Once upon a freezing glacier was a beautiful babe who was called by the people: Waynetta the hideous, which was strange because of the rather large wart on her schnozzer, and every day it would glow and everybody hated that women. Well at least she had to be completly crazy in everyone else's eyes but she loved to be loved, to actually do situps and pushups, grunting and wheezing, and somewhat pleasing people that heard the loud grunts and groans, and ceiling plaster falling on her naked body would say "Eww, that's gross and disgusting." That great big thingy had a sister who took her food without her consent. This made Waynetta very jealous and her head exploded and everyone cheered.
"Did you see about 17 times how Waynetta's head fragmented into space?" and everybody said "That was cool!" Then a fat newfie came over, and said "YEHAWWWWWWW!" riding high on the local donkey that had 7... but forget that.
More important issues such as the death & taxes of the kingdom of the good ol' Duke of York who had ten big fat juicy fingers on his 2 hands, but not a cent on his VISA or saving account, but then maybe he ate to live. His nemesis was the only source to have the sword of insane fiery burning in his scabbard. His shield was only at 20%. Waynetta quickly pulled on the lever and looked the part that she has lost before her head exploded. Then a strange new head appeared, that was a fruit shaped thing. Then the bees came and attacked and a bear ran away stupidly. Reluctantly they stopped to admire what the heck the countryside was offering, and ate frogs and got warts. So anyway, the warts never healed.
A new race was emerging from an advertising campaign. They were called The Strongbow Cult, and their leader, a large octopus eater, was called Peg Leg Greg because of his long index finger, Pulling yer leg off to work moaned the Orc that always used to be green and awfully ugly. This race had gone on for exactly eight seconds and 45 nanoseconds and became extinct and reborn again as purple roosters and dancing turds. Well that race likes pie and shiskabobs so they made a mint nuclear-acidic one. It tasted heinous, grotesque and slightly better than expected. But on the back of pygmies, one isn't fussed.
"How many skulls can you see?" "Three" said the short, blind mute who could speak fluent garbled mumblings. "ppmmmmpmpmffpppmfm pppppf fmmmpppppfmmmpp. Bless you, that have a spoon in yer gob with some sugar and honey." Then came the bees with big knees and some cheese and chocolate kettles for the party. "Tea" that is. And guess which idiot brought the instant canistrum multiplier? Mr Whippy! He thought he could instantly multiply canistrums and WHIP IT very fast with a shovel and a Rastifarian wig. He laughed uproariously at the huge...
knees and kettles
Drink Up Ye Cider. 
