Why is adolescent behaviour so difficult for adults?
And why is adult behaviour so inacceptable for adolescents? What are similarities, what is contradictory?
I think we often understand each other quite well, but choose to appear not to! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" />
I think we often exaggerate the lack of understanding. When I see kids behaving in what might seem a weird, stupid or irritating way I don’t usually have much trouble relating it to my own youth. Often I can see a parallel to me right now – I’ve just got a little bit better at modifying my behaviour to suit social expectations!!
As a kid I don’t think I had big trouble understanding the old fogey’s style or logic either – it just didn’t suit me to follow it at the time. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />
As a parent I feel like I have a duty to try and support and understand a young person without necessarily supporting the way they’re behaving (which just like me – then and now - can be pretty stupid at times)
There’s a quote that I like which goes something like this:
"I’m not completely over the hill yet, but let’s just say I have a great view down both sides now…” ('Over the hill' here means ‘too old’, ‘worn out’, etc.).
At 58 I feel like I still have a good view in both directions. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Perhaps I’m just in my ‘second childhood’. (Edit: Third or fourth actually – Mrs Kris)
Here’s another quote:
"The idea that old age brings wisdom is a myth. But by the time you’re old enough to find this out it’s in your own interests to help keep the myth going". <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />
Kid versus Fogey Example:
Last night we went to the airport to pick up my wife who had been to a conference in Sydney. My young son ‘discovered’ the escalators and the pleasure to be had from trying to run down the up elevator! The Fogey in me said "No! Stop! Dangerous! People will stare and look disapproving!".
The Kid in me said "Rubbish, it’s fun – remember!". So we did it for a bit while the escalator was clear – a manic little boy who was laughing too loudly, and an eccentric grey haired old fool who had one slightly nervous eye on the security guards below. We both had fun, and when I said it was time to stop, he accepted without complaint. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shhh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/stupid.gif" alt="" />
