I wondered why sometimes my warrior would give the option to "do this your way" but my ranger never did. Because he's obedient and she's not.
It doesn't work like that.
First, the primary character in the dialogue (the one speaking) gets a choice. Then the secondary character (the one nearby but not speaking to the NPC) gets a choice. Then the primary character can either choose an argument or choose to "do it your way," with the latter being the Obedient option. Then the secondary character must choose an argument, with no Obedient option.
The problem, as I see it, is that the secondary character never gets an option to be Obedient instead of arguing in the fourth set of options. I'd like to see that get fixed.