Larian Studios Forums General Chat Chat (Anything) About lies

Just forget everything Ub, leave it to the oldies <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

My memory is a strange (and very annoying) thing. I forget everything I don't want to forget, and I remember everything I don't want to remember. Oh, and your answer wasn't very good.



Lews, ta dig i brasan.

Übereil

I don't even remember "that Johnson fella" ! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />

Whom I remeber is ... well, I've forgot his name ! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/delight.gif" alt="" />

@ Ubereil
Never ask these questions ever. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/alien.gif" alt="" />


[color:"orange"] Now i have to choose the winner of this topic. It would be difficult ! [/color]

@ MasterGuroth


Your answer is completely off-topic.
My question was "How would you react if you would suddenly discover that your best online friend is a lier ?".

@ Stone


I don't agree with you nobody needs to lie .
The person who lies just want to fool other people and most of the time he/she tries to take advantage with his/her lies.

@ Tsel


Thanks a lot <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/kitty.gif" alt="" /> but the question was "How would you react if you would suddenly discover that your best online friend is a lier ?".
Your opinion would have interested me a lot. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/disagree.gif" alt="" />

@ Alrik


I think that some lies are a lot more than unrespectful.
About the dogs, when you know them you surely know that a dog never lie
A dog loves you or he hates you but he never simulates friendship.

@ Drag, Seth, Lews and Ub
Sorry you are off-topic. You can not be the winners.

@ Galadriel


I think that you have given the best answer in this topic.
I completely agree with you.

Gal you are the winner <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/party.gif" alt="" />

Barta

Gal, I am sorry, but I disagree with this maybe because of the way I was brought
up or maybe because I just don't like giving up on people. I think lying is wrong,
very wrong, but people do it. I have been hurt deeply by people who have lied to
me online and off line. I have also been hurt deeply by the truth that people
have dealt me online and off line. Which is worst I can not say, because both
ways hurt and hurt deep.

To me this is all a part of life and something that I must learn to deal with. If
I give up on a person on either side (truth or lie) then who am I. In a way I am
no better than they are, but if I can find the good in them or overcome the hurt
that they have caused me then I have grown as a person.

No, it has never been easy and at times alot of soul searching has been done, but
I think in the end I am the one who has come out on top. Why? becasue I do not
have the hate, the bitterness, the resentment, and everything that goes along
with it.

Just my way of looking at things.

Shan <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/alien.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

well that's always better than being 'completly off topic'... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

Well, thanks a lot Barta!! I did my best! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/party.gif" alt="" /> Party on!!
What should I do next? Should I shoose another topic or what?

@ Shan
First of all, welcome back!! We missed you around here!
About your post;

I prefer the truth. At least you will know where you stand with that person. If a certain person doesn't like you, but pretends he likes you, is that something you would wether like? I know the truth can hurt, but living a lie is more hurtful for the person who gets lied to.
I'm not talking about the little lies, "leugentjes om bestwil" in Dutch, that is not going to hurt anyone, it's the lie that comes with another lie and another...that is the big thing Barta is talking about here.
And believe me, it's better to break off with bigtime liars!!

First I apologize for this post being so lengthy.

How many of us actually use our real name(s) here on this forum and use them as our avatar names?
Isn’t that a simple form of a lie?
Oh, so you say it is role playing or maybe pretending, but isn’t someone who lies about their age, sex, or whatever etc…also role playing or pretending.
I did not want to post on this topic; because it is a topic that holds a great deal of pain for me, but after reading some of these posts I feel I must post something openly, whereas before I only PM’d my thoughts on the topic.

If you hire a clown to perform for a party isn’t that clown pretending; lying?
The clown isn’t who they really are.
When you watch the television or a movie, are not the actors and actresses pretending; lying?
The actors and actresses roles are not who they really are.

Thought:
Some people who are married on this forum whom I have PM’d has informed me that their spouse is super jealous of them being in contact with those of the opposite sex.
If the said spouse keeps in contact with those of the opposite sex isn’t that a form of lying to ones spouse?
I am NOT condemning such actions, so do not get all huffy on me if you think I’m pointing a finger at any of you.
I no longer PM these people, NOT, I repeat NOT, because I do not want to, but rather because I understand and respect how their spouse feels.

I am NOT Mr. Innocent, although I do joke with those I know that I am (chuckle), who here can truly claim such innocence? Who here can truly claim they have not withheld truths from others or say they have never lied?

The only time a lie bothers me from anyone is if they actually betray me or do something to actually hurt me via a lie.
I no longer have any personal face to face friends in my life; because they have always in some way or another betrayed me.
My standards for a face to face personal friend are very, very, very high and there is no giving ground.
Personal Story: I used to smoke cigars and I was on my way to see a friend. I had only enough coin on my person to either call my friend; because I was running late, because I hold my word as a sacred bond, or I could buy some cigars.
I called my friend and I went crazy not having any cigars.

I am NOT judging, but how many of you would do that for a friend or would you lie to them by not keeping your word and be late getting to them when you said you’d be there by a certain time.
True there is always some sort of situation that might pop up, but how many of said situations in our lives can we truly hold up as valid ones for not keeping our word to a friend.

We are all role playing, pretending in some form or another here on this forum.
We are all not letting people here see the whole and true of ourselves in some form or another.
The only time such lies, role playing, or pretending would really hurt someone is if two people are coming closer together as a love interest. It is then the pretending and role playing needs to chill out.
I make no illusions on those whom I have PM’d of the opposite sex and those of the same sex. I tell they guys I am not gay so if I am in contact with someone gay here they never get the wrong idea and I tell the girls I’m not trying to make moves on them; because I don’t want them to think I’m trying to be other than a friend. I do not want to betray that kind of trust.
If you ever find out someone here has lied to you, ask yourself this:
Did they ever directly hurt your feelings?
Did they ever whisper trusted secret PM’s to others that you asked them not to?
Did they ever directly harm you emotionally in any way?

Or

Did they bring joy to your heart?
Did they help put a smile on your face?
Where they there when you needed comfort?
Did they support you when you felt alone?
I could go on and on with the positive here.

Then that is what really matters.
Tsel <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wave.gif" alt="" />

Gal, I understand what Barta is talking about here. And I also understand what
you are saying (bolded line). Maybe that is best for you and I can respect that.

I can't do that though. I can not turn my back on anybody no matter how bad they
hurt me. It is just me. It is the way I was taught. If I find out someone has
lied to me, small lies or big lies, I will be careful what I believe when they
tell me something. I will be careful what I tell them, but I will never turn my
back on them and walk away no matter how bad I hurt. I will try to find the good
in them (and yes I believe there is good in everybody even liars). This is what
I was taught, not to condem anyone for what they do or have done but to try to
find the good in them and focus on that. Know their bad side and be cautious, but
never condem and walk away, because someday they may really need someone and you
might be the only one they have to turn to.

This doesn't make sense to alot of people. I know I am in the minority in what
I believe, but like I said before this is just me and the way I was brought up.
I believe in God and I believe this is what he wants of me, so there is no
way I can ever cut ties and walk away from anyone.

My own opinion and I hold no one else to it. I respect the way other people
feel and what they have to do to help themselves. My way is just different
though. It is me. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Shan <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/alien.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Some people think "We are in a RPG forum so the forum is a big role playing game"
I don't agree with this idea.

I do not give personal informations in the forum like name, adress and age but these informations are not secret.
The person who can hack Lynn's computer will get them easyly.
The other things about me are true : i am a female, i am a teacher and i live in France.
I have only one account in the forum.

I don't play "a role" in the forum and i would be very disappointed if i knew that my forum friends are playing a role.

So please if you are playing a role, even if it is a very friendly role, i want to know.
I don't want to spoil my time with people who are playing a role.
In that case, i will forget the chat section and i will only post in the help section.

Barta

Here things are different to the German-language section of the Forum(s).

There, EVERYONE is a role-player, is playing his or her role, which can be fun, but can also be annoying, because in serious things people might say (and sometimes did so) that "it's just a role I play".

So EVERYONE is different from the ACTUAL person as seen on this screen. Therefore, there we can never say what a person actually says ... is it the opinion of the person behind the keyboard or of the role he/she plays.

We have had that in a thread I don't like at all : "Wer hätte das gedacht ?"
This thread was "the ultimate experience" [insert cynical smiley here] for me regarding role-playing and the difference between real person and role.

That's also the reason why I tend to rather be and post here, in the English-language part of the forum : Here I still have the impression of real, honest people sitting behind their keyboards instad of people playing roles.

An impression that has been disturbed through this thread here.

Alrik.

Um... I'm a kid... and I like games. Oh, I'm a guy too. That's all the truth.

Personally i do not have any problems with portraying an image that is more readily acceptable by the general public (or forum members in this case). IF you want to Role play.... great, no problem!!!! BUT......

There are limits.

Things that iMO is acceptable to do...

Adapting to a different personality while online. (you may come accross as this funny humourous person online, while in reality your porclain face will crack and shatter if you try to smile <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />
Leaving out facts about yourself (epsecially those that may cause conflict / make you feel uncomfortable )
Act a character which is purely fictional (and is EASILY recognised for being fictional) E.g. I very often come accross in forums as "goddess of the tide" "Lady of Rain" etc... (IMHO if you really believe that i am the Goddess of the tide.... well then there is not much hope left for humanity)
IMO having vitrual environments, friends, experiences, gee, i have even been virtually married before!!!! (to the prince of thunder) AS LONG as both parties are aware of the TRUE fact here... its all a LIE!!!! none of it is true.

THings that IMO is just a NO GO / TAboo

Deceiving a person in regards to loyalty, trust, reliability etc. (If you say you will / wont do something.... then stick to what you SAID you will / wont do)
Creating false identies (the kind that is realistic and not easily spotted as roleplaying) (You do not change your gender in order to "toy / torment" a person. Nor is it acceptable for a paedophile to enter a chat location under the pretences of being a 14 year old. (In plain english, do not hide your wolf nature in sheepskin!!!!)
Creating events to envoke a response of sympathy, or to turn current events in your favour. (Do not tell people that you were antagonised by Character A to get a response of sympathy from Character B, just because you need Character B to focus on fighting with Character A, while all you actually want to do is make Character C believe that Character B is a very hostile person.... etc)
Do or Say anything that may cause emotional instability / pain to another person.

I think it all can still be summed up in 1 line....

Do unto others what you would like done to yourself!

Well, I really don't know, because I have never made close friends online. I know something about some people, and I've even met two guys from this forum IRL, but in the end if I found out someone here lied, I'd possibly shrug and think "well what was that good for", but nothing more, because there is no close relationship.


About lying in general: Well, I'm one of the worst liars that exist. But in the end that's not something I have a problem with. I just can't do it. I can't even do it in games. If for the ending of a quest lying is necessary, I'll never get to the end of that quest. Of course that also implies I'm a bad roleplayer. I can't play a role that is much different from what I am.
What makes me sad, is that often enough in today's world is that lying is being rewarded, while honesty is being punished.
I think I better stop writing now, before I'm pulling even more of a moral apostle. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

A lie can run around the world before the truth can get it's boot's on.

Terry Pratchett The Truth

yep, i'm sure that's not a lie, lews <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />

In a way i don't think the problem of the lies are the same as casual "arrangements with the truth" we are supposed to make all of us here, -and i overlined supposed.

RPing is fun in a game. It may be fun and with practically no consequences in some threads of this forum but i don't think that it should be appeared like the truth.

@ Flash

You are not a close friend not even a friend but i always like to read your posts.
I feel that you are somebody nice and sincere.

Barta

I hear you all and I do agree with you all, I think Lady_Rain, MASTER_GUROTH, Alrik, and Shantara really hit what I was trying to say. I won’t bother repeating what they already said so eloquently.

I am who I am, I am not role playing here on this forum, but face to face I don’t know if you’d actually like me as a person. I am a hard nosed no nonsense, take no numbers kind of guy. I don’t accept B.S. in the work place when something needs to get done.

On this forum you all see a side of me that I don’t show to anyone.
It is the real me, but face to face, it is very, very rare you’d ever see this side of me.
I am not role playing here, what you see is what you get, but face to face, you might think me a d*ck or an a$$ because I’ll say you’re full of sh*t right to your face without even blinking.

Again, here on this forum you are seeing a side of me that most people who I know personally never see, because I never show them that side of me.

I know this is no personal thing towards me; I simply have shared it that way.
All is cool.
Tsel <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wave.gif" alt="" />

But I'm telling the truth....I'm not really an OrC, or even a Chief...


....can anyone forgive me?? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif" alt="" />

but one thing is very true...
....I've been busier than a bee on a heavy pollen day! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />




<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

no more lies, lying, or untruths..... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/alien.gif" alt="" />

@ Tsel -> just like Barta, i don't agree with the RPG forum comes with role-playing members. i don't. i am a 30-year-old malaysian male whose name is already known by those who read my posts (yes, it's public info now) & whose like/dislike is very well-known as well.

another thing; i cannot remember who posted this idea of equating holding back the truth with lie, that one i don't agree as well. not wanting to tell anyone that i prefer chocolate to vanilla is not the same as lying that i prefer vanilla to chocolate. i just don't want anyone to know. that's all. ok, that was just an example. this is truth -> i love chocolate more than any other flavour.

i understand your point of view, Tsel. i do the same thing. i find myself sharing more here than in real life. the level of intimacy (by that i mean friendship, nothing kinky & such) is almost as deep as that with my real life best friend (whom i have to let go eventually). in real life i'm a quiet mousy little fellow who replies a word with a word, not more. but thanks to the forum, especially the people in here, i am slowly fleshing out the real me in real life. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

@ Gal -> good for u. if u cannot tolerate being hurt again, u break away from the pain. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />

@ Shan -> we're very much alike. many times i have found those who lie are those who are hurt the most & they lie most of the time to themselves for comfort as well as others for assurance that everything is ok. i often ask myself as well if i am as honest as i think i am. i find that by putting myself on trial of fire (on a difficult test), i will find the real me. ugly it may be, but at least i know it is me.

@ Barta -> i hope your question is just a curiosity & doesn't mean that u're the one that's hurt. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/disagree.gif" alt="" /> i hope u're ok.

@ Ube -> i hope u'll understand when i ask that u don't ask about who this Johnson is & try to bring out the painful past of the forum. u're a smart person who knows the difference of keeping the skeleton in the closet & putting things in perspective (what's past is past).

in general, my view on this topic;

if i ever find out who lies to me, firstly i will be like most people; hurt. secondly, i will be more careful around this person who lied to me. but i will not push him/her away totally. in the past i might. but no more as i learn to be more observant & forgiving (but i'm not perfect). after all, i lied before & i suspect that being human, i may lie again in the future. who knows? so who am i to condemn when i am also more than capable in lying?

i will do my best to forgive & ask the person why he/she has to lie. of course another big thing; if that person is not sorry for it, how can i forgive? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/think.gif" alt="" />

@ Lady Rain -> oh come on! tell me u're kidding! u're not the goddess of the tide?! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cry.gif" alt="" />