Larian Studios Forums General Chat Chat (Anything) The Argumentative Git thread

To All Those People Who Keep Sending Me Email About The Football/Aphorism Riot

STOP
I will no longer open your messages and I certainly will not post anymore of them here.

Sorry, fellow forum members, but I had to post the above message. I have even begun to receive death threats. Allow me to explain and recount what has happened. These football fans and aphids are crazy, a real bunch of nutcases. I should have realized it when I got that ugly message from Liverpool which was full of bad words, and I never should have reproduced it here in this forum. I'm not going to even attempt to report on all of the hate mail and just plain screwy stuff I am receiving, but allow me to give you a sample of it.

I received one letter complaining that I misrepresented the role of the aphorism in human society, linguistics, and football. I replied to that sender by saying, "Look this is just a forum for a PC game I play. Don't take it so seriously." The sender then sent me a sarcastic response which said, "Aphorum for a PC game! What's the matter? Can't you aphord tickets for a real life game like football?"

Then there was the correspondence from the starting lineup of the European's offense, the famous triple threat of Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe. Their uneducated contention (apparently good football players aren't necessarily that smart) was that they sweat a lot when they play. They therefore experience diaphoresis (diaphoresis means sweating a lot). So far this is all correct, but they then interpreted that to mean that they could die of aphoresis. Aphoresis, as far as I could make out, is a term they coined to mean excessive aphorisms. Somehow, they then went on to use dying of aphoresis as a justification for the riot.

The death threats
If anything happens to me, which you will know by the absence of any future posts on this forum, I want all my forum friends to know who has been sending me death threats and why. My killers will then be brought to justice. Hopefully by posting their names here they won't dare to make any attempt on my life.

Saalt B'cooms, an african from Nigeria

A. Stan Malone, Irish cult worshipper and linguist(I don't know what the "A" stands for.)

Norm Ativpropos E. Shun (short for Shunalakakis, which I didn't write in full as it is too long. Also I am not sure what the "E" stands for either.), a Greek who worships the old Gods


As to why they are sending me death threats, believe it or not, it centers around the ancient Greek deity, Aphrodite.

Stan Malone, who is also a football fan, claims to worship Aphorodite, the Goddess of aphorism. All of his threats are filled with pithy metaphysical sayings like, "He who dies the real death will never have to die again." And sometimes he just uses standalone normative propositions like, "Die." I think he wants to kill me because he feels that I denigrated the aphorism.

Saalt B'Cooms somehow got ahold of my replies to Stan Malone, and took great offense. Although it was Stan who brought up Aphorodite, Saalt blames me for the invocation of a false European imperialist god and states emphatically in his death threats that the only true god is Afrodite. He also rants on and on about how the Europeans stole the African victory in the football game. There is not a single aphorism in his messages, but I believe that he would like to kill me because the Europeans used the aphorism as an excuse to overturn and oppress the Africans.

I won't even discuss the values, judgements and claims made by Norm Ativpropos E. Shun.

Thanks for your support, fellow forum members, and help save me from Saalt B'Cooms A. Stan Malone Norm Ativpropos E. Shun.


Sincerely,
Cleglaw