well whatever u do, mick ol' boy, be patient & considerate & sensitive & resourceful in helping your friend through her troubles, even when she doesn't want u around. u're right in looking at yourself first before trying to see what's wrong with her.
i can see that everyone here's so open about themselves, even to strangers as almost all of us here don't know one another in real life. this isn't common for me (being an asian) as the norms of my country, people & race are more reserved. not saying or expressing more than necessary.
ok, sorry for that little detour.