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Elendirill saw Mari approach the stone, like she was in trance. The voices seemed to come from the place she was standing now. Elendirill felt a bit more comfortable himself, but he could see Mari was in trouble ...
The protective globe was still there, although it was weak, so he tried to pull Mari away from the stone, but ... she seemed stuck! All in the sudden Elendirill had the feeling his life had been nothing but a path, only to lead him to this moment.
He had heard stories from the Elders, some of the Great Elves from the past have done but one deed in their life, and it was because of the one thing they did, that the entire elven society was saved from certain doom. It had always seemed simple when he was young ... they didn't have to fight hordes of monsters, or they didn't have to study the ancient lore ... they just had to do ... one ... thing.

Elendirill didn't know what he was doing, but it seemed right, he put his hands on Mari's shoulders, trying to concentrate on the globe around them. It's magick existed on it's own, so Elendirill might use this power to get Mari away from whatever she was facing in that altar ...

Elendirill concentrated ...

The ghostly hand in the stone reached out for Mari's soulfinger, touched and joined it - travelled back through the golden light - the long way through the stone - leaving it - reaching Mari's body - travelling through her heart and ending at its goal: Mari's shoulders, where Elendirill had his hands.

A strange feeling - Mari knew with certainty: this was Feraila, reaching out for her one-and-only love: Her husband. And she felt thankfulness for being useful as a channel for these elves and their strong love, a bittersweet joy - and a desperate hope, both would be reunited again - be it in this life or in another dimension... She felt their silent love travelling back and forth... An endless everstreaming conversation, she was allowed to take part in - as a silent observer.

What followed was too much for words, a bright light came from the altar, bathing the cave in an unearthly light. horrible details became visible, blood marks on the wall which were the silent remains of horrible deeds ... divices were detached in between iron rings, to hold an innocent creatures and torture them untill they broke ...
But all of that was invisible to Elendirill, right in front of him ... Feraila stood right in front of him. Touching his hands on Mari's shoulder ... And Mari was glowing with a golden aura, never could he repay her for what she had done for him, even if he could give her the earth, the moon and the stars, it wouldn't compensate for what she had given him ...

So this is what happiness feels like ... he could see into Feraila's eyes, he could see the surprise from her side too ... Her lips were moving, but too slow, he couldn't hear what she was trying to say. A strange feeling came from the corners of his mouth ... and he knew why, it has been too long since he could laugh again, and he did, he looked upwards and laughed as loud as he could ... but again he couldn't hear a sound ... it didn't matter.

The touch of her hands, the exchange of warmth between the both of them, it was like he hadn't really felt anything before ... he could feel every tender finger, both perfect thumbs ... this feeling should last forever ... and it did

.


Elendirill fell down on the dusty cave floor, lifeless like the pieces of altar scathered all around ...

Mari's shoulder felt a change - the soft pressure had ceased - she turned around and - saw... Elendirill had fallen down. A part of her was still connected to Feraila, the golden aura filling her heart, slowly ceased - a gentle farewell, a soft caress - and she saw Feraila standing next to her - she was free, freed out of her stone prison - standing there, a translucent figure with a radiant smile on her face. But at what costs!

Mari wanted to scream - curse fate, the Gods - everything: THIS WAS NOT FAIR! Not like this - but she found no words and stood petrified as Feraila - or was it her soul? Her love for Elendirill? As Feraila slowly floated towards were the elf lay and Mari was terrified of what the elven ladies' reaction would be like when she realized what had happened...

AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

With the scream it felt like the last pieces of hope crumbled away .. she didn't understand.
Just moments ago she was sleeping. She had been sleeping most of the time since the man that brought her here had left. She had no food and she had to save her strenght ... also, she had to keep her head clear, she had seen Elendirill's sign, so there was still hope ... all she had to do was survive long enough and keep her head clear. But then she was pulled out of her dream, she had the feeling things around her, and outside her cell, changed ... not visually, but something in the air felt different.
And then she was pulled into a room, it was a part of her .. she could feel her body still sitting up on her cold bed, but another part of her was warm, and right in front of her ... In front of her stood Elendirill, she could see him past a girl, a strange girl she didn't know, but with a certain glow which surrounded her ...
She was touching his hands, feeling his love and sending her love in return, she felt happy as she could see the smile on his face, as a reflection of the one on hers.

But then ... the warmth dissappeared, Elendirill fell down, she tried to get to him, but after floating towards him she returned to her body ...

And that's why she screamed

Mari's head shot around: A scream - where did it come from? And where had the translucent elf vanished to? She tiptoed up to Elendirill, against all reason, she still hoped for a life sign. She bent down and touched his chest. No, nothing... Blue welled up in her and entered the lifeless body - only darkness inside. Then this dreadful scream again - full of despair, desperation and loss.
Mari stood up wearily, bending on her staff - will this never end? Then she followed the scream's trail - long corridors, grey as her heart was - empty and lacking light - the same as she felt... the same as she felt now.

Her path lead her eventually to a cell, the scream's source. Peering through the opening, she saw FERAILA! She knew at once, it WAS Feraila, Elendirill's love, a love only an elf can feel... The elven lady's face was distorted, full of pain and not understanding what had happened. Her hands were clenched to fists, her knuckles white and her eyes were closed. Such pain!

Mari sighed, was she the one who had to break the bad news? Elendirill's sacrifice had given Feraila her freedom back, the magic bonds of the cell door were broken - but for what??? For what??

The human village girl entered the cell and touched Feraila's arm timidly:

"You're Feraila? I'm sorry, but..."

The elf opened her eyes and looked into Mari's... No word need to be said... she understood, her face was as pale as snow. Her sorrow and grief nearly unbearable for Mari to behold. Then she heard Feraila's broken voice:

"I don't know your name, girl - but WHERE is he? Where is my love? Bring me to him, I want to see, to understand, to be reunited..."

Mari sighed again, turned around and went back to the altar room - passed the empty grey corridors - long corridors - grey as her heart was, again - empty and lacking light - the same as she felt... the same as she felt again - with one difference, this time she was accompanied by someone who's sorrow was larger, who's heart broke more and more with each step.

"And I can't do anything, I can't help," Mari whispered to herself. Even all colours of the world, even the staff... nothing could help.

The elf and the human finally reached the altar room, Feraila rushed over to Elendirill's silent body - Mari turned away, her head bent. She knew an intruder would disturb now... even a silent observer would be too much, would desecrate...

Feraila looked down. She didn't see an elf, she didn't see a man ... She couldn't see the clothes he was wearing, all the cracks and parts that were missing ... the blood, she didn't see he was almost as thin as paper, she didn't see anything.
All her senses seemed to concentrate on one thing, she heared his voice still inside. All the names he gave to her, perfect reflection of the full moon in a cold mountain lake, dew on the top leaves of the youngest trees when the sun first appeared in spring, veil hung over the stars which keeps them shining, ... She could hear him speaking those words, Elendirill wasn't dead, he was just ...

A sad smile came over Feraile ... where was Elendirill? This was not him, he had always been warm, tender, holding her just to feel her, Elendirill had always something to say when it was silent like this ...
Feraila laughed and cried at the same time, she wanted to come closer to him, but she was afraid. What if this was Elendirill? Not that it mattered, this couldn't be him ... but what...

Feraila slowly moved her hands towards Elendirill's face. It was feeling cold, as cold as the cave around her. As cold as the breeze coming from above, chilled by the travel under the ground.
It felt cold ... but familiar.

Again Feraila screamed, but this time with everything a broken heart could sound like. A scream which was not just air escaping from her lungs, but also the last remaines of hope vanishing ... Feraila closed her hands around Elendirill's head, kissing his cold forehead while tears were flowing down on his face. The tears made small canals through the dirt on his face, and then became one with the rock floor.

Feraila wanted to get closer, she wanted to hold him one last time ... she wanted to give her life force just to get Elendirill breathing again, she wanted to become one with him. She pressed herself onto his lifeless body and felt warmth. Could it be? Maybe he wasn't dead, he was still warm, she had to get him breathing again!!
Feraila tore the rags that remained on him away so she could listen at his heart but when she trew away the pieces of clothing her hand was touched ...

Still overwhelmed by emotions she saw a leaf in her hands. Elendirill's leaf. It was still green. Leaves are always green, but why was this one so special feraila thought? How did something so irrelevant come to mind? It was still alive ...

Feraila's breath stopped. Or time stopped around her ... She was feeling two things which shouldn't be. Her one hand was still pressed on the bare chest of her love. Not only her love, but the other part of her. And he was dead ... which couldn't be, because she was still alive ...
In the other hand she helt a leaf of a tree, seperated from the lifeforce of the tree, it should have withered and it should be dead now ... but it wasn't, it was still alive. It was not only alive, she could feel the wrong emotions flowing from it. It felt happy, joyful and most of all it felt powerfull. But Feraila was feeling like all happiness had been drained from her, without leaving some for the future, and she felt weak, without the power to do anything.

Then lightning flashed. Feraila felt the two powers flowing together. Feelins of supreme happiness and the deepest of sorrow united. It felt like her emotions were circling around inside of her ... but she didn't understand the meaning of her anymore.

She was no longer Feraila, she was two now.
She could feel through the leaf. She could feel how she was the tree which had given this leaf, she could feel the connection she had with the other trees, and together they were the forest. She could feel how all of her had a connection with the earth and the earth was connected to her, and she could feel how they together, were one. Her entirely had a connection with the air, which was all around her, in her and through her, and she realized they were one. She could feel how she was, big and unified. But she could feel the rays of the sun touching her, and through the rays she could feel, that actually, all was one ...

But she also felt the pain of suffering. She was the pain of suffering. She had experienced a loss so great, which made the rest of her life non-existend. There was no more life for her, there was no more her.

That moment, which only seemed to last for a few nano seconds in real life, Feraila stopped existing together with the remains of Elendirill.

Instead there was a light. That is how you would call it when you could see it, but it wa more then a light, it was something without an equal, and something unexplainable for the mind. That moment, life was in the cave. The all-powerfull ... the force which could re-shape the world without what we would call effort, or just end it's existence. Good or evil, it wouldn't matter, this power was all that is.
And something happened ... Elendirill was no longer dead, and Feraila was no longer alive. Elendirill and Feraila just were. They had become one and together they were ... or they were together.
The evil that had torn them who were one apart was no longer. The presence was expelled from existing, and all he had ever touched on the world was released as it was before ...

But the other hand ... the tree which had given the leaf crumbled to dust the same second and the entire forest was struck by a lethal plague, no tree would survive longer then a few months ... all trees over the planet suffered, but most would recover, with only a small mark, which resembled two creatures. It was a pitchblack mark, always somewere between the trunk and where the branches split up ... The mark was like a black picture of two elves, one lying down, the other clinging onto the falen one ...

Mari nearly jumped out of her skin - the lightning flash blinded her, she stared at the altar room where she had left Feraila and Elendirill - they were gone, simply vanished! She rushed to the spot where his body had slumped unto the ground - nothing, just an empty space... But then she noticed two locks of hair - entwined, as if they were holding each other. She bent down and picked them up carefully and tenderly.

"Last remainders... nothing else," she mumbled. And then - emotions welled up in her, emotions and colours, creating an inner pandemonium. She screamed and cursed, clutching the locks tightly in her hands - she swore and thought of revenge. But where to get revenge from? Black hatred, red anger, brown dullness, the vicious yellow of lighting: these colours streamed out of her, filled the chamber, shattered the altar to even more little shards - the room started to tremble, the ground began to shake. She did not stop - her inner urge for destruction went on and on. She struck the staff on the ground, hit the walls with all her might - she raged, on the search for something to pay for what had happened. She bashed the walls over and over again, refusing to give in.

"IT'S NOT FAIR!"

This became her mantra - her mantra of rebellion - the first time she had decided to help and side up with someone... aid... the first time she wanted to do something useful and give up her inner distance to life and virtues... the first time she used her gift of soul-sending gladly to help... all in vain.

"ALL IN VAIN! NO NEVER! NEVER AGAIN!"

Her blind rage brought her to the entrance, whitout noticing her surroundings clearly, she stumbled out and reached the cave exit.

A shattering... a crumble...a groan... a roar... the stones came down and closed the cave, Mari was enclosed by dust and splittering stones - but the staff seemed to protect her - as if it had a life of its own and wanted to prevent its bearer from harm.


She stumbled onwards, her staff was driving her... Stopping in a safe distance she stood in the sunlight for a long time - motionless, emotionless, drained. After some time she went with dragging steps to the clearing and started to collect twigs - branches - dry grass, piling it up neatly in the center of this clearing - far away from trees. Zanor, her black stallion was watching her silently and kept regurgitating grass.

The pile was high enough at last for her liking. She took 2 small bundles out of her pocket and placed them carefully on the pyre - stepped back and thrust her staff defiantly into it. A huge flame roared up, licking at the hairlocks. The blaze wove a network of shadows and light on her face - she did not seem to feel anything anymore - no heat, no scorching - nothing. The fire must have raved for an hour and all this time she felt her heart changing to stone. A stone could not feel pain - could not burn in the flames - remained untouched.... The fire died down slowly and as even the last glowing embers changed to grey and the wind was able to blow and tease away the flocks - life came back slowly into her. She started to part these ashes with her staff, nothing should be left over, everything should go back to nature and change to something new. Nothing should be left to remind anyone of what had happened - no trace at all.

"Elendirill... Feraila..." she stopped. Words were wrong for a stone, her heart was grey and heavy.... Every trace of what had once been the elven hair, the woods he had loved so much, was gone - only an empty black scorched circle remained - like the chasms of her mind - her memories. If only this fire could have burned out every experience she had... no, tears were wrong for a stone. She never wanted to feel again - never...

"NEVER!" She stomped her staff heavily on the ground and startled Zanor. He whinnied and trotted over to her, rubbed his head against her shoulder. She fondled his soft head, felt him nibbling at her hair and patted his neck.

"Yes, you're still here, Zanor. I'll take care of you..." she sighed - even her sigh was grey. "You know what? If I ever threaten to fall in love - give me a horsekiss, promise?" The stallion butted her chest gently," never - never again", she kept mumbling to herself softly.

"You're right, Zanor, what's gone is gone - let's go back to Snowcross Abbey - Eandrae wants me as an apprentice. Gaining knowledge is better than feeling - mark my words! Never - never again..."

She mounted the horse and together they left this place and headed for the only place that made sense - the future...

And a word seemed to linger and hover over the abandoned destroyed cave and the clearing with the black scorched circle: NEVER! It whispered, it sang, it tempted: NEVER AGAIN!