I'bve had one very strange incident which I still cannot understand.
It was during my training and we (or class) had to prepare and perform a presentation.
I did mine, and received critics.
However, what I still don't understand - and tht has nothing to do with "skin" or not - was my reaction towards that. I feeled that I had failed.
The only expression I've comme across in the internet to describe what I did is "to freak out". I still don't understand why I had the feeling as if this critic was hitting me to the core , and yes : I definitively mean core. I still don't understand why I reacted so intensively towards relatively rational, unemotional and understandable critics.
I still don't understand or know why I felt this way - being hit so deep - and reconstructing the thing in order to find a clue proved more or less pointless.
The only possible clue I have is that there was no positive criticism (right spelled ?) , but I still don't know.
My feeling was not only that I had failed, by that my work, and everything, including my life, was totally pointless. Being already "hardened" at that point, I could overcome it during several days, otherwise I just would've jumped off the next bridge.
This is no joke ! I *really* felt that at this point !
I still fear that I might have the same strange thing happening to me. And remembering the intense hurting I wouldn't be able to say whether I would really jump off the next bridge or not.
I still don't know what had hurt me so intensively deep; but I fear to re-life this feeling again.
I can deal with critics, okay, but I still cannot say what might be triggered within me when I read them.
That's my story.
Alrik.
