Winterfox - a post does not only contain mere info, but the way it is phrased, implements a non-verbal message, targeting emotions. This goes for the written and the spoken word as well.
I suppose it's the same reason game reviewers who point out perfectly reasonable flaws of a game get flamed. (Because said game, in the fan's eye, is perfect and the mere thought of a flaw is blasphemous! Oh no!)
this one is a very good example to explain what I mean =>
1.: where is your main impact? Words or tone? Why? Because a flaw in the eye of one gamer, might be fun for the other. Sentences used in the form of statements, instead of stating clearly the own subjective point of view tend to be taken as an insult or patronage, thus triggering emotions instead of brains. (Referring to your remarks in brackets)
2.: Veiled messages. Using an information to transport an undercover non-verbal message, turns into a lose-lose ego-battle strategy. Sender sends veiled message, reader/listener responds to the non-verbal one. Sender insists on written/spoken word - the other part still stresses the impact, the veiled message has.
Paul Watzlawick may be available in your country or Schulz von Thun? Both authors wrote about communication psychology.
Watzlawick (from amazon.com):
The Situation Is Hopeless, but Not Serious (The Pursuit of Unhappiness)
How Real Is Real?
Pragmatics of Human Communication: A Study of Interactional Patterns, Pathologies, and Paradoxes
Ultra-Solutions: How to Fail Most Successfully
sadly, Schulz von Thun seems only available on the German market.
Another book, dealing with human interaction is:
Eric Berne: Games people play: The basic handbook of transactional analysis. => it lists transactional analytic "games" people use to misunderstand each other, specializes on the ways how to use phrases/behaviour as a destructive form of interaction - ritualised and tending to cause frustration, as all parties take fun in putting each other down, by mixing up verbal/non-verbal messages - a method mainly caused by own passive-aggressive behaviour and the inability to show inner/outer clarity. (and it's GREAT fun, to use this knowledge in detecting other people play games <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/devil.gif" alt="" /> )
Eric Berne: Beyond Games and Scripts => for those wishing clear and honest interaction and being able to choose, which form the other has and how to respond - either by boiling up aggression or starting genuine communication. Or at least to know, which price the sender/listener is willing to pay, if he chooses the one or other level).
Thomas Harris: I'm OK-You're OK => popular psychology to explain human interaction via Transactional Analysis, depending on your own view of life and life pattern.
Kiya
