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Womble you know I posted the lyrics to Lucretia a page or two ago... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> LOL. I just liked them so much I thought I'd repeat them..... honest. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/stupid.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/silly.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shame.gif" alt="" /> Anyway, I'm starting to like this thread a lot so I'm going to try to stick some more good stuff in. OK, this is funny, sick but funny. I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love. It had been a while. In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went since that midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10. I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops. Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips, milky white skin, and baby blue eyes. Name was Russell. Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave," this pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock. Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin', 'cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer." Well, she smiled, had about as much teeth as a jack-o-lantern, and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask as I do my little kooky dance. And then she told me to shush. I guess she could sense my desperation. Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl. Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true. So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ is jackhammerin' Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something resemblin' a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus' tummy-tum?" Well, ten beers, twenty minutes, and thirty dollars later I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean. Got to nail her back at her trailer. That rhymes. I have to admit, it was even more of a turn-on when I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula. Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch, gave the tranny a spin, and slid on into The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop. There I was browsin' through the latest issue of Throb, when I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton. Well, my heart just dropped. So, I decided to do what any good Christian would. You cannot imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish the one-eyed gopher when you're doin' seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler. I never thought missing children could be so sexy. Did I say that out loud? Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Bloodhounds again.. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" />
" Road rage, air rage. Why should I be forced to divide my rage into seperate categories? To me, it's just one big, all-around, everyday rage. I don't have time for distinctions. I'm too busy screaming at people. " -George Carlin
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that reminded me of a good one.
clutch - Careful With That Mic
So tell me, when you took the Practice Scholastic Aptitude Test, did you know the answers or did you guess? You rely on gimmicks to amuse your fans and act all urban to jack up your soundscan What's the matter with you? How come you rhyme monosylabically? Is atrophy shrinking your entire vocabulary? Your style's like garbage cans meant to be taken out on a weekly basis Ever since your first record you've been in a state of suspended animation You look like Snuffleuffagus and Astropithecus Me cray, you abacus But enough about you, let's talk about me and how single-handedly I redefined the science of radio astronomy Making Nobel prize winners question their notions of reality Oh, but I digress You always win at Sorry I always win at chess Go get some percasets Ha ha, ha ha
Chorus: Careful with that mic weezy Do you really think it's that easy? Do you really think it's true? That up above they can't hear you
Mmm, this is really good ice cream, do you want some of it? Oh, my bad, I didn't know you were lactose intolerant Makes you pass gas, frightens all the girls away Only friends you keep are those you pay I'm always on the ready for the wack snack attack I carry sandwiches around in a straight edge style Jansport back pack Got the gadget Q gave Bond, controls your mind, makes you jump in a pond Go quack quack and flap your arms Leaves you confused but completely unharmed Ha ha, ha ha
Both you and I know the past ten years have been rather intense I'm ashamed to admit I've been fooled by the seductions of violence People walking around with ugly auras At times I'm even tempted to seek the advice of Dr. Laura But I ignore her And I take a deep breath and count to ten Ain't gonna let it get under my skin Take a deep breath and count to ten Think of all the nice places that I've been Like back when I was waging peace against the visigoths I was tutored in the ancient mysteries by a wisened philosoph Learned the polyrythyms of celestial time Waiting for the one to come and get it done And finish the rhyme Ha ha
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Womble that is sick. But it's still hilarious. I had a roommate who listened to that sometimes and I couldn't stop laughing when I read the lyrics just now.
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Iron maiden - Aces High
There goes the siren that warns of the air raid Then comes the sound of the guns sending flak Out for the scramble we've got to get airborne Got to get up for the coming attack.
Jump in the cockpit and start up the engines Remove all the wheelblocks there's no time to waste Gathering speed as we head down the runway Gotta get airborne before it's too late.
Running, scrambling, flying Rolling, turning, diving, going in again Run, live to fly, fly to live, do or die Run, live to fly, fly to live. Aces high.
Move in to fire at the mainstream of bombers Let off a sharp burst and then turn away Roll over, spin round and come in behind them Move to their blindsides and firing again.
Bandits at 8 O'clock move in behind us Ten ME-109's out of the sun Ascending and turning our spitfires to face them Heading straight for them I press down my guns
Rolling, turning, diving Rolling, turning, diving, going in again Run, live to fly, fly to live, do or die Run, live to fly, fly to live, Aces high
It's one of these days...
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OP
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Womble that is sick. But it's still hilarious. I had a roommate who listened to that sometimes and I couldn't stop laughing when I read the lyrics just now. Bloodhounds are generally sick. Have you seen any video clip? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
You can have my absence of faith you can have my everything...
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Put this on when you've downed a few, and crank up the volume... . . Waxie's Dargle [The Pogues' Version] ------------------------------------ Says my aul' wan to your aul' wan "Will ye go to the Waxies dargle?" Says your aul' wan to my aul' wan, "I haven't got a farthing. I went up to Monto town To see Uncle McArdle But he wouldn't give me a half a crown For to go to the Waxies dargle." What will ya have?! I'll have a pint! I'll have a pint with you, Sir! And if one of ya' doesn't order soon We'll be chucked out of the boozer! Says my aul' wan to your aul' wan "Will ye go to the Galway races?" Says your aul' wan to my aul' wan, "I'll hawk me aul' man's braces. I went up to Capel Street To the Jewish moneylenders But he wouldn't give me a couple of bob For the aul' man's red suspenders." Chorus Says my aul' wan to your aul' wan "We got no beef or mutton If we went up to Monto town We might get a drink for nuttin'" Here's a nice piece of advice I got from an aul' fishmonger: "When food is scarce and you see the hearse You'll know you have died of hunger." Chorus x2 [Waxie's Dargle] ------------------------------------------ Says my aul' wan to your aul' wan "Will ye come to the Waxies dargle?" Says your aul' wan to my aul' wan, "Sure I haven't got a farthing. I've just been down to Monto town To see Uncle McArdle But he didn't have half a crown For to go to the Waxies dargle." What are ye having, will ye have a pint? Yes, I'll have a pint with you, sir, And if one of us doesn't order soon We'll be thrown out of the boozer. Says my aul' wan to your aul' wan "Will ye come to the Galway races?" Says your aul' wan to my aul' wan, "With the price of my aul' lad's braces. I went down to Capel Street To the Jew man moneylenders But they wouldn't give me a couple of bob on My aul' lad's suspenders." Chorus Says my aul' wan to your aul' wan "We have no beef or mutton But if we go down to Monto town We might get a drink for nuttin'" Here's a piece of good advice I got from an aul' fishmonger: "When food is scarce and you see the hearse You'll know you have died of hunger.
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Hello <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wave.gif" alt="" /> me again, This is a classic "Love 'em and leave 'em" song, a la POGUES styley <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> . . The Gentleman Soldier Lyrics
[The Pogues' Version] --------------------------------
It's of a gentleman soldier as sentry he did stand He saluted a fair maiden by a waiving of his hand So then he boldly kissed her and he passed it off as a joke He drilled her up in the sentry box wrapped up in a soldier's cloke
And the drums are going a rap a tap tap And the fifes they loudly play Fare you well Polly my dear I must be going away
All night they tossed and tumbled till the daylight did appear The soldier rose, put on his clothes, saying, Fare you well my dear For the drums they are a beating and the fifes they so sweetly play If it weren't for that Polly my dear with you I'd gladly stay
And the drums are going a rap a tap tap And the fifes they loudly play Fare you well Polly my dear I must be going away
Now come you gentleman soldier, won't you marry me? Oh no my dearest Polly such things can never be for I've a wife already children I have three Two wives are allowed in the army but one's too many for me
And the drums are going a rap a tap tap And the fifes they loudly play Fare you well Polly my dear I must be going away
If anyone comes a courting you, you can treat them to a glass If anyone comes a courting you, you can say you're a country lass You needn't ever tell them, nor pass it off as a joke That you got drilled in a sentry box wrapped up in a soldier's cloke
And the drums are going a rap a tap tap And the fifes they loudly play Fare you well Polly my dear I must be going away
Oh it's come my gentleman soldier, why didn't you tell me so? My parents will be angy when this they come to know When nine months had been and gone the poor girl she brought shame She had a little militia boy and she didn't know his name
And the drums are going a rap a tap tap And the fifes they loudly play Fare you well Polly my dear I must be going away
These are the lyrics as they appear on the Rum, Sodomy, & The Lash insert.
[The Sentry Box] ---------------------------------
'Twas on one Sunday evening on sentry did I stand I fell in love with some pretty girl by shaking of her hand; By shaking of her hand, my boys, and the passing of a joke, I slipped her into the sentry box and roll'd her up in my cloak.
O! there we toss'd and tumbl'd till daylight did appear Then I arose, put on my clothes, saying, "Fare you well my dear. The drums they are a-beating and the fifes so sweetly play, If it wasn't for that, dear Polly, along with you I'd stay."
If anyone comes a-courting you, you treat them with a glass - If anyone comes a-courting you, say you're a country lass. You need not even tell them that ever you pass'd a joke, That ever you went in a sentry box wrapp'd up in a soldier's cloak.
"Now come, my valiant young soldier, O! won't you marry me?" "O! no, my dearest Polly, such things they never can be, For married I am already and children I have three, Two wives are allow'd in the army, but one is enough for me."
"O! now, my valiant young soldier, why hadn't you told me so? My parents they'll be angry if ever they come to know." When nine long months was up and pass'd this this poor girl she brought shame, For she had a little militia boy and she could not tell his name.
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Just listening to this this morning on my way to work: (Monty Python)
(spoken) The world today is absolutely cracked. With nuclear bombs to blow us all sky high. There's fools and idiots sitting on the trigger. It's depressing, and it's senseless, and that's why...
(singing) I like chinese, I like chinese, They only come up to you knees, Yet they're always friendly and they're ready to to please.
I like chinese, I like chinese, There's nine hundred million of them in the world today, You'd better learn to like them, that's what I say.
I like chinese, I like chinese, They come from a long way overseas, But they're cute, and they're cuddly, and they're ready to please.
I like chinese food, The waiters never are rude, Think the many things they've done to impress, There's maoism, taoism, eging and chess.
I like chinese, I like chinese, I like their tiny little trees, Their zen, their ping-pong, their ying and yang-eze.
I like chinese thought, The wisdom that Confusious taught, If Darwin is anything to shout about, The chinese will survive us all without any doubt.
So, I like chinese, I like chinese, They only come up to you knees, Yet they're wise, and they're witty, and they're ready to please
Wo, I chumba run, Wo, I chumba run, Wo, I chumba run, Ne hamma, Ne hamma, Ne hamma chi chen.
I like chinese, I like chinese, They're food is guaranteed to please, A fourteen, a seven, a nine and li-chese
I like chinese, I like chinese, I like their tiny little trees, Their zen, their ping-pong, their yin and yang-eze
I like chinese, I like chinese, (fade out....)
" Road rage, air rage. Why should I be forced to divide my rage into seperate categories? To me, it's just one big, all-around, everyday rage. I don't have time for distinctions. I'm too busy screaming at people. " -George Carlin
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Everyone sing along.... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />
Cheer up, Brian. You know what they say. Some things in life are bad, They can really make you mad. Other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle, Don't grumble, give a wistle! And this'll help things turn out for the best... And... (the music fades into the song) ...always look on the bright side of life! (whistle) Always look on the bright side of life... If life seems jolly rotten, There's something you've forgotten! And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing, When you're feeling in the dumps, Don't be silly chumps, Just purse your lips and whistle -- that's the thing! And... always look on the bright side of life... (whistle) Come on! (other start to join in) Always look on the bright side of life... (whistle) For life is quite absurd, And death's the final word. You must always face the curtain with a bow! Forget about your sin -- give the audience a grin, Enjoy it -- it's the last chance anyhow! So always look on the bright side of death! Just before you draw your terminal breath. Life's a piece of [nocando], When you look at it. Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true, You'll see it's all a show, Keep 'em laughing as you go. Just remember that the last laugh is on you! And always look on the bright side of life... (whistle) Always look on the bright side of life (whistle)
" Road rage, air rage. Why should I be forced to divide my rage into seperate categories? To me, it's just one big, all-around, everyday rage. I don't have time for distinctions. I'm too busy screaming at people. " -George Carlin
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sublime - drunk drivin
Drunk driving is what I like to do. I like drunk driving with you.
(yep, thats the whole song)
sublime - pool shark
Lying in my plastic bed, thinking how thinking how things weren't so cool me. My baby likes to shoot pool, I like lying naked in my bedroom, tying off that dinosaur, tonight, it used to be so cool.
Now I got that needle, I can bleed, but I can't breathe. Take it away, but I want more and more. One day I'm gonna loose the war.
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Arno - Putain Putain (Dutch/flemmish youngsters might skip this one ^^)
Je ne suis pas un communiste Je ne suis pas une cycliste Je ne suis pas une catholique Je ne suis pas une footbaliste
Allez allez circulez Avec ton cue d’un pede J’aime les femmes J’aime les garçons Et comme j’ai déjŕ dit J’aime les zizis
Putain putain c’est Vachement bien Nous sommes quand męme Tous des Européens
Ne korte dikke stoot alles in stukken Ne lange dunne doet deugd van binnen ‘k heb een kleintje maar ‘k schiet verre
Il y a des gens qui parlent beaucoup mais ne disent rien du tout Il y a des gens qui crčvent de faim
Putain putain c’est Vachement bien Nous sommes quand męme Tous des Européens
Jolie demoiselle Prend mes mains Le samedi soir tout le monde Prend du bain The rich may be rich The poor may be poor They all beat the [nocando] off eachother
Putain putain c’est Vachement bien Nous sommes quand męme Tous des Européens Putain putain c’est Vachement bien Nous sommes quand męme Tous des Européens
It's one of these days...
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I think that there are some nasty words in that song <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" />
What a wonderull thing languages are! Some words are the same in Greek. The P....n word is the same! (But I don´t know if it means the same <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/question.gif" alt="" />) <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />
You can have my absence of faith you can have my everything...
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I used to come home late and not a minute too soon Barking like a dog, howling at the moon You'd be mad as an ol' red hen Up all night wonderin' where I been I'd fall down and say come help me honey You laughed outloud I guess you thought it was funny I sobered up and I got to thinkin' Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin'
Now I'm paintin' the house and I'm mendin' the fence I guess I gone out and lost all my good sense Too much work is hard for your health I could've died drinkin', now I'm killing myself And I'm feedin' the dog, sackin' the trash It's honey do this honey do that I sobered up and I got to thinkin' Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin'
Now I'm fixin' the sink and I'm mowin' the grass You made me a list and I'm bustin' my wheel All broke down, tail's been draggin' It's a rough ol' life up here on the wagon I'm feedin' the dog, sackin' the trash It's honey do this honey do that I sobered up and I got to thinkin' Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin' Yeah I sobered up and I got to thinkin' Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin'
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Rock You Baby Lyrics
Met you in a café At a table meant for two You were sitting by your lonesome When I sat down with you Tried hard not to show it But I couldn’t help but see That you wore your broken heart out on your sleeve And your loneliness could not disguise The beauty and the charm Thought if I ever get you, shattered lady, in my arms
I’m gonna rock you baby to sleep I’m gonna make you crazy over me I’m gonna hold you like you’ve never been held before And love you till you tell me you can’t love anymore I’m gonna shake your emotion right down to your soul And then I’m gonna love you all over in and out of control If this is how love is supposed to feel Baby I know I’ve fallen head over heels I’m gonna rock you baby
Over open conversation and a bottle of red wine You said this world is full of users and I know that I’ve had mine We danced a little slow dance until they closed that café down You said ‘what would be the chances that tonight I finally found Someone who makes me feel like my life is just begun?’ I said ‘girl believe in me and I’ll show you how it’s done’
I’m gonna rock you baby to sleep I’m gonna make you crazy over me I’m gonna hold you like you’ve never been held before And love you till you tell me you can’t love anymore I’m gonna shake your emotion right down to your soul And then I’m gonna love you all over in and out of control If this is how love is supposed to feel Baby I know I’ve fallen head over heels I’m gonna rock you baby
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I think that there are some nasty words in that song <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" />
What a wonderull thing languages are! Some words are the same in Greek. The P....n word is the same! (But I don´t know if it means the same <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/question.gif" alt="" />) <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" /> probably
It's one of these days...
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some songs just describe your life way too much.
helmet - wilmas rainboe
You heard about, "be your own man" You talk a lot and loud Illustrate the obvious boy You're mentally endowed
Watershed year comes You're flush with fever The richest drug dealer
Honestly, a book you read once let you Think in rhyme. The old extreme sits Pale and molds now for the Millionth time
Wilma's rainbow of peaceful colors The richest drug dealer
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some songs just describe your life way too much. I hear you on that. The following song fits me to a T, especially the chorus. Pick 'em up, Lay 'em downShe said the man's goin' home with me She told the bar she was takin' all bets You never trust a woman drinkin' whiskey That lights her own cigarette I started callin' her baby, temptation was drivin' me wild I think the only thing that saved me It's just not my style 'Cause I'm not the kind of man that goes out just lookin' for a woman I like the price you pay to keep passion on solid ground I'm not the kind of man that holds out on a need for nothin' I'm as lonely as any man around I just don't like to pick 'em up and lay 'em down Lay 'em down Pick 'em up and lay 'em down So we went from bottoms up to coffee cups A corner booth where the lights got dim We started talkin' 'bout gettin' real close About how, and about when It started rainin' harder and harder I got up and with a thoughtful smile I said, "Honey, if that ain't thunder and lightnin' It just ain't worthwhile" I'm not the kind of man that goes out just lookin' for a woman I like the price you pay to keep passion on solid ground I'm not the kind of man that holds out on a need for nothin' I'm as lonely as any man around I just don't like to pick 'em up and lay 'em down Lay 'em down, down, down, down, down I turned around and gave her one last smile And thought about one long kiss But that would be takin' it too far baby And maybe something I couldn't resist I'm not the kind of man that goes out just lookin' for a woman I like the price you pay to keep passion on solid ground I'm not the kind of man that holds out on a need for nothin' I'm as lonely as any man around I just don't like to pick 'em up and lay 'em down Lay 'em down Pick 'em up and lay 'em down Lay 'em down If it ain't about thunder and lightnin' It just ain't worthwhile Lord knows it just ain't my style Pick 'em up and lay 'em down, down, down, down, down Pick 'em up and lay 'em down
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One of my favorite lyrics:
3 Doors Down - Kryptonite:
I took a walk around the world To ease my troubled mind I left my body laying somewhere In the sands of time I watched the world float To the dark side of the moon I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah
I watched the world float To the dark side of the moon After all I knew it had to be Something to do with you I really donat mind what happens now and then As long as youall be my friend at the end
If I go crazy then will you still Call me Superman If Iam alive and well, will you be There holding my hand Iall keep you by my side With my superhuman might Kryptonite
You called me strong, you called me weak, But still your secrets I will keep You took for granted all the times I never let you down You stumbled in and bumped your head, If not for me then you would be dead I picked you up and put you back On solid ground
If I go crazy then will you still Call me Superman If Iam alive and well, Will you be there holding my hand Iall keep you by my side With my superhuman might Kryptonite Yeah!!
If I go crazy then will you still Call me Superman If Iam alive and well, will you be there Holding my hand Iall keep you by my side With my superhuman might Kryptonite
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Just listening to this this morning. Green day rule....
Basket Case (describes my hung-over state today quite well)
Do you have the time To listen to me whine About nothing and everything all at once I am one of those Melodramatic fools Neurotic to the bone no doubt about it
Sometimes I give myself the creeps Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me It all keeps adding up I think I'm cracking up Am I just paranoid Or am I just stoned
I went to a shrink To analyze my dreams She says it's lack of sex That's bringing me down I went to a whore He said my life's a bore So quit my whining cause It's bringing her down
Sometimes I give myself the creeps Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me It all keeps adding up I think I'm cracking up Am I just paranoid Or am I just stoned
Grasping to control So I better hold on
Sometimes I give myself the creeps Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me It all keeps adding up I think I'm cracking up Am I just paranoid Or am I just stoned
" Road rage, air rage. Why should I be forced to divide my rage into seperate categories? To me, it's just one big, all-around, everyday rage. I don't have time for distinctions. I'm too busy screaming at people. " -George Carlin
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One of my favorite lyrics:
Artist: Jet Song: Are you going to be my girl So 1,2,3, take my hand and come with me because you look so fine and I really wanna make you mine.I say you look so fine and I really wanna make you mine.Oh, 4,5,6 c'mon and get your kicks now you don't need that money when you look like that, do ya honey.Big black boots, long brown hair, she's so sweet with her get back stare.Well I could see, you home with me,but you were with another man, yea!I know well, and god must have said, before I let you get away, yea!
I said, are you gonna be my girl?Well, so 1,2,3, take my hand and come with me because you look so fine and I really wanna make you mine.I say you look so fine that I really wanna make you mine.Oh, 4,5,6 c'mon and get your kicks now you dont need that moneywith a face like that, do ya.Big black boots, long brown hair, she's so sweet with her get back stare.Well I could see, you home with me, but you were with another man, yea!I know well, and god must have said, before I let you get away, yea!I said, are you gonna be my girl?Oh yea. Oh yea. C'mon!I could see,you home with me, But you were with another man, yea!I know well, and god must have said, before I let you get away, yea!Uh, be my girl.Be my girl.Are you gonna be my girl?! Yeah
Every game has a story,
Only one is a legend.
Divine Divinity
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