[color:"orange"] It seems to be, at least here, that the more populous a place is, often the less the "neighbours" are friendly [/color]
That's an observation I would be prepared to generalize.
[color:"orange"] Is it really very different depending on wether you live in a rural or urban area, or in a different country? [/color]
Rural or urban does generally make a difference, however I cannot say that to my observation that difference in general attitude changes from country to country.
Why? {Heavy smoke clouds emanating from my pipe...}
I have seen urban quarters where people, within houses or within a street had a wonderful sense of community - as much helping each other as fending off 'strangers'. In no way different than in the average farm village.
And I have seen areas where people would hardly know their next door neighbour, far less anyone elsewhere in the house. As to in the same street...
What factors drive the creation of a community? Or, the absence or loss of what factors leads to isolation within the mass? {puff, puff, smoke ring}
Stability - I think, that is the prime factor for a community. Low fluctuation in members, a certain level of social stability (not necessarily high, but high enough to allow sharing), slow and 'soft' changes in environment, a stability providing a feeling of trust, confidence and security.
The fact, that such is (in cities) often found in cultural 'ghettos' (the Italian quarter, chinatown) is - imo - a frequent historical evolution, but not an absolute necessity.
The second factor is protection - be it from outside oppression, economic pressure, or from intrusion of 'strange', 'modern', 'other' concepts of living and thinking.
The price is a a certain loss of privacy and individuality - anything you do is visible, viewed and commented, and more often than not, deviations from the 'norm' are more or less openly fought.
Yes, I have heard of multi-cultural communities with rapidly changing members and full of sparkling new ideas - but they are rare, very rare, I believe. And I would bet that they have a stable core of some rather special people. And this leads to a third, or maybe a sub-factor - homogenety.
Homogenety forming the 'common factor' - be it national origin, race, religion, or even intellectual independence (a nice way of saying 'revolutionary'). Non-conforming to the 'norm', fighting the 'system', can also be a common attitude. Whether you wear the 'non-conformist's uniform', dye your hair in neon colors, or tattoo and pierce your body in abundance - that is as much group dynamics as stubbornly defending traditions.
Now - is that good? Is the loss of that to be deplored?
To the extent it is nowadays possible in some areas to die in your apartment without anybody noticing - yes. So, abandon your PCs, shut down the TVs, and go outside and meet your neighbours, have an interest in people living next to you - COMMUNICATE!
