it would cause an uproar of laughter. if only i am an ordinary being in an ordinary circumstance.

events occur. things happen. words spoken. none can be taken back.

once i had been a young one, frolicking & in love with the environment i was born in. my parents were shapers of my being. my .... previous form.

how far have i been removed from them. them being my parents, my loved environment, my loved .... . as much as i want to, i no longer can ..... nor do i care to connect to the emotions that tie me to the memories.

what would i be now had i not take that step? to be who i am now? to act as how i did & not otherwise?

my home razed. the environment violently changed. the world as i knew when young; morphed into what it is now.

i no longer can associate whatever i know now with what existed before. before it happened.

before i took the decision to pay heed to the sudden grasp of thought that ruled my mind to ...... .

i can imagine all the consequences of 'what have been' or 'otherwise' but it won't change anything. amuse me it will but the outcome as i know it will remain the same.

i, destroyer of worlds, & the voice of antu within the core of my mind, will continue my course of reforming the verses & dimensions & planes. this thought; a prelude; shall continue later.

*imagining a thought of a madman*

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......a gift from LaFille......