Larian Studios Forums General Chat The Adorant

No one's asking you to insert gratuitous kung-fu fighting and swordplay, I'm sure. I enjoy good dialogue as much as the next person, when the dialogue reveals something about the characters, the plot, or is spiced up with wit, bantering, or intrigues. As it is, however, there's no tension as a backdrop for the conversation between the goddess and the Adorant at all. It's so deadpanned, and there's no hook to draw my interest in.



Nevertheless, a passive male is what you got. As for the goddess? She's just childish, and doesn't even remotely seem divine to me. Reminds me a bit of Ed Greenwood's and his Seven Sisters, really.



Exactly why I said it comes across as didactic. IMO, if the author is consciously putting in some kind of theme or symbolism, the end result is almost always like that, or even worse, flat out pretentious -- the story should be able to stand on its own as a story, not an outlet for the author's wish to preach. It's also a lot more long-winded than it needs to be; cut out the redundant descriptions, and the story would be about half its current length, if that. Brevity is always the key.



...I rather fail to see how thinking of it as a painting makes it any different. A story with vivid imagery, metaphors, similes and interesting diction would be like a nice painting, sure, but...