and it's ridiculous to even have to deal with it. I mean, how much can you really discern about a person through a computer screen other than words and maybe a few photographs? I've been on the receiving end of online gossip before, and it sucked. And I know it sucks when others have to deal with it, too.

I'm a pretty new member to this board (lurked for a while, and registered when Interplay community forums shut down), but from what I can see Kiya is a really great member of this community -- can I call it a community? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wave.gif" alt="" /> Very intelligent, insightful and helpful. I don't want bad feelings to breed between people here, since this forum is one of those extremely rare gaming forums that doesn't have a lot of hostility. I'd hate to see that disrupted.

Seriously, you guys have it so chill here compared to other places. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />

If this is something to start more troubles, then kiya didn't start it, did she? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/suspicion.gif" alt="" />
Not that I see why anyone would want to start troubles between forummembers? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> Do you like everything to be suspicious then, Mulder? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

She's just asking for people to be honest - why don't leave it up to the people concerned and let it rest here? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hmmm... you want suspicious? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/think.gif" alt="" /> You have already made quite a few lengthy replies in this thread, Seth... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/think.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/think.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

Kiya

I saw all your work in this forum : the maps, the answers to the help questions.
It's a very good work !

If you were an uninteresting person, there would be not any gossip about you !

Be yourself and forget the gossip.

Maybe becouse I answered honestly...
And maybe becouse I'm pretty sure a lof of ppl can't handle the truth.
Maybe becouse I'm sure a lot of ppl won't be honest, no matter what they post here.
*grin*
Due to some pm's I got from some ppl I know there's been gossip about me too.
But I don't lay awake about it. And confronting ppl just gets you the completely opposite of what you want.


So I have the time to be online today. Enjoy it. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

we will seth, fully <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Gossip.... The world largest threat.

I personaly hate those things. I always say what i think about someone or something, in there faces, not behind there backs.

two reasons why:
1) they can defend themselfs
2) i hate talking behind someones back (i dont like it if they do it about me so...)


So my point is: if you have something to say about someone, say it to him/her directly, not through some gossip and via via. It alwasy gets worse like that bacause people tend to enlarge some thing out of proportion and out of its context. So misunderstanding and misinformation happens. Thats something we should avoid at all cost!!

***mod***
btw: if it wasnt for you kiya, alot of gamers would still be stuck in the game.
And one final thing: whoever spreads this kind of gossip again, will have to deal with me personaly! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/memad.gif" alt="" />
***end mod***

Lol - And you've stressed that 3 times already, Seth <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/think.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/think.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/badsmile2.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />

No it's true, a lot of people gossip all the time (although I'm as confused as Rose about how you can even gossip about people you know only from a forum <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ohh.gif" alt="" /> - but ok, obviously the virtual border doesn't pose a problem to the professionals <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> ) -- Gossip is one thing though - Talking about someone "using people" is something else IMO, to me that sounds like quite an accusation <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ouch.gif" alt="" /> - If I found out people have been saying something like that about me, I'd be pretty worried too <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

So really, I hope things work out - I have much respect for kiya's work here on the forum and I'd hate to see her leave because of bad talking taking place behind the screens <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/disagree.gif" alt="" />

"Or how a simple request for honesty and opennes made people justify gossip..." <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/think.gif" alt="" />

Gossip sucks large.

This might not have been handled in the most effective way, and who the hell cares what I have to say anyway... I mean, I'm still a newbie <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

BUT... if you want hoenst opinions, here's mine. You all need some beers.

And I'll just watch, 'cause I don't drink <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

he, who the hell says she uses people??? all she ever does is help people out, look at all those spoilers!!! dam thats a lot! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> people just shouldn't start rumours, it screws up the world, look at all those rumour mag's!

I just got home from work so now you get my two cents worth:

When I first came out to this forum I came with trepidation because all my other experiences with game forums had been pretty rude. Language, rudeness, everything was bad.

Then I came here and met Kiya. She was helpful and friendly and probably the nicest person I've met in many years. For someone to say that she uses people is an injustice.

I stayed on this forum because of Kiya. I met a lot of really nice people here that I consider my friends and it really hurts to think that any of my 'friends' would malign someone like this. If you can't say something nice, then it's much better to say nothing at all.

Carrie was right, this type of gossip should never have been spoken in the first place and if it was spoken to you - Why repeat it? It makes you unworthy and it only hurts. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/puppyeyes.gif" alt="" />

Wow, what an odd topic. Im with the people who think its wierd to gossip about people on a forum. It seems so.......pointless and petty. The good thing about the net is you can be so upfront and honest. Why then go wandering around behind someones back saying things?. Just say it to them.

From my conversations with Kiya I can definatly say she is honest, I dont always agree with her, but at least I know she has told me what she really truly feels/thinks. As for the using people, how is it even possible to do that online? An example would be good 'cause I really dont understand.

Anyway, thats my two cents worth.