Larian Studios Forums General Chat Chat (Anything) A question for the womenfolk.

@ mickey: Maybe she heard something bad about you behind your back.
Some bad gossip or something..
I've seen it happen, hell, I even experienced it myself, that a very good girlfriend of mine, became pissed aat me for no obvious reason..
It turned out that someone had been talking b*llshit about me, like that I was saying bad things about her...

You could do some recearch..

I really believe in the confrontasion thing. The reason..

Becouse when you have anger locked up inside you, and dont confront it, it will be there even if you are not mad anymore.. So the problem then is that for every time you get one of these "lockups" the feeling that this isnt the right girl/boy for you are getting bigger.. I am not saying that this is the only reason for that feeling,but it is garanteed a big part of the issue..So, I I personally think that by confronting it at once you can have a much better and loving relasionship.. And isnt that what we are all looking for??

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/offtopic.gif" alt="" /> And for the record, i know i am not a woman.. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Just had to speak my mind here.. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I hope you can understand my english, isn't the best, didn't spoken and wrote it for round about 9 years. If you find mistakes, feel free to revise me.
[/offtopic]

Hmm, its difficult to say for me. In the most cases i prefer to say, what's wrong with me and what i mean of the concerned person.
But sometimes, i'm not able to do this. It's mostly, if i dont know the person really good (i.e. a colleague of me, i never spoken with, except Good morning...). Then i really don't know how to say it. Should i go to him and say him exact what i think of him? Ok, that is the honest way (and i try to be always honest if possible), but a hard one too. I'm trained in diplomacy, but sometimes i can't say things in a roundabout way and then i go to avoid any future contact with this person.

In my opinion my behaviour depend on three things: the size of the breach, the "knowlegdement" of the concerned person and the ability to speak with the person face-to-face (cooperativeness).

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/offtopic.gif" alt="" />
Welcome to the english forum Rashida

At the beginning, i was afraid to write in this forum. I thought that everybody will laugh about my bad english.
But all the people are very nice here. No one laugh when i make a spelling mistake (except Alrik and Jurak <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/badsmile2.gif" alt="" />).
There are not a lot of female members, so please come again to visit us.

Barta

EDIT :
@ Alrik and Jurak
I was joking, because sometimes you make jokes with my mistakes.
The last one was about "lockpits".

@Jurak...did you actually say "that frosts my socks" or was I hallucinating? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ouch.gif" alt="" />

@Lucretia Its been my experience that it is always "impossible for you to keep your mouth shut" even if you arent angry....*giggles* <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

I called, but she didn't answer her phone. When I went down to the apartment to drop her roommate's keys off (I figured she'd want them back) she shut herself in her room and wouldn't come out.



If that's true, that's really going to piss me off. If she's mad at me because of secondhand or third hand knowledge, that is just wrong. If you hear something bad about someone, you should ask them about it.

For me, gossip is false by default.



You guys shouldn't worry about your bad english. Everyone here but me has bad english

I'm joking guys, don't start making the noose and getting the lynch mob ready. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Send her a letter or a mail to explain her what you are feeling and ask her why she does not want to talk to you.
If she does not answer, ask to her roommate or one of her best friend why she left you.
Maybe there is a misunderstanding but maybe also she has met someone else or she is a girl without a heart. (Yes it does exist !).

If there is nothing to do, i hope that you will forget very soon this girl and meet a new one.

Barta

I already did that on Friday. I slipped a note under her door on my way to work saying just that. The roommate confirned that she got the letter.



I did ask the roommate, who is also her best friend, about it yesterday, which is why I know for sure she's mad at me. All i got out of the roommate was "Yeah, she's ticked at you." She didn't want to say anything more, because she didn't feel it was her place to go into detail, and she's right. It's not her place.



I doubt she met someone else. After all, she just broke up with her boyfriend a couple weeks ago and that's not really not a good reason for her to be mad at me.

As for the no heart part, I can't believe that. Not after what I have already seen and learned about her.



I doubt that since the only time I really leave is to go to work or the store. Don't really go out that much.

Barta [/quote]

@ Nero forgive me if I got that wrong but was it an insult?
Because if it was, you don't personally know me to have any experience about me and my mouth thank you.

@Luc: No Nero, didn´t want to insult you, he just made a joke about you.

His sentence means that you talk a lot here even if you aren´t angry. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/idea.gif" alt="" />

Edit: I think he could say this about me... (1200+ posts in half a year... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/stupid.gif" alt="" />)

@ Bernhard I understood what he wrote but thnx you explained that to me. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/kissyou.gif" alt="" />

But still this is an insult as far as I am concerned. After all I am here to talk and as long as I respect all the members here and the rules of the board no one can judge if I talk too much or not. Humor can be an insult you know if you are not careful to what you say to people.

Mick sorry about the off topic.

I am out of here.

Erm, Don't worry about the offtopic posts in my threads, guys. I don't care if people start discussing the mating habits of mexican jumping beans or why there's no polar bears in California in my threads.

Anyone can discuss anything in my threads as far as I'm concerned. I won't care.

@ LUCRETIA

Don't be too angry about NeroJB.

Like Bernhard said, he just wanted to make a joke about you.
As he quote your own words, it's looks very agressive and insulting.
I understand that you felt bad reading his post.
We all try to make jokes to keep the forum funny but it's very difficult to make good jokes.

You don't talk too much, it's nice to come in the forum and see that there are a lot of new posts to read.

As i am off topic, i will say again to Alrik and Jurak that what i wrote was not serious.

Barta

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/offtopic.gif" alt="" />


ROFL.. That is probably the funniest sentence i have heard in my entire lifetime.. he he he.. Thank you for a good laugh( or how its spelled)..
he he.. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />

@ mickey, I think it's about time that you go for the confrontation.
She can't avoid you for a lifetime, and if it was a really good friend, she doesn't want to avoid you forever.

and about the gossip: It might look stupid, but it does happen: If you hear thjat a really close friend has said something stupid about you, your first reaction is an angry one.

At last, all the girls I know tend to get quite pissed when something like that happens to them, and most of the time they won't even bother asking in the first place...


@ all the females: This is no offence to woman in general, I am just saying that it could be <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/kissyou.gif" alt="" />

Hello, I'm really late here ! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

In my case - it depends.

I can be *very* patient, and it takes a *long* time until I'm *rreally* mad. But when this border is been trespassed, then I'm *very* angry ! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/exclamation.gif" alt="" /> I don't think you'll ever witness this on this board. It could be dangerous. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/badsmile2.gif" alt="" />


Apart from that I'm often using the non-confrontation way. Especially when I feel heavily insulted or offended (is there a difference betwen the two words ?). Then I might say NOTHING AT ALL to the particular person for a day or even two (three is extremely rare).


Well, all in all it depends ...

I am going to call her in a few days if I don't hear from her, but considering a few other circumstances in her life right now, I'm just going to let her be.



Actually, when someone tells me something that someone else said my reaction is to shrug and say, "No offense, but that's secondhand knowledge. so I don't believe it by default."

I'll end up asking the person if they said that, but I won't be mad about it.

Luc...
It is all good...Nero meant no offensice (that is what this was for... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> he meant he was joking)
In all honesty, maybe a little comic relief of our very deep thread... (Like Shakespeare always has in his dramas, things that make you laugh...or in LOTR between Legolas and Gimmli at very emotional times...)

Hi Mickey
Maybe you have done or said something which looks not important for you but very important for her.
Maybe you have made a joke and she thought that it was serious.
Maybe a girl who is secretely in love with you told her that you were already engaged with someone else.
Maybe, maybe, maybe.......


That's true for a lot of people but sometimes we believe the bad things or at least we have a doubt.

In a few days, you could send her a nice letter to tell her that you have probably done or said something wrong and you don't know what.
Tell her that you are really sorry for that.
Tell her that you still love her and that she is very important for you.
Tell her that you will be patient and wait until she is not mad at you.
If she likes flowers, give her some flowers (not a lot) with the letter.

It was my last advice. I wish that things will be better for you.

Barta

To be honest Barta, I hadn't seen the girl in about two and a half weeks because she had to go away for a bit. When she elft everythign was fine, but when she came back, it wasn't. I talked to her maybe twice while she was gone and the only joke I made about her was a qucik comment about her not being tall enough to see inside the freezer.



She should know better for two reasons:

1) I'm not exactly a ladykiller. I don't have girls vying for my attention, and I never have. The last time I had a girfriend was never. She knows this.

2) We're just friends, and even if some other girl did like me, she shouldn't be mad at me for that. If she does like me as more thana friend, she should do something about it, besides get mad if she thinks she has some sort of competition, which she doesn't.



I am planningon calling her, but I can't tell her that I love her, because I don't. We're just friends, and nothing more.



Thanks. Me, too.