To put a positive spin on this thread clever comebacks:

Lady Astor, aghast at a party. "Mr. Churchill your drunk!"
Mr. Churchill: "And you, Lady Astor, are ugly. As for my condition, it will pass by the morning.
You, however, will still be ugly."

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ROFL.gif" alt="" />

Not in the mood for cheese?
That excuse has more holes than a slice this fine Gorgombert!