Larian Studios Forums General Chat Chat (Anything) The Serious Topic or GIT (part 2)

since today's my last day at work for this week, i better conclude this topic or it'll be left hanging which is bad for all.

thanks to Stone, HEF, Al, Ube & Glance for providing me your views on the topic. it has been a very personal one for me as i have friends (real life & online) that are in conflict with one another but i always feel that i am able to be a friend to both sides. such stance may be seen or interpreted as fence sitting or worse, traitorous. but i stand where i know i have no regret when i decide to do so.

@ Stone -> the reason of the fight is definitely important, just as how important the cause of the conflict is. but when u get two conflicting pictures (Rashomon-like) how would one handle it? do u instead try to convince both sides to try to relent & just give way as sometimes certain fights are pointless & have no benefit whatsoever in winning?

@ HEF -> we are so much alike! i have the same stance as u do in that my belief & principle (no matter how lacking it is) is unmovable & yet i will not cause others to change their beliefs just to suit mine. & if possible, i will not even want to be a mediator unless i feel things get out of hand & they need to be talked down. after all, as u said it in the later post, we're all adults & we can handle things on our own & so we should let friends handle the conflict on their own with their own capacity.

@ Al -> what does middle mean? not wanting to know or acknowledge the conflict between the conflicting friends? or being the non-deciding factor in the conflict? or is it an active role as in mediator? or maybe slightly passive as in advisory role (as how HEF described)? it is natural & human to take sides however when both friends are counting on u to provide them support in advice & stuff, one must do something to help both out but not to put them against each other. as for my case, i would have them both back out if possible.

@ Glance -> great depth of thought. is it experience? as for making choices, i do not mean by taking sides but to make a decision. i'm sorry for not making it clear the first time. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shame.gif" alt="" />

& as for reiterating that one should make one's own decision on the rights & wrongs, not for other to do so; i completely agree. however we should have enough humility to tell when we can be wrong & should reflect at least on our thoughts & deeds. pride is always the biggest stumbling block in relationships, i feel.

when u mentioned the possibility of losing both, that is one of the biggest consideration people may make in deciding what to do in this conflict; consequences. would u save both for your own sake or would u do it for them? what i mean is that maybe their friendship just doesn't work out anymore so it would be good for them to part but for your own sake, u would try to hold them together (very selfish, i know). or would u relent to their 'final(?)' decision to part ways though it's not what u want? very fine line in that; what they want & what u want & what needs to be.

@ Ube -> for your own sake, i hope things like this will never happen to u.

decision: when it comes to handing over the torch of this thread, it's tough. Stone with his reason/source, HEF with his unmovable belief, & Glance with active search for common ground & understanding.

HEF, yours are in sync with mine & i can appreciate immediately your values. however i feel Glance should have the torch as his wisdom is really illuminating & thus making me think in much more varied angles & perspectives.

thanks to all of u for sharing with me your ideas, values, beliefs, experiences.

play Misty for me, Glance. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

edit: Fille, sorry i did not read your post as i was typing this one (this beard is very slow in typing) with no concept of time. i see that u have the balance needed to help both sides out while not being directly involved yourself. this is good as i think even that is not enough at times & what i mean is that i hope u too won't know how this is like.

conclusion? there is as much virtue in INaction as in action.