If Corey gives a d*mn at all what the guitar looks like...
I think it's all right, although I do agree on a few points.
A lot of dialogue -- doesn't bother me - most novels have a lot of dialogue - but compared to events and "verbal painting", there's too much. Or in other words, it would be a good idea to add more irrelevant description (and make them relevant with the excuse that you need them to add to the athmosphere, of course <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> ).
Then the characters... I agree with WinterFox there -- I don't feel like I "know" any of the characters, not even Corey after spending eight chapters with the guy. How well do YOU know Corey, Mickey?
As I said, it's all right in my opinion. I did afterall read through it, and I liked reading it, although I have no clue why. IS it going anywhere? I like the comfort of knowing that a published book will eventually, probably go somewhere. This story better goes somewhere too! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/think.gif" alt="" />
Aside from that, your "columns" are pretty good Mickey. Got any more coming up? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
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