Larian Studios Forums General Chat Chat (Anything) Riddles

From the Doug Anthony All Stars (Australian comedy trio):


I cannot see.
I cannot wave.
I'm not a man,
And yet I shave.


This isn't a real riddle. I'll remind you that it was from a comedy trio who had very bad tastes. We had it playing in the car and turned the car off between the riddle and the answer. It had our friend stumped for an hour until we got in the car again. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


<span class='standouttext'>Spoiler : </span><span class='spoiler'>A blind, cripple woman with a hairy back!</span>

Uggh gross riddle - typical All Stars humour. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

My guess was <span class='standouttext'>Spoiler : </span><span class='spoiler'>a woman's armpit </span> so I was vaguely on the right track, but that wouldn't have been quite offensive enough for D.A.A.S. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Of course the answer could just be "a razor". <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Here's another old one. (Geez, why do I only know old riddles?)

What goes up a chimney down, but not down a chimney up?

Hint:

<span class='standouttext'>Spoiler : </span><span class='spoiler'> What could be pushed up a chimney when it (the object) was down, but not pulled down a chimney when it (the object) was put up? </span>

Answer:

<span class='standouttext'>Spoiler : </span><span class='spoiler'> An Ubereil. No, whoops, wrong spelling, an Umbrella. </span>

I like that. I was never sure if there was a real answer. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Booooo <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/down.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/memad.gif" alt="" />! Anyway, my guess was something placed a little lower. Not a left leg, not a right leg, but something in between..... (*choughs nervously and looks over his back with a scared face*)

Anyway, about the thiefquestion, in one of the Amberbooks (by Roger Zelazny (might have been misspelled that...)), I think it is no 5, or maybe 4, the main char (called Corwin) suspects someone is going to assassinate him while he's asleep. Well, he always whanted to die in bed, but he thought more of being cruched by an elephant while he made love to someone...

Übereil

HandEFood you're bad.
You naughty naughty boy.

Why does this not surprise me. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/suspicion.gif" alt="" />

Kyra_Ny <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

A tramp is addicted to nicotine but cannot afford cigarettes.
So he figured out that he can make one cigarette
from seven cigarette ends.
He has 49 cigarette ends.

How Many Cigarettes Can The Tramp Make?


<span class='standouttext'>Spoiler : </span><span class='spoiler'> He can make 8... 7 with the 49, and then 1 more with the 7 ends from the one's he just made. </span>


Kyra_Ny <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> Kyra_NY <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />

Because I listen to D.A.A.S.? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I was able to work that one out from personal experience of something that happened over 50 years. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Here's a story about it:

<span class='standouttext'>Spoiler : </span><span class='spoiler'> In the days before the dangers of cigarettes were widely known, it was quite common practice for working people who "rolled their own" to take their last butt, peel off the paper, and shred the tobacco back into the tin. In this way you never threw any tobacco away. But of course the length that you put back in the tin was absolutely saturated with tars and other nasties.... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/disagree.gif" alt="" />

As a very small boy I had seen our gardener doing this, so I assumed that butts were valuable items. So I collected a pile of them from on the ground in various places and solemnly presented him with this magnificent 'gift'! Old Bill, being a kind hearted fellow, accepted my grisly offering with great grace, and never let on that I'd given him something quite disgusting! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />
</span>

@ Kris => Now that is good, totally wrong, but funny nonetheless. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" />

Kyra_Ny <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />

Kids DO the funniest things! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

Übereil

You are in a cold house in the middle of winter.
It is dark and you only have one match.

There is a candle and a wood burning stove in the room.

What do you light first?


<span class='standouttext'>Spoiler : </span><span class='spoiler'> The match of course. </span>


Kyra_Ny <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />

I HATE that kind of question!

Übereil

I like it. Lateral thinking. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

In what year did Coventry latest win the FA-cup?

<span class='standouttext'>Spoiler : </span><span class='spoiler'> Acually, that was a trickquestion. Coventry City has NEVER won the FA-cup (said in the beginning of the seventies, don't know if they have won it after that...) </span>










Übereil

Hehe... Monty Python. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />

Yup!

Who won the cupfinal in 1949? <span class='standouttext'>Spoiler : </span><span class='spoiler'> Wolverhamton Wonders/Wanders (suddenly not shure which...)... Wolves did </span>

Übereil

How much dirt is in a hole that is 3 ft deep, and 6 inches in diameter?


<span class='standouttext'>Spoiler : </span><span class='spoiler'> None...A hole only has air in it, no dirt. </span>


Kyra_Ny <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />

A propos "lateral thinking". Do you know these situation riddles where e.g. a naked man with a match lies in the desert? Someone describes a bizarre situation and the others try to figure out what happened. They may ask questions which may be answered by "Yes" or "No" (or "of no importance").

I know a few of these stories, and if you're interested we could do some. Maybe you know some, too? We should open a new thread for it, though.