1. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer?
Not if the household has enough money to afford a maid.
2. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?
Depends where the bubbles are on the surface or underwater
3. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
A long time ago, yes
4. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Start Trek, it's subliminal
5. On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message "one slice"? How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to stuff in that slot?
Never seen such toaster before
6. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Strings are cursed
7. Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?
Smart bags <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />
8. How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?
It's a wildlife on its own in there, a whole foodchain of bugs! :o
9. Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?
Nothing dissapears, it only changes in matter
10. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart than apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
He might ram the cart in your face <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />
11. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
The world needs to be in balance.
12. Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
No you pay for your trashed to get picked up if it's closer, you get payed if its further away from the road, silly boy.
13. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
Food, water, complaining, life most important needs.
14. How come we never hear father-in-law jokes?
How come you never hear, sisters-boyfriend jokes?
15. If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?
By all means ask your best friend first.
16. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.
Americans beeing the key-word <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
