Thanks for the support everyone, and you are all right, I had forgotten a lot of what I have learnt in the last three years due to self pity. I did not mean to sound like I was putting myself down that much, was not in a good mood when I wrote it.
Perhaps if you're strong enough now - you can write him and tell him (if he's old enough) why you aren't in his life right now? Again if you're strong enough - maybe you could write him a letter once every two weeks? Or even once a month? Baby steps - but very important ones.
DQueene, thank you. I needed to be reminded of that yet again. The people that I have in my life now that are helping me with my sobriety have told me that for nearly three years, yet some how I tend to forget that I will always be my sons father no matter what. I do need to explain more in detail as to what happen between his mother and I, especially now that he is 11 years old. I don't even expect anything from him except that he grow up to be HIMSELF and be happy, even if he could not forgive, this is all I want for him.(I believe that one day he will forgive tho). And no you do not sound preachey.
