<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/exclamation.gif" alt="" />WARNINGS
1. One of the dreaded long kiya posts - those with a short attention span... don't read <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />
2. Not going to be a nice post, because I am going to name names!
3. Viper, I'm high-jacking your thread for the...

HISTORY OF GOSSIP - by kiya

Old forum: I joined there - Setharmon joined after me. I liked one gamer very much, a French one, called Jove. He tracked down my help posts faithfully (I mix up east/west). Setharmon disliked him, we had discussions about that on chat lvl. Well, one of the spam waves came - I left the forum silently. A few weeks later I returned and read to my horror that Setharmon had insinuated I had left because of the last posts Jove wrote. I was shocked. I apologized in public to Jove and wrote him a mail. Jove believed me, but didn't return. From that day on, I knew => DON'T TRUST SETHARMON. I have the CD of the old forum and can prove this ongoing. I blocked my chat account and blocked one of my mail addresses.

New forum - 2003: I kept distance to Setharmon - and started to keep copies of PM I sent/received. Not all, but those I considered important for my own security. Yes... this is what gossip does - causes distrust. I was engaged heavily in the first spam waves here, caused trouble - and maybe you remember, Viper: wiht you amongst others <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> - next spam wave came. I had learned a lesson that spam belongs to a forum like the tide. Setharmon wanted me to engage in yet another wave. I refused. And as I refused to let him manipulate me into this, it eventually lead to one of the few chat threads I initiated:

Request for honesty and openness

Needless to say, I never got a response if I manipulate people or not. Several possibilities => no one said it and Setharmon was up on his tricks again to divide and rule. The persons didn't want to talk to me about it. this incident increased my distrust.

And here you pop in, Viper, dealt with you being a spammer - let me refresh your memory <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> - you asked me via PM if the bad stuff I had said about you was true. Original words were from Setharmon. I clarified by sending you my PM, so you could make your own picture. We both found out => the old trickster was playing his pranks again. Spreading rumours, wanting to pull strings and thus gain power. You and I were at peace again. I thanked my lucky stars about keeping copies. You had been a spammer, but my opinion was that of the past, you had changed during the time.

A bit later.... I watch the forum closely, so I saw there was something cooking up. There was a wall between a female member and myself. I kept silent. Female Member A contacted me and told me to inform Female member B about my XP with Setharmon. I was wary at first, because I didn't want to get involved. Member B contacted me - well... to cut this long tale short, he had spread the rumour he had to back me off because I wanted more than friendship, tsktsk. I was disgusted - very digusted, felt the old dirt again. She had believed him, trusted him, gave him personal information about herself - and now she was hurt. Giving female member B mails and PM info, she learned that he is not trustworthy. Female member A had already made her XP with Setharmon herself, but she is a strong female, she had listened to her inner self - female member B... was vulnerable and hurt.

Time passed on... Setharmon seemed to lose interest in the forum. I could breathe again. No one to prowl upon females here, not that I knew of. No one to trick and manipulate females, tell bad stories about (male) members to tickle his ego and pull strings.

How many females I know of? 6.

Time passed on - I left the forum last year (2004) because of vacation and job project. In January 2005 I saw to my horror that he had come back. And by reading some posts I got the strong impression that he was up to his old tricks again. I kept away - was easy, as my personal life was very busy at that time and now I play WoW <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> . NO, I didn't want to be informed again if I would return - I didn't want to comfort a broken heart again or be confronted with his manipulations or maybe even lies he once spread about me or others, or having to clarify over and over again - I didn't want my PM box to grow large again with copies. I didn't want to feel the poison of distrust rising in my heart - not knowing whom I can trust about discretion or not. I detest manipulators, people who seek power and do a lot to strengthen their own ego.

And... Lynn had given him the helper title. A title holding credit for new members. No, I didn't want to be involved again. And now? I was informed by another female - was asked for help again. I thought about it, was still wary. Yes, distrust was rising again - raised its ugly head. And then I read your post, Viper. And I've had enough now - therefore I name, therefore I inform.

Readers, it's your choice to believe me or not. It's your choice to think everything is a big misunderstanding. come to your own opinion.

Female members, I write my XP for you - make your own choice, be careful, decide whom you want to trust or not. We are a minority here on the internet in general - and there are some male prowlers. They feed upon your vulnerability, your yearning to trust, they give you what you might lack: attention. Not all, most are very nice and supported me during the dark time here on this forum. BUT! this goes for both genders => NEVER take second hand gossip for granted! NEVER! Confront the person - and if the name isn't given to you => ASK, prod, investigate. Gossip can only grow in the darkness, it gains power by silence and retreat. Don't give in - don't.

Don't forget - create a female network - we have to protect each other. We are sensitive and vulnerable at times, let's use a quality a lot of females have => solidarity. don't remain silent and retreat for the sake of peace and friendly atmosphere. Speak up! Stand up for yourself!
Kiya

My post might cause grief and anger - I don't care. I don't consider myself an active member here anymore. But I still feel for females who get hurt or might keep away from this forum because they are filled with distrust, because they are kept away from other members by gossip, insinuations and rumours. So, the old shepherd dog is growling again <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" />