Larian Studios Forums General Chat ! -->JOKES<-- ;P

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/alien.gif" alt="" />Propheet's illfamous jokes, part 2

[color:"orange"]Yes folks, WE FINALLY DID IT!!! This is a *geniune* sneekpeek at what Riftrunner will offer as the spells are concerned!!! (read it, our major hackers worked tirelessly for weeks to get it, da%%mn guys from Larians jinxed the server, we lost our xp-crackers when internet firewall appeared to be something more than just a software obstacle...poor fellas... but we have it just below!!!, AND you don't have to join anywhere for free, WE PROMISE!!!) [/color]

-->WAY OF THE ECONOMIST<--
path: Alimental Powers

Meteor Strike - Casts your guild's will to heavens, to get no respond at all, then bring forth some meteors on strike, so that they picket and demonstrate for the raise.
level 1: upon protesting, each metor will do nothing until given a raise, or a promotion.
MANA COST: Never enough!

Alimental Strike - a coctail of alimental strikers and members of professional unions is hurled with petitions and ultimatums towards the boss, who is picketted, barricaded or voted against in parliament randomly.
MANA COST: More, more, more!!

path: Powers of summoning money

Vanish - Sends the money from your never paying boss directly into your wallet, where it(the bucks) should be.

transfer amounts of money(passive) - the vanishing money gets some of your abilities to form larger groups;)

Summon demonic accountant - summons an accountant of the demonic realm to help you in never ending battle with VAT, IVA, ICT and other income tax forms.
level 1: summon an honest dreadaccountant
level 2: summon money-wasting dreadaccountant
level 3: summon the professional in embezzlement and squandering
level 4: summon a dishonest dreadaccountant.

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path: Powers of commodity and budget

Buck leech - drain the purchasing force from your opponent and add it to your own reserves

Shopkeepers sight - use the power of economy to cast your view in the ares your greedy hands have yet to tread.

Restoration - Send your purchasing energy coursig thru your reins to restore your accounts after a fiscal year.

Howling curse - cast ethereal bills and cheques at your opponents and watch as they lose their posessions.
level 1: target loses one mobility at random
level 2: target loses immobility at random
level 3: target's wife/husband leaves him/her because of lack of mobilities and immobilities to live on.
level 4: target loses in the court to his/her wife/husband and gets to pay horrifying alliments forever.

Aura of banking - a bright, smart bunch of bank clerks protect the caster from all forms of economical attacks.

Fade from town - a powerful and useful villa in Switzerland, hiding in which will leave your debt-owners bemused.
Level 1: when activated, money is consumed at 1000 bucks a day(netto).

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path: Powers of Marketing

Telekinesis - discover the power to manipulate workers and send memos at a distance.
level 1: objects must be within 3 cubicles from the caster.

Advert discs - three vicious "Divine Divinity" promo' CDs bristling with adverts and pop-up banners, spiral outwards of the caster striking the unexpecting potential purchasers within range.

Pollymorph - transform your opponent into a harmless customer ready for marketing.
level 1: target must have at least 25% economy resist, or be turned into an old lady who has just received her pension.

Limbs of lead - Once cast, the smart-guy customers, who try to sneak out of your marketing range, are slowed down, and offered T-shirts and other gadgets that generally come for free, and told- today there's a special 200% raise, it's a BARGAIN!

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path: Powers too dreadful to mention*

*(not available in the demo version!)

Divinity help desk - Cast your opponent into the realm without a way back - "the Divinity Help Desk" universe, where not one of his/her questions will be answered, and his/her frustration will lead to a suicide or a genocide. Only works on morons and munchkins.

Summon The Bean - Summon a dreadful and powerful jester, who will cause the target die from laughter.
MANA COST: 10.000 (you have to cheat to get him into business)

The Guarding Secretary - Summon a powerful woman to call off your meetings, slow down the guests or block the incoming fiscal controls.

level 1: Summon a young attractive dummy(some extra bonuses INCLUDED!!!-never visit Magdalena again).
level 2: Summon a roaring 30's lady, that will spend a lot of time on her hygiene and questioning you about whether she is fat).
level 3: Summon a spinster (your computer might crash if you are operating Windows, the burocracy level is WAY too high for the FAT or NTFS file systems)

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/exclamation.gif" alt="" />The Giant Kirills Flood - call to the netherlands and pray he will wake up to answer...otherwise, a giant flood will consume the land, causing havoc and destruction amongst your friends and foes.
tip: use empty honey jar to keep breathing. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

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all avatars are property of their respectful owners;) no offence meant, the Bean, I hope? ;-)