When you get mad at a guy, whether it's a friend or someone your dating or even married to, which road to you take? Avoidance or confrontation?
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I usually take the confrontation road for several reasons. First of all I am a person that can not keep things bottled in me. When something is wrong I need to talk about it. I can not let it spoil all my days by letting it eating me inside. If you come to think about it I am a bit selfish. Because I am thinking of myself in that matter. Secondly I strongly believe that language is a gift. I mean why do we have it? For comunication it is my answer. So I tend to use it a lot. I need to comunicate with people around me. To solve things and share. I need to comunicate with all of my body. (Body language is as much important as talking IMHO).
I also have that red head temper Carrie mentioned so it is imposible for me to keep my mouth shut when something bothers me.
But ...
... What really makes me mad is when I talk to the person that made me mad, and it is like I am talking to a wall. Now correct me if I am wrong. Maybe I have met the wrong guys but I have noticed that not all the men (and I am talking about lovers here), are willing to talk. I have experienced many times that thing where there is a problem and my mate behaves like nothing is wrong. And it is not that he is not aware that I am mad. I can not hide. I hate it when it happens! It seems like the other person is telling me "I know that you are mad but the reasons you feel that way are silly. I will wait till you get over it." While at the same time I want to fight, I want to express myself and then end up in bed.
And there is the other thing. In all my life I have never met someone who would say the magic words "I want to talk to you." I mean I am not perfect. I sure do mistakes and I am sure that sometimes I made someone mad. Why is it so difficult to come and tell me "you know something? You did this and that and it really bothered me." I always must guess from the behaviour of my mate if there is something wrong and then ask for several times what is the problem before -if I am lucky enough- take some answer. But why it should be that way? Why should I must read the signs which are sometimes invisible?
I always believed that the person I am with is my mirror. My mirror which shows me the real me. Only if he tels me the truth and what I do wrong I can be better for myself and for him.
Boy this is a long post. Sorry people <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shame.gif" alt="" />
