The Degradation of Man (Typoscript Version)Part One (One’s Degrade)I didn’t know how the story was
I don’t know how it will be.
I don’t know how the story (of my life) was
I don’t know which way I will go.
Now I’m sitting here, thinking about what will be and what may be and what could be.
I’m feeling sad and depressed.
Trying to count my hopes and dreams out.
But the harder I think,
But the harder I try to count I cannot find any !
But i know, there’s a hope (in sight).
Different dreams,
Different hopes,
Different talks,
Different sights,
Different ways,
Different lies,
And I know the truth; where I am and who I am
And I know what I must do
To get free.
But will I ever get free ?
Maybe someday I will know
what life without depressions is like; Well, I can see a hope in sight ...
Part Two (Degrading myself)Now I’m sitting here,
Feeling sad,
Feeling depressed,
Feeling like nobody,
And feeling like dirt (lying down on the streets).
Trying to count my hopes and dreams out;
But the harder I think, the harder I try to count,
I cannot find any !
Trying to count out my good sides and abilities, my skills and faculties;
But the harder I think,
The harder I try to count
I cannot find any !
Do I really have any ?
I know that there must be some,
‘Cause everybody told me so often from ...
Part ThreeI’ll never know
Where I’m going to.
I’ll never know
Where I should go to.
You’ll never know
What I feel.
You’ll never know
What I see.
Well, you’ll never know
Where I am.
You’ll never know
How I feel, can’t you help me ?
Now I know
I went the wrong way ...
If I had been another one (than I was)
I would have done everything in another way than i did.
If I were another one (than I am)
I would do everything in another way
Than I’ve done.
Now I know, I went the wrong way;
Now I kinow what I should have done.
Part Four (Heartbreak)Why did I go the wrong way ?
Why was there no chance to go the right way ?
Why are there so many heartbreaks,
I’ve got to get through ?
Why was there no chance to be together with a girl-friend ?
And I want to know what it means to have a girl-friend;
I want to know what it means to be together with a girl who loves me and wjhom I love, too
I never knew what it means to have a girl-friend;
I never knew what it means to be together with a girl who loves me and whom I love, too.
Because
Do you know what you have done ?
Do you know what you have done to me ?
You never know,
You never knew.
Do you know what you have done to me ?
Do you know what you have done to me, when I was young ?
Do you know what you’ve been doing to me, when you laughed at me ?
Do you all know what you have done ?
You cannot judge what you have done to me (when I was young) !
If there’s no hope, no help, no love, I want to die.
But if there’s any hope, any help, any love, I want to get it,
I’ve got to get it
or I cannot live.
Last PartHow could I go the right way ?
Which way is it ?
How could I know which way is the right way ?
How will I know what I must do ?
What must I do to go the right way ?
How could I know
If there’s no hope, no help, no love, I want to die.
If there’s any hope, any help, any love, I want to, I’ve got to get it
or I cannot live.
Who am I ?
I am somebody.
But not always (...) .
Who am I ?
I’m not nobody.
But not always ... .
If there’s no hope, no help, no love, I want to die.
If there’s any hope, any help, any love, I want to, I’ve got to get it
Or I cannot live.
Cause I’ve got nothing left to lose, I’ve goit to go my way,
No matter what they say.
Because there’s nothing left to lose, I’m going to go my way,
No matter what they say.
Annotations of the typoscript-version of this work :
"Annotations to The Degradation of Man
- This "poem" was written 1986 or 1987.
- It won a prize on the writing contest "Book Spring 1989".
- It was performed two times as a kind of "song".
Almost all of my works are thought to be "song texts".
- Is is partially inspired by GENESIS:"DOMINO" (in Part Four).
- It was written when I was in a very depressive mood.
- Theoretically it can be expanded with many more parts - except the "Last Part"; that's why the last part isn't called "Part Five" but "Last Part" instead, because it should always be set at the end."
Further annotations.
This is by far the longest poem I have ever written. It is one of the works I'm proud of. At least because of the length. It has actually been performed in public in my school as a kind of improvised "song", without notes, just pure improvisation. Witnessing the second performance was one of the proudest moments in my wjhole life. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Unfortunately, I couldn't witness the first performance, because I was on travel with a school class, then. That was very sad, because that evening I was actually given the price without being able to literally hold it (it was a book with poems by Erich Fried.)
There is another work of mine which won a price on a similar writing contest : "Masken" ("Masks").
That writing contest was held at my school in spring, therefore it was called "Book Spring" (in German, of course). It would go too far to call it a "national book day", but in fact it was a day (or at least a short time within Spring) when towns were propagating literature. This contest at my school was only one of many on different schools and in other places (if I recall correctly).
Style and Grammar are a mirror of my knowledge of the English language back then. I wasn't perfect back then (that doesn't mean I'm perfect today <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/winkwink.gif" alt="" /> ) that's why you can meet grammar mistakes there. Additionally it includes my technique "painting with words". I use - here as well - Words only because of their emotional content, and "paint" with them what I call "Emotion-Paintings". Since the emotional content is more important to me, then, it might well be that grammar mistakes or other kinds of mistakes appear. Under special circumstances this might even be done by purpose !
I think it was written 1986 or 1987, but it could also have been 1988 ... unfortunately I didn't write the date on every sheet while writing, then.
This work - and many others of that time - were inspired by songs of Genesis. This one was inspired by the two-part song "Domino" by Genesis.
About the title : The original title was "The Degrade of Man", but after asking my English teacher then about whether this was correct, he suggested "Degradation" instead of "Degrade". That's how the actual title arose.
The image imposed by "degradation" is that of a person degrading himself or herself - making himself small, unnoticed, unimportant, not worthy, in a lieeral sense like an officer who rips off his own badges and decorations and meddals because he sees / considers himself to be unworthy. Like in a Depression.
