Kiya: The feeling of 'revenge' for physical punishment exists, I've had it before. The thing is it goes away, the 'reason' why you were punished remains to educate you because the punishment was direct and simple. You remember it better than therapy or drugs. Actually because I believe it stimulates an old animal instict within us that will link pain with self-preservation. Making us very wary of doing the same thing again.
Wish for revenge doesn't go away always, Womble. I see this every day in the neighbourhood I live in. Maybe you remember that I take care of stray cats? They were treated cruelly before I moved in here - these kids live on the street after school and seem to enter their flats only for bedtime. My garden is safe for the cats - no one can enter. And still the kids tried to hit them with stones, branches etc. Throwing seemed to be sports for them. I got contact to some - mainly to tell them clearly which consequences were waiting for them if they would continue torturing these cats. With a very few I got so strong contact that they were able to display their world view to me => and it was that of the stronger. "My brother hits me, the older guy hits me - I want to grow up quickly, so I can hit back and then hit the younger." We had a few long chats, I told them my point of view about the violence spiral. These kids live in an environment, where violence is accepted as the right of the stronger one - and they even endanger, by putting large iceblocks on the street and watch cars skidding into it, until I came out and told them to stop, by pointing out the danger. Gee... what did they do? Moved 2 streets further - lesson => "do what you want, but don't get caught".
What punishment could change them? They're used to get bashed, by older, parents etc. Well? Tell me, Womble...
I asked an older female youth, why these kids like to torture and scare the strays (they had killed kittens in a terrible way and threatened an old German lady who wanted to save them with a knife). You know what she said? "Oh, they're just kids, they are curious." She was one of the older in charge of the younger kids here. And I asked her which curiosity she meant - enjoying what pain does to a weaker creature? I asked her, how compassion, empathy and social conscience can develop => she just turned red and stared at me. I came from the Mars planet obviously in her view. Her archaic, Neanderthal clubbing-world was her reality => the world of violence and the right of the stronger.
Punishment? No, sorry, doesn't work. These kids are losers already - and I blame their parents, the school, my township. They already have only a marginal chance to develop. Please, believe me, I don't exaggerate. These are Turkish kids of the 3rd generation, wanderers between 2 cultures, 2 worlds.
Kiya
Maybe you ask, why I still live here? To protect the strays. I can't help these kids - I have no influence.
Oh, you're right about ADD - is a very modern diagnosis here in Germany as well - though Ritalin is discussed and criticised highly (pros/cons). There are interesting theories about the reason why German kids are so unconcentrated, hyper-active and partly violent => some sociologists blame it on the anti-paedagogics era, as these former kids are now the adults of today and parents. These theories say => parents don't want to be adults, but remain in an eternal juvenile state as a partner of the kid. So, no regulations, no rules, no consequences. Some blame it on the fact that both parents work, so no proper taking care of is done. Consumer goods, TV etc. have taken over education and the old school system is not prepared for teaching kids social behaviour. Media saturation leads to this behaviour say others.
