Ube: Sorry to confuse you a bit. Use 14 DEX if you go with the Barb/Bard/RDD as the barb class will only give you medium armour. I would blow spellcasting out of the window because casting arcane spells in any armour is totally time-consuming. You have to set a hotkey to remove armour and even then you can't do this in combat! I DO do this for pre-casting buffs though.
If you DO want spells then go for maybe even 16 DEX, use the Bard levels to get UMD and get some nifty monk robes for defence. Before level 20 you are going to only have 2 Bard levels though so think about that!
I think this speads you very thin though so bugger it, 6 CHA for a dwarf or Half-Orc. As much in STR/CON as possible and WIS+INT at 10. DEX at 14 for a Half-Orc barb. (Med. armour, usual dex bonus=2) or 12 DEX for a dwarf fighter in heavy armour. (dex bonus=1)
I wouldn't bother blowing a feat on heavy armour for the Barb. If you have a spare one then fine. Mine survived well enough without it.
Remember dev. crit. is your goal and it has a few pre-requisite feats.
Kyra: I've always had monsters make a beeline for me! I use the AI mod I mentioned earlier though. Since I play mostly solo it don't matter so much. Also with some of my sorc chars I WANT the enemy to hit me!
Ahhh the wonders of mestil's acid sheath....
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