I played in a football team at this time, because everyone did. Espessially my best friend. I didn't care much for football myself, I acually found it boring.
First mistake : Don't do things vbecause everyone else does it. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />
Just be your self. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
As long as you begin comparing yourself with others, you'll lose. You've got no reason to compare, you're an
Individual.
And feel sad because you were left out of the happiness you could see throught the windows of that house you couldn't get into. And it's with that attitude I found this place.
Have I already told the story of the Premiere of Star Wars Episode I ? When I had "bought" a ticket another personhad *never* actually bought, but at THAT evening this person dropped out of nowhgere and re-claimed the ticket ? When I was outside the building while everyone was enjoying the movie I had been waiting 16 years for ?
In the last weeks I met someone very special to me, and she opened my eyes. She called it a "martyr effect". You give too much to others, actually so much that there is not much left of your self anymore. That's why you feel sad.
Your sadness, inferiority feelings and maybe lack of self-confidence are just illusions created to hold you down. Maybe someone created them, maybe you did it yourself, I don't know. But in fact, as long as you cling on to them, hold on to them, they will keep you down, down on the floor, hindering you to stand up and develop your very own full potential of living.
So stop giving too much that there is in the end nothing left of your self anymore. Instead, try
taking what you need. Because you need it. You have the right to be in need of things like anyone else.
Übereil, read
this text by Lady Rain, and meditate or think about it (or both). It has a *lot* of truth in itself.
That's it for now.
Alrik
