Larian Studios Forums General Chat The Adorant

Quotation from pararival about my writing in the German language section :

"... And I'm trying to tell him for years now that he must not put blanks before punktiation signs ..." <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />

It's just my hapit to put sometimes blanks before or after punktiation or other signs (question marks, exclamtion marks and so on).

I know that this is not correct but I do it anyway - out of a feeling. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />

By the way :



Why does it need to incvolve brutality ? Why has it to be brutal anyway ?

Al do you really want an answer to that question or it is just a rhetorical one?

Truth/honesty - or what some people believe this to be in a subjective way, can be used as a weapon. Same goes for jokes - a common approach for passive-aggressive behaviour, leaving the sender a safe backdoor to retreat and say: "I only told the truth, I only made a joke, I was simply honest" wide eyed innocence in body language should be included, a hurt look would be advisable. For someone being a master in feigned "sincere communication" - a smug expression should be avoided - at least as long the "victim" can view it.

This leaves the "victim" in a lose-lose situation, see? Communication is like chess - you can pretend to play according to the rules - and still be unfair without paying a price. Well, there is a price though, sincerity, fairness, close communication goes down the drain. Sad, hm? Well, about 80% of communication goes this ritualised way; exceptions are robot like convos, by passing on mere info - why? Has to do with lacking self-awareness about one's own real intention (for sender and address). There are more reasons, but this would turn out into a veeeeeery long post.
Kiya

I agree Kiya. I only want to add or note that this does not happen when this truth you mentioned is told by a child. Children do not think to leave a "back door" when they speak their truths. They just do it. Perhaps because they know no other way. Personally I listen to their truth very carefully. And I think that this truth is spoken with the most sincere intentions. This is of course only my personal opoinion and experience.

The same can be asked of the so-called "victim": why ask for something you do not want or cannot really accept? Why ignore warnings? Isn't it self-delusion on the count of thinking oneself "tougher" than one really is?

Come to think of it, there was someone who said, "Remove all the warning labels, and let the problem take care of itself."

Pssst. Why do I bother? This can only get petty and pettier, as many posts have already proven. The level of mud-slinging, though attempts have been made to veil it, is about as subtle and sophisticated as a barbarian invasion anyway. Rather reminescent of an all-girls school I used to attend, really.

The key is emotional intelligence, Winterfox - and has nothing to do with cold intellectualism or a high IQ: to understand a message as it was sent and take the same level as an answer.


Correct, I gather you are an expert in detecting this.
Kiya

Oh, yes. As I said, all-girls school. Little girls -- my wee young self included, at the time -- would think they are infinitely creative, subtle and clever when making those little innocent remarks. When asked face-to-face, they'd tell you, "Oh, but I didn't mean her!" Some of them would actually fool themselves into believing that they are riding moral high-horse, too.

I don´t believe that all of them would be like that Winterfox.

I agree <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" /> - a stupid game, hm? On the other hand, quite an entertaining game for some, to structure pseudo-conversation. But it tends to get boring after some while - at least for me. I think, if more people would be aware of this seesaw game they are playing (one up, one down) - others would not need to use these instruments to display it. (Eric Berne: Games people play) => quite entertaining.
Kiya

Not all, perhaps, but I don't glamourize little girls. Most of them are not sweet, innocent, or remotely cute; many learn the art of back-stabbing, cattiness, and general viciousness at a young age (and carry on right into puberty and adulthood). Little girls are easily one of the most vicious animals in the world.

True. But sometimes. If you are refering to certain age then my opinion is that children behave they way you teach them. If those girls grow up in an environment (school included) that they have to grow those characteristics, they will do it. And pretty well if I may say so. And this is where the "hard work" a parent must do begins.

A lot has to do with socialisation and gender role - girls are not encouraged to carry out aggressions in an open way - as little boys (still) are. Gender role as a prison plays a terrible role - not only parents, teachers or other adults - all those, who never questioned themselves, but "grew" into a role and are not aware of this, are parts of this "gender conspiracy".

So, no chance to change? There is - but it requires a lot of work, self-awareness, self-retroperspective. And one question then still remains: "DO I want to change - or DO I prefer to take up/keep and pass on this unhealthy form of behaviour?" Even if this person, fully aware of all consequences, chooses the latter as main approach towards world => she/he should then be willing to pay the price => getting back a taste of own medicine. And yes => at this point, the game starts again, sincere approach becomes very very difficult. Weapons are sharpened, barricades set up, oil is cooking, Pyrrhus comes.

BTW, young males are not better - they only choose to use their fists to create black eyes or bruises, is there a difference? Girls use their verbal weapons, as we are encouraged to be soooooo social, cute and whatsoever. C.G. Jung says this: there is a male and a female part within ourselves (anima/animus), neglecting/imprisoning one of it and letting only the other one act => not good, causes inner/outer harm.

I wish, parents would reflect on this or teachers. Wish psychology would not be so abstract in school lessons.

Quite, I went to a mixed boarding school but lived for two years in an all female boarding house *shivers*.

Children's behaviour is largely instinctive. Young males try to improve their position amongst their peers by physical dominance - whether through sport, fighting, or other acts of physical prowess. Young women try to improve their position through acts of communication - often, though not always, by verbally savaging their rivals.

Behavioural patterns amongst the two sexes are dissimilar, but the intent is the same - to create for themselves a strong position amongst their peers by proving the strength of their own abilities in the area most respected by their peers.

I must confess, it is quite annoying to give a critique and then have the author claim 'style' or literary license as a way to hold on to the poor habits they've developed. However, let's keep in mind where we are. This is a site for gamers and we happen to be fortunate enough to have a small section here where we can talk about anything under the sun. And because this is not a writer's site, many of the people here have never seen what goes into the art of critiquing. What the average person may perceive as 'harsh', is exactly the kind of feedback one receives (hopefully) at a good writer's site. And lord knows, if you do receive this type of advice from a publisher, frame it - it's priceless.

In other words, Winterfox's comments on The Adorant were all sound. She was spot-on with her advice. However, if you've never been to a writer's site or are not familiar with the craft of writing and critiquing, her review may appear harsh to the untrained eye. However, that said, WF's style is quite different from the way I (or anyone else, for that matter) critique another's work. And, that's as it should be.

Yes, there was room for WF to sugarcoat her words, but she didn't. That's her style (and it's totally acceptable). But this whole discussion has turned into picking apart personalities. There is room enough for everyone. This particular forum would be absolutely boring if we didn't have the great mix of personalities that we do now. If you don't like someone's behavior, that's your prerogative but for heaven sake, let's not degenerate into a mudslinging contest just to prove a point. All points made within this thread have been heard and are valid. If you disagree with someone, don't think your sage advice, or pearls of wisdom will change another person. We are who we are. I'm not about to instantly change for anyone here and I expect that everyone else feels the same. Any metamorphose to my character will happen over time and be the result of many outside influences.

Well, for what it's worth, I like this site and the people in it - just the way they are. Warts and all. We all have room for improvement.

*steps off soap box* End of rant.


Faralas <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mage.gif" alt="" />

I'm still wondering ...

I've grown bad habits ...

I'm not a writer but a dabbler with words ...

I'm not writing, I'm scribbling words together like a broken child ...

I admit that I have problems with my self-confidence. It was already visible to those who can read between the lines.

I don’t know how to write correctly. I do not know how to write like professionals do. I do not know how to write like writers do. I do not know how to write at all.

Who am I ?

I’ve got to chance my habits. I’ve got to chance my bad habits. I’ve got to chance my style. I’ve got to chance everything I used to write.

I’ve got to learn. I’ve got to listen. I’ve got to learn how to write. I’ve got to learn to listen how to write. I’ve got to chance my self.

I have no style. I have no good writing. I have no experience in writing. I have no reason to be good at all.

Who am I ?

I must take those advices. I must heed these advices. I must listen to the counsel. I must chance my writing.

Why did I began writing at all ? Me - who is a bad writer. Me - who will never be a good writer. Me - who will never suceed. Me - who will never create stories that are perfect.

Only perfect stories are good. Only perfect stories are good enough. Only perfect stories will be without criticism. Only perfect stories will make me free.

I want to be free. I want to be free to write like I want. I want to be free from criticiism. I want to be perfect.

I must perfect to be free. I must be perfect to be good. I must be perfect to be standing above it all. I must be perfect if I don’t want to have to heed the critics.

I have no self-consciousness. I have no self-esteem. I have no faith in myself. I have no trust in my self. I don’t know how or who I am.

I must grow skin - like a mussel that grows a Pearl - like a mussel that conceals a grain of sand inside a pearl in order not to be hurt from the inside. I must grow a pearl from my shattered glass I still carry in my in side ... I must grow a skin of a pearl in order to conceal the broken glass I still carry in my soul. I must grow a pearl from the fear to be hurt from the inside.

My self-esteem was early shattered into tiny, sharp pieces of glass - I still carry them inside my soul - I must grow skin - or transform them - because I must keep them from hurting me from the inside - like sharp broken glass lies in the inside - forcing me to bleed from the inside - every time I am hurt on the inside - like bleeding glass lying in a wound - like a glass forcing me to bleed from the inside - scattered in an un-healed wound. I must heal my wound. I would have died. My soul is fractioned. I am bleeding. Every time someone hits me. The shattered glass thrusts itself into my heart. I must bleed. I will be bleeding. Until I’m gone.

I’m looking for healing. I’m looking for peace. I’m looking for freedom. All of my liife.

Now, I’m localizing the pieces. I must carry them away. My hands will bleed while carying the glass - but it will be the last time. I am ready to carry them away. I am ready now to carry them into their own grave. My self-esteem is no more. I must rebuild my inner self. I must reconstruct my self-consciousness. I must re-construct my self-confidence. I must re-construct my self-esteem. I must heal my soul.

Now I’m at the End. Now I’m at the Beginning. Now I am at the beginning of a new age. I must return to my self. I must re-turn to my inner self again. To re-gain consciousness. To re-gain self-consciousness. To re-gain self-confidence. To regain self-esteem.

Who am I ?

Lucretia said:



From seven, but anything as early as five, well into thirteen or sixteen. To be frank, the environment in question is the society in general. In kindergarten they'd squabble over crayons; in elementary school they'd squabble over any number of things, or compete because of grades, and so on and so forth. As teenagers, there are popularity contests.

Kiya said:



Bingo. Change this -- change the whole outlook of mass populations and change ingrained pre-conceptions -- and perhaps there'll be results. Until then, I'll just shrug and say "Eh."

There's a reason I dislike children. They're cute to look at from afar, but expose me to one within five-meters radius for any extended period of time, and I'll be feeling homicidal urges.

Faralas said:



Precisely. I don't know what's with online discussions, but if anything remotely resembling an argument occurs, things almost always degenerate into psychoanalyzing ("Look, this person must have no life and suffer from inferiority/Oedipus/Lolita/whathaveyou complex" is a common one) and taking jabs at people's characters. Most people who do this aren't particularly knowledgeable where psychology is concerned, anyway.

wow. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> of a speechless kind.

kiya, winterfox, lucretia, faralas, [elliot kane?] (feel free to shoot me after this post but enlighten this amoeba; are u a dude or a dudette?); amazing.

u're all amazing women. had it been elsewhere or some other women, this would turn out to be a vicious catfight.

spick won't be going out to enjoy the sun in greece, morbo won't do his homework, womble won't go to the lab for work & i will have to buy a lot of drinks & popcorn to watch this phenomenal larian mud wrestling. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" />

seriously, the drawn out ping-pong session isn't in vain. we get to learn from one another each person's value system & to certain extent, personality.

for those who aren't comfortable with winterfox's way of saying things; i have to say it's just her way though it may not be all fluff & padded so it won't hurt. i think she's a firm believer of 'truth hurts'. i am as well. otherwise i'll still be in denial since teenage years. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

of course some may say that there are better way of saying things but heck, since this is a multi-national multi-racial forum, who's to say that my values are right & yours is wrong? each culture has different beliefs & values & ways in doing things in whatever situation. european values may emphasise on being diplomatic when saying something but asians are very subtle when conveying; very much like how winterfox said it about all-girls school. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" /> if u don't get it, then u never will. otherwise, asians can be very very very harsh in telling truths. we don't pad it, we don't sugar-coat it; it's like getting spanked with split cane (u'll bleed most of the time). but the essence is that the truth is told & lesson learnt. well that sounds like ancient chinese torture but similar forms of 'truth telling' still exist.

i do find it is still necesarry in certain cases; it's like a wake-up call. as how americans put it; some people have to learn things the hard way. i'm one of them. imagine going through hell just to learn that there are easier ways. if only i asked! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />

oh man, i'm way off-topic.

alrik, that post of yours; is it another work of yours or is it some kind of confession? i hope that's not u in the description. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/disagree.gif" alt="" /> i used to be like that. a failed perfectionist.

alrik, u got to wake up. nobody's perfect per se. not ever. but it's no excuse to throw your passion of writing away. keep it up & keep it going. don't let winterfox get u down. don't let kiya or luc comfort u forever by saying that they'll keep on reading your work. don't get stuck in the comfort zone, that's what i'm saying. if u want to grow new teeth, u have to get rid of the old ones.

don't wallow, alrik, don't u dare. i expect u to have some ideas written down for your new story.

if i'm wrong, just shoot me. *stretching hands out in surrender*

Don't let Illyana fool ya (She's my avatar girly). I am actually a guy <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> The others ARE all ladies though <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Aha, so I was right. Let's all shoot Janggut. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />