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[color:"orange"] The older brother was never the same after that. [/color]
I wonder about the father, having left a weapon lying around unattended - loaded and accessible to kids...


Wow, that's lucky. I wish I had a chance to shoot my younger sibling. I've been the same for the last 20 years and it's been damn boring. Hmm, though in that case, I wonder how the brother was better? Did you mean to say that his life was better because it changed, or better for some other reason? More toys for him at xmas?

And we should be deeply grateful for this peculiar event - my crystal ball says that without this event said person would have gone on to own 12 guns and eventually become a serial killer. BUT he would have failed as a serial killer to murder the Richten family in its entirely, and one of the surviving members would have gone on to become an influential priest who discouraged birth control and increased the starving and desperate people in central africa until a major civil war started.

Fortunately, because he wasn't a serial killer, the member of the Richten family that should have survived actually died in a car accident.


Whew, that was a close one.


Lowkey

"That which is good is seen in hindsight, tunnel vision, individual and cultural prejudice, and the blissful fog of memory. If you're looking backwards it's all bad - that's why we left it behind, yet still have the time to look backwards fondly rather than forward in terror." - Idiot #5,639,423,715



-If I were a lemming, I think I would push the lemming in front of me off a cliff, because hey, what's funnier than a falling lemming?
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Wey, Lowkey is back <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />. Hope you'kk stay longer this time <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />.

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since Seth doesn't want to take charge (knowing him, i know he wants new bloods to take charge for once) & HEF needs time to recuperate (ain't easy running all the HandEFood stores <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> ), then let me take hold of the reins for a while.

this one's a bit personal & has been for quite sometime as it presents morality's elasticity or lack of it & which matters more; relationship or principle?

two of your best friends in a fight & none wants to lose. both wants u to choose Bush-style; either u're with me or u're against me. how do u make the choice & why? based on what? please be honest & don't worry about being right or wrong. i wonder how would one make such difficult choices & live with it. do u dare ask a friend to make choices u dare not take yourself?

i'm sorry if all the questions are a bit incoherent. my mind's a bit messy as well but this is the best i can do in terms in organised thoughts. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

fire away!! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/evilgrin1.gif" alt="" />


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I think it is very importand to know why do the fight <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> But if i know that not, or the reasons are not really importand, i will ask myself, will i do something like that with my best friend?
No, i will not.
And then i ask my again. If someone give me a choice like this can he be a good friend? I think not.


Das Ganze ist mehr als die Summe seiner Teile(Aristoteles)
Aber wenn man das einzelne nicht mehr beachtet, hat das ganze keinen Sinn mehr (Stone)
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Thanks, jang! I had an idea on the way to the station this morning, but I've lost it now.

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HEF needs time to recuperate (ain't easy running all the HandEFood stores <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" /> )

There only two of them... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

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two of your best friends in a fight & none wants to lose. both wants u to choose Bush-style; either u're with me or u're against me. how do u make the choice & why? based on what? please be honest & don't worry about being right or wrong. i wonder how would one make such difficult choices & live with it. do u dare ask a friend to make choices u dare not take yourself?

I will stick to myself. I don't change my moral beliefs for others. In this case, where I'm not directly involved, I'd stay out of it, and be a friend to them separately. I'd refuse to give any inside information on the other party, just my own point of view and advice.

There shouldn't be politics between friends. If they fight, fair enough. They'll either get over it and stay friends or not see each other again. If they start saying "I won't be your friend if you keep seeing them" then they're most likely too superficial to be worth the time.

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I Am the Middle, have always been.

If there is no Middle, then I create it. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />



When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it.
--Dilbert cartoon

"Interplay.some zombiefied unlife thing going on there" - skavenhorde at RPGWatch
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Since there's not much to gain from friends fighting, I'd try to be the peacemaker <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />. I wouldn't side, I'd just tell them not to be so childish, drop your pride and make frinds again.

But as Stone sais, why they fight IS improtant.

Allso note that I've never been in this situation. I think that this is what I would try to do, but I can't be sure. It's like figuring if you will panic or stay calm if you're in a car on the bottom of the ocean, and you've only got one hour of air. You've never been in a situation like that, so you can't really say what you will do.

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[color:"orange"] two of your best friends in a fight & none wants to lose. both wants u to choose Bush-style; either u're with me or u're against me. how do u make the choice & why? based on what? please be honest & don't worry about being right or wrong. i wonder how would one make such difficult choices & live with it. do u dare ask a friend to make choices u dare not take yourself? [/color]

When saying 'choose Bush like' I do not believe Janggut meant to say that the topic in question was a political one. To me, with the hardened fronts, it sounds more like an emotional issue.

I agree that asking 'sine qua non' is not friend-like. One should never do that to anyone, much less a respected friend.

How do you make a choice? Must I really? Could I not come to the conclusion that neither is right (or wrong)? For your own self-respect, never let anybody outside your own determine what is right or wrong - for you!

Whether you voice it or not may be a matter of circumstances. I also would try to moderate betweeen friends - search the common points, and work from there.

The most difficult choice may be the one where you lose both. A situation not uncommon in divorce/separation scenarios. But the priority should be on you, not on the one or the other - for yourself, I am positive, that's the best in the long run.

Other than that, it could help to remind yourself and the others that you're not friends because of that one issue, but for a multitude of other things commonly shared among you three. Respecting another's dissenting opinion on a single issue, is a major part in friendship, as well as in human relationship in general. Maybe they should be reminded of that.


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I Am the Middle, have always been.

If there is no Middle, then I create it. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

That's not always the best idea. One of my best friends kept on being a middle-man where it wasn't welcome. It almost came to blows on some occasions. There's a big difference between supporting, mediating, and gossiping. He was trying to mediate, but it came out more like gossiping or meddling. He's learned some restraint now. Sometimes it is best to let people sort out their own problems.

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[color:"orange"] two of your best friends in a fight & none wants to lose. both wants u to choose Bush-style; either u're with me or u're against me. how do u make the choice & why? based on what? do u dare ask a friend to make choices u dare not take yourself? [/color]

In these cases, especially if I have nothing to see with the fight object, I refuse to side on either way. I let both know that I'm there for them whenever they might need/want me to, but that they won't involve me in their fight.

Is it a question of principle? Yes and no. Of course each case is unique, and the cause and context of the fight weights much in the balance; but the will to remain in a fight until the other one loses is rarely the solution. It brings more and more pain and no one gets out of it without blows.

So the only thing I do regarding the matter is to try to moderate them, slow the pace and try to find solutions, make them view the possibilities. Going further than that involves you directly and will most always raise the tension.

It is also a question of protection and respect towards you; making a choice you don't want to do is a kind of betrayal to yourself. In these cases I stick to one thing: as long as my reason doesn't agree with my feelings I don't make any step and continue to search; it's the way for me to take serene decisions. Since you only have power over your acts, minds and attitudes, you have to remain concious of what is in your power and what is not. That thing of "you're with me or against me" is not true. If you decide not to choose, you aren't against anyone; if you choose under the menace then you act against yourself.
If that person is angry after you for not siding and feels it like a betrayal, then he/she's a bit lacking of goodwill to solve the matter and of respect towards you, imho. And since that ressentiment is not legitimate, it might go away with time; that person will end up either coming back to you or go it's way, when he/she will be able to see the situation with enough persperctive. And you will have standed clean and won't have any regret.
Pain and violent feelings restrict one's view, and you, the only pain you'll go through is the helplessness and sadness of one seeing friends suffering and tearing themselves apart when he did all he could to at least ease the solving of the fight.

As for daring asking a friend to make a choice one wouldn't do itself, one can always ask... In these cases what is wrong imo is to expect/oblige the friend to answer/obey. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />
Personnally, I would not dare to ask such a question; I would even not dare to involve my friend further than asking him/her for his opinion about what can be my own responsility in the matter, what I could have done wrong and what I can do for that fight to end.

I hope this helps you a bit. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


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since today's my last day at work for this week, i better conclude this topic or it'll be left hanging which is bad for all.

thanks to Stone, HEF, Al, Ube & Glance for providing me your views on the topic. it has been a very personal one for me as i have friends (real life & online) that are in conflict with one another but i always feel that i am able to be a friend to both sides. such stance may be seen or interpreted as fence sitting or worse, traitorous. but i stand where i know i have no regret when i decide to do so.

@ Stone -> the reason of the fight is definitely important, just as how important the cause of the conflict is. but when u get two conflicting pictures (Rashomon-like) how would one handle it? do u instead try to convince both sides to try to relent & just give way as sometimes certain fights are pointless & have no benefit whatsoever in winning?

@ HEF -> we are so much alike! i have the same stance as u do in that my belief & principle (no matter how lacking it is) is unmovable & yet i will not cause others to change their beliefs just to suit mine. & if possible, i will not even want to be a mediator unless i feel things get out of hand & they need to be talked down. after all, as u said it in the later post, we're all adults & we can handle things on our own & so we should let friends handle the conflict on their own with their own capacity.

@ Al -> what does middle mean? not wanting to know or acknowledge the conflict between the conflicting friends? or being the non-deciding factor in the conflict? or is it an active role as in mediator? or maybe slightly passive as in advisory role (as how HEF described)? it is natural & human to take sides however when both friends are counting on u to provide them support in advice & stuff, one must do something to help both out but not to put them against each other. as for my case, i would have them both back out if possible.

@ Glance -> great depth of thought. is it experience? as for making choices, i do not mean by taking sides but to make a decision. i'm sorry for not making it clear the first time. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shame.gif" alt="" />

& as for reiterating that one should make one's own decision on the rights & wrongs, not for other to do so; i completely agree. however we should have enough humility to tell when we can be wrong & should reflect at least on our thoughts & deeds. pride is always the biggest stumbling block in relationships, i feel.

when u mentioned the possibility of losing both, that is one of the biggest consideration people may make in deciding what to do in this conflict; consequences. would u save both for your own sake or would u do it for them? what i mean is that maybe their friendship just doesn't work out anymore so it would be good for them to part but for your own sake, u would try to hold them together (very selfish, i know). or would u relent to their 'final(?)' decision to part ways though it's not what u want? very fine line in that; what they want & what u want & what needs to be.

@ Ube -> for your own sake, i hope things like this will never happen to u.

decision: when it comes to handing over the torch of this thread, it's tough. Stone with his reason/source, HEF with his unmovable belief, & Glance with active search for common ground & understanding.

HEF, yours are in sync with mine & i can appreciate immediately your values. however i feel Glance should have the torch as his wisdom is really illuminating & thus making me think in much more varied angles & perspectives.

thanks to all of u for sharing with me your ideas, values, beliefs, experiences.

play Misty for me, Glance. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

edit: Fille, sorry i did not read your post as i was typing this one (this beard is very slow in typing) with no concept of time. i see that u have the balance needed to help both sides out while not being directly involved yourself. this is good as i think even that is not enough at times & what i mean is that i hope u too won't know how this is like.

conclusion? there is as much virtue in INaction as in action.

Last edited by janggut; 31/05/05 02:50 AM.

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Heh. Mine's not so much immovable belief as knowing where I stand. I will stick to my side and not be sucking onto someone elses. I will understand and accept the other sides and will advise where appropriate, to help them through it. I will let my belief move, but only where I want it to move, not where others say. I stay out of any politics, amongst friends, with workmates and in government. It's not worth the trouble.

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Heh. Mine's not so much immovable belief as knowing where I stand. I will stick to my side and not be sucking onto someone elses. I will understand and accept the other sides and will advise where appropriate, to help them through it. I will let my belief move, but only where I want it to move, not where others say. I stay out of any politics, amongst friends, with workmates and in government. It's not worth the trouble.


hence unmovable to others but u alone. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />


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If you need a reason to do the "right" thing (for other reasons than that it IS the right thing), you can allways think like the mathematican (the loony, can't remember his name right now...): "Do what's best for you AND your fellow-creatures." (Is that really the word? Fellow-creatures? It makes me feel like we're talking about horses or something...)

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Wisdom is the one positive trait attributed to age - so Janggut's words, and the fact that I became Grandfather two weeks ago, make me feel very old. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

A topic? <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/think.gif" alt="" />

Last Sunday the French people declined the European Constitution in a referendum, though France was a founding member of the European Union and France had significant influence in the formulation of the draft of the constitution. As it appears the majority of those saying no did not base their vote on their factual opinion of the document in question, but on their general dissatisfaction with the interior politics of the current government.

Which leads me to the topic to discuss ->

democracy and referendums.

Describe the policy on referendums in your respective countries, if there is any.
Describe the experiences made with them.
What is your opinion - Should there be more direct participation of the general population in a democracy (if yes, on what issues?)? Or should elected governments stand to their mandate and take the responsibility on their own for representing their respective population (in its entirety!)?

An essay of at least... - no, forget that <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />


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I only post this just in case:

Merriam-Webster Dictionary

"Referendum"

1 a : the principle or practice of submitting to popular vote a measure passed on or proposed by a legislative body or by popular initiative
1 b : a vote on a measure so submitted
2 : a diplomatic agent's note asking for government instructions

Tsel


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Since Government was one of my worst topics, back in the day when I was still a lad in school, I am going to only quote US History on this topic.

I will only be answering partial posed questions at a time.

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The referendum is a direct democratic procedure through which proposed legislation is submitted to the electorate for approval. Referendum proposals may originate from the initiative process or from a legislature.

Three basic types of referendums exist:
Petition Referendum. A referendum by petition follows the initiative process in which a statutory number of signatures is collected in order to qualify the measure for the ballot. The voters then decide the measure's fate.

Optional Referendum. The optional referendum is the means for a legislature to refer a controversial matter (e.g. a new tax) to the electorate for a vote.

Constitutional (or Statutory) Referendum. Some states and localities require that certain types of measures (often constitutional amendments, bond measures and some types of taxes) be submitted to the electorate in a referendum. These measures often require more than a simple majority for approval.
In 1898, South Dakota became the first state to provide both the optional and petition referendums. One form or another of this process is used today in many Midwestern and Western states, and in numerous cities and local governments.

There is no provision for the use of referendums for federal legislation.

The referendum, along with the initiative and recall, won public attention because of the Populist Party platforms of the 1890s and were advanced as means to stimulate unresponsive government.


The initiative is a democratic procedure that allows laws or amendments to be initiated directly by the voters.

The practice dates back to ancient Greece. It appeared in America in 1777 when the Georgia state constitution provided a means to adopt amendments with the voters' consent. In 1898, South Dakota granted its voters the right to initiate all forms of legislation. The initiative is available today at the state, county and local levels in many areas.

An initiative, which can be drafted by anyone, generally requires the signatures of a specific percentage of the district’s registered voters, often between five and 15 percent, to qualify for the ballot. If sufficient signatures are received and verified, then the measure is placed on the ballot for the next scheduled election or at a special election.

Two types of initiative exist:
Direct Initiative: A direct initiative is the standard form of this process. Interested parties prepare the initiative and collect the necessary signatures. If they are successful, the issue is placed on the ballot. If approved by the voters, the measure becomes law.

Indirect Initiative: Indirect initiatives (mandated in some localities) require that measures receiving a sufficient number of valid petition signatures are then submitted to the legislature for action. Usually, if the legislature fails to pass the proposed legislation, it is submitted to the electorate for final disposition; however, in other areas, the proposal dies if defeated in the legislature.
No provision exists for the use of the initiative in federal legislation.

The initiative, along with the referendum and recall, won public attention because of the Populist Party platforms of the 1890s. They were promoted as means to stimulate unresponsive government.


The recall is a direct democracatic procedure that provides for removal of elected officials before their terms expire.

In most circumstances, a petition drive is held to collect a statutory number of signatures from registered voters. If sufficient valid signatures are verified, the matter is placed on the ballot and submitted to the electorate. Depending upon the election results, the official in question is either allowed to complete his term or is removed from office.

The Los Angeles city charter of 1903 was the first in the United States to adopt the recall. In 1908, Oregon became the first state to approve the practice. Today 11 states and hundreds of local governments include recall provisions in their constitutions or charters.

The recall, along with the referendum and initiative, won public attention because of the Populist Party platforms of the 1890s and were advanced as means to stimulate unresponsive government.


The Populist (or People's) Party platform in 1892 incorporated a host of popular reform ideas, including the following:

Australian (or Secret) Ballot. Voting was still conducted publicly in many areas, potentially subjecting voters to pressure or recrimination by employers and landlords. (This proposal was adopted almost everywhere in the United States in the early 20th century.)

Popular Election of U.S. Senators. As provided in the Constitution (Article I, Section 3), senators were selected by the state legislatures, not by popular vote. It was believed that business lobbies exerted inordinate influence over the selection of these officials. (This plank would become part of the Constitution in 1913 when Amendment XVII was ratified.)

Direct Democracy. The Populists urged the adoption of the initiative, referendum and recall as means to give the people a more direct voice in government. (Some or all of these procedures became part of the constitutions of many states during the early 20th century.)

Banking Reform. The Populists believed that much of their economic hardship had been caused by bankers' unfair practices. They proposed to end the national banking system, a point of view not widely held. (The Populists failed with this proposal and a Federal Reserve System was established by law in 1913.)

Government Ownership of the Railroads. Anger against the railroads for alleged price discrimination was so intense that the Populists advocated for federal appropriation. (Opponents charged the Populists with socialism and little public support existed for this plank. However, during the Theodore Roosevelt administration, steps were taken toward reform of the railroads.)

Graduated Income Tax. The Populists viewed the graduated income tax as a means to pry loose a portion of the tremendous wealth of the nation's most prosperous citizens. A "graduated" tax meant that the rate of taxation would increase as one's income increased. (A step was made in this direction in the Wilson-Gorman Tariff of 1894 when a uniform tax was imposed, but that portion of the law was declared unconstitutional by the Supreme Court the following year. Authority to impose such taxation was granted to Congress under Amendment XVI in 1913.)

Free and Unlimited Coinage of Silver. The Populists in 1892 raised the silver issue, but not with the same fervor that would emerge four years later. (The free silver crusade would die a natural death in the years following 1896 as prosperity returned and the world's gold supply increased.)

www.u-s-history.com


Maybe off topic, when I get mailed to me the booklet of the new referendums that I am to vote on in my country, I read the whole book, which can be over 200 pages of gobbledygook
(gobbledygook = wordy and generally unintelligible jargon).

Then to my best understanding, I vote my conscience on what I’d like to have happen in my country by the choices I’ve been given to vote on.

Tsel


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I'm not old enought to vote yet <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/puppyeyes.gif" alt="" />. I will be in two months though <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />. But due to this I havn't had much experiences of it. I remember we'd have four referendums total in our history. It was about traffic (if we should go over to right traffic, or stay with left traffic, somewere in the mid 60's this, right traffic was voted in), the nuclear question (three alternatives, stay as it is, totally abandoning it or abandon it in 30 years. Made in 1979, alternative three was voted in. Nothing has happened so far...), if we should join EU or not (we did in 1995 I think) and if we should go over to euro, or wait. We decided to wait.
I THINK the goverment is consiering a referendum about the constitution, but they want to do it when the majority of the pepole is pro <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />...

And about democracy in general: let me put it like Winston Churcill: Democracy is a lousy way to rule a country, but do you have a better suggestion?

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Wisdom is the one positive trait attributed to age - so Janggut's words, and the fact that I became Grandfather two weeks ago, make me feel very old. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

Don't worry, you'll feel very young again when on visits you have to start chasing the little creature around the flat for hours on end <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />

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Last Sunday the French people declined the European Constitution in a referendum, though France was a founding member of the European Union and France had significant influence in the formulation of the draft of the constitution. As it appears the majority of those saying no did not base their vote on their factual opinion of the document in question, but on their general dissatisfaction with the interior politics of the current government.

Would the German contingent of this site please consider invading France and teaching them the lesson of isolationism again? That perhaps focusing largely on currently events or "being French" is a little, just a hair, short sighted as a value system that should be used to map out a future?
The Saurians voted to remain large dinosaurs and look what happened - we have cuddly bears able to take down the biggest lizards available.


Quote

democracy and referendums.

1. Describe the policy on referendums in your respective countries, if there is any.
2. Describe the experiences made with them.
3. What is your opinion - Should there be more direct participation of the general population in a democracy (if yes, on what issues?)? Or should elected governments stand to their mandate and take the responsibility on their own for representing their respective population (in its entirety!)?


Aren't we going to vote on the essay length? The hardest part on this one will be keeping it short, so I'll give it a shot.
1. In the US there isn't a uniform policy - voting in various areas, called jurisdictions, is generally reserved for "constitutional" changes (which can either be minor wording changes or substantial government changes) and for issues where voters themselves call for a direct vote. The extent of what is actually available or required varies by state and county/city, or area however. The only constant I am aware of is that a direct public vote is always available in some form or for some reason.

2. From personal experience I would say that half of the voters take voting in general very seriously and are surprisingly well informed, the other half is either entirely uninformed or minimally so and intends to vote based on their immediate emotional reaction in the voting booth. Most referendums seem to be put in place after normal voting by the legislature failed to achieve something, and the supporters decide that the representatives decisions should be overridden. (The theory in most cases being that public desire is strong enough to override the decision of the people selected to be competent and informed)

3. Ah, the meaty part. If a representative democracy is setup so that citizens don't have to spend their time being well informed or making difficult decisions, then why would the public be voting aside from selecting the representatives? There are two good reasons. First, the government representatives are not always going to be making good decisions for the right reasons, especially in a small pool of people subject to outside interests. Second, representatives may deliberately choose to work against the interests of their constituents or even form of government in favor of some other, perhaps greater, perhaps not, purpose. Citizens who agreed to the representation/government did so with the understanding that the rep/gov would operate within certain parameters and with a particular intent - unless a direct public vote is available the only other recourse of the citizen is a (potentially violent) replacement of the government in order to reset the rep/gov on an acceptable track.

So there are two good reasons, one to correct errors or malfeasance (or misunderstanding of what the voters actually want), and one to allow citizens to express unhappiness and redress concerns without losing the entire government.

2 good reasons. Really? But both of these reasons are based in the premise that the public, which is always necessarily less informed, is at any point better able to make a decision that the current representatives. Is simply losing trust in the government because they aren't doing what makes you happy a justification for switching the form of government from representative to direct democracy? Keeping in mind that organizations already exist to investigate illegal activities in the government, and that the public already has a method of controlling the government, direct democracy seems like an emotional relief valve, and a cheat, rather than the patient, thoughtful, and deliberate approach that representative democracy was designed wishing for. I would vote no.


-If I were a lemming, I think I would push the lemming in front of me off a cliff, because hey, what's funnier than a falling lemming?
Joined: Jul 2004
Location: US, Texas
apprentice
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apprentice
Joined: Jul 2004
Location: US, Texas
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And about democracy in general: let me put it like Winston Churcill: Democracy is a lousy way to rule a country, but do you have a better suggestion?
Übereil


just an aside, the Chinese govern more people than any democracy in a far more stable way, and with fewer resources.


-If I were a lemming, I think I would push the lemming in front of me off a cliff, because hey, what's funnier than a falling lemming?
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