Larian Studios Forums General Chat The self-confidence thread.

yep <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> all the rest you can finger, after they've walked by! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/stupid.gif" alt="" /> kidding of course. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

If I may admend that slightly....

Smile at strangers...Of the opposite sex only! Guys smiling at guys causes street fights and the occasional 'what you ****ing looking at!'

Well, for starters, you could stop showing your works to people who make a point to just point out the bad stuff and show it to some people who will not only help you point out the bad stuff but will help you figure out how to fix and improve things.

Also, kicking the shins of the people who do nothing but look down on you is a good way to relieve stress.

I nod politely to the guys. That way it's more of a greeting than a show of interest. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

if i may add, HEF, smile & nod. always work for me. if the other person won't reciprocate, well, i won't let it ruin my day.

one of the many things i learn; control your environment or be controlled by it.

environment can be emotions, thoughts, people's behaviour towards u or your ideas, etc.

plowking, i hope u won't punch at me for smiling at u, if i ever go to ireland for a holiday. u can see bangladesh men holding hands but they're far from being gay. it's just a norm for them. so start holding hands! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/silly.gif" alt="" />

Hand holding wouldn't be so bad if it didn't involve touching.

Not at all...I wouldn't dream of hitting anyone for smiling at me!! Bloke or not! Do draw the line at the hand-holding though...

Still, there's lot of dodgy types out there who would punch back!

Thing is, if you nod towards someone, they instantly think you know them, but then they don't know you. So you get a puzzled reaction from them more than anything. Most people would probably nod back, thinking you know them, but they just don't remember from where! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

I nod all the time - as I never know if I just missed a greeting from a library member <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" /> - can't keep faces in mind. BUT! Ask me 20 yrs later about a difficult question I solved by giving me a key-word <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/stupid.gif" alt="" />
Kiya <nod-cheater>

BTW, we females seem to be lucky, we can nod+smile at complete strange females and the risk of getting punched is very slim <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />

females in general are more accomodating (in greetings at least) than men. at least that's what i can see here. there are men i know who are S-holes; turning up noses as they pass by as if u are some dirty tissue paper on the floor. females, such as colleagues are much much nicer. there are quite a number that i don't know but have seen their faces a number of times & they always nod & smile at me, even without me initiating the greeting.

holding hands are just an example of being friendly or friends. so if your culture is not inclined to that, it's ok. but let's not knock at those who do. like i said, bangladeshis do that & it's perfectly normal. men kissed at each other in middle east.

one way i know & use to make friends with people that i nod & smile at would be to tell a situational joke (has to be appropriate & funny enough of course). sometimes i am the subject of the joke; just to show them i am humble enough to be anyone's friend & i don't bite.

anybody knows other ways to make friends with those u nod & smile?

Nope. That's the bit I suck at. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/disagree.gif" alt="" />

Buy them a drink.... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wave.gif" alt="" />

I'm very shy - this could be iterpreted as ignorance or unpoliteness ...

I used to be like that, shy I mean...

A simple Hi or hello and smile though now removes the notion of it being ignorance or unpoliteness...and takes no effort, shy or not. (for me)

It's how I beat it, start small.......

Females are excellent. IT if it werent for the males encouraging them to be whores, females would be almost flawless in my mind. (Im a male, a very touchey one at that)

Al, u don't have to be agressively outgoing. i know i'm not. that's why quite a number of people would misinterpret me as being shy, even at the age i am in now. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" /> i'm more of a quiet guuy who will talk only when i have the need to do so. but i'm very talkative especially with friends as i have tons to talk about with them. hobbies, experiences, etc... .

plowking's right. start small. with a smile or a nod. heck, u can even make friends with the grandma who always wait at the same bus stop as u do. that's what i did when i sat in an airplane on my way back from vacation a few months ago. & boy was that a long sentence. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

I dont like making friends its to difficult ot begin and horendus in the end, I guess.. Either way I dont have a choice but spening my life alone.. I got you guys at least.

byblos, if u don't mind me giving u a piece of my mind, i say U are the one who is being difficult & may be horrendous in the end.

why do i say that?

u don't even give the other person a chance. & u're not giving yourself a chance to try either. whatever little chance u have in finding a lifelong friend would just dissipate because of such thoughts.

dude, go break a bone. get yourself cut with a bit of emotional pain. in short; live! life is about hurt but moreover it's also filled with love, only if u want to find it. please give yourself a chance to get at least a great friend for life. & i mean in rel life, not here in the forum. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

I never said theya re hurendous, its the pain of losing them. Ice had very few friends and have lost them all. and it hurts me all the time. BY live my life do you mean go out and drink, party, screw some whores and just live hapilly in sin? Id rather be miserable and alone then that.

and about alife partner I have already given my life to one, and I fera it might be ending, and the way it is. Is this, If this ends I must be alone ofr the rest of my life, because i gave it to her and it is no longer mine to give to anyone else.

Dont be mad at me please..

Not at all! By "live", we mean don't shelter yourself. Keep your morals and your self, but don't hide from what life can offer just incase you fail or just incase it hurts you.


I hear that. I've lost most of my friends. Tom became a masogonistic [nocando]. Paul's girlfriend and my girlfriend had a small legal battle (they were good friends before that). Maja couldn't keep a date to save her life. And there's plenty more. But there are a few people that have always stuck. I met them at completely random times and many of them I'd never have expected to be the friends I'd be with years later. Just keep trying. Most will fail. It's the few survivours that make it worth while.

Honestly, online meeting places are alright for meeting people. I made a lot of friends (though most were temporary) through only one person I met on the 'Net.


This one I know very well too... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/disagree.gif" alt="" /> I realise now that I made one big error (amongst several smaller ones): I gave too much of myself to her. Keep some for yourself or you'll lose yourself, even before she leaves or falls into the same trap. It was torture to get through losing her, but I am still here and happy.


What have we got to be mad with? You're a normal confused human like the rest of us. Just look at me. I think I'm a cat! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/kitty.gif" alt="" />

first thing: i'm not mad at u so please don't feel sad about it, ok? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

secondly: upon death u'll lose all. all except your soul (that also depends on your belief). so the basic fact of life is that gain & loss are what u always face in life; be it friends or money or opportunity or job etc. dude, i'm sure u know all these & u're not without experience, right? the fact that u're here & posting in this forum shows that u're alive, literate, educated, & able to feel emotions, therefore reasons for celebration. byblos, u're among the few on earth who are priviledged!

i was a whiny guy until i went down the pits life always have & learnt how much i have though i lost a lot as well. u can't live counting on losses, bud. life's short. so live every day as if it's your last, & i don't mean getting yourself into orgies & swimming in sins. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

somebody said; don't be sorry for loss, be happy that u went through it.

take hold of your life & what u have, byblos. make them count. live with meaning. if u don't have any, find one. religions do provide that & i know there are more.

wish i can help u more. or know how. but please give yourself a chance to have a better life. for as long as there is tomorrow, there is hope. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

let me tell u a bit of what i have to go through once in a while (which can be monthly, or weekly, or even daily); i suffer from depression & u know it's a feeling of sadness without reason. other than medical, that is. i can feel so happy in a minute & the next, in hell. this is what i have to go through till i die. & almost every one close to me do not understand this. they keep saying it's all in the mind & that i'm just putting too much thought on it. it's not. so should i avoid them because they can't understand me? i'm not so high & mighty to say that they're too shallow so i won't mix with them. in fact, i accept them for who they are, flaws & all .... & live.

LIFE is what has been given to u. what u make of it is LIVING.

@ others -> somebody throw in their experiences please. we need your wisdom. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />