Larian Studios Forums General Chat Chat (Anything) The Off Topic Thread

England are doing well in the Cricket again. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/up.gif" alt="" />

Last night I had bad dreams. And today my jaw muscles hurt as I seem to have drawn my teeth tight too intensely. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ouch.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ohh.gif" alt="" />

Dolphins and human beings are the only two creatures that enjoy sexual intimacy. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

This has been a pointless, inacurate, and more importantly <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/offtopic.gif" alt="" /> thingy you definantly didn't want to know brought to you by:

Killerzzz

Didn't have to scrape the Ice of me car this morning because I went out and bought one of them there covers which protect it from the Elements. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

& please don't smoke when u're in Exeter. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Dear Enemy: may the Lord hate you and all your kind, may you be turned orange in hue, and may your head fall off at an awkward moment.

Just fed Fishy, fishie and fishee, me Goldfish.

america's gettin smart, most americans finally dont like bush anymore as a president <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/bday_jump.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/bday_jump.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/bday_jump.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/XmasJump.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/party.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/party.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/party.gif" alt="" />

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Aswer: <span class='standouttext'>Spoiler : </span><span class='spoiler'>Fish</span>

Some isms expressed in cows:

Communism: You have two cows. You give one to your neigbour.

Socialism: You have two cows. The govverment takes both and gives you milk.

Liberalism: You may have as many cows as you like.

Fashism: You have two cows. The goverment takes your cows and shoots you.

Nazism: You have no cows, and the goverment is run by swines.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buys a bull.

EU-capitalism: You have two MAD cows.

Bureaucracy: You have two cows. The goverment takes both, shoots one, milks one and pours the milk away.

EU-bureaucracy: You have two cows. After three summits, EU decides to buy a decided ammount of milk to a set price and pour it away. Then they order you to slaughter the cows because some other cows are mad. The rest of the milk you'll have to pour away for yourself.

Alcoholism: You have two cows, but see four.

Übereil

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.

William Shakespeare: Hamlet, Act III, Scene I

The index finger of the statue of Liberty mesures 2 and a half meters. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/XmasEek.gif" alt="" />

You've just been facted by:

Killerzzz

I look'eed at what ye made!

is it good to scrw my mother if she wants it and likes it?

<img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Sorry to go on topic in the off topic thread, but I just wanted to say NO to this question!

! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/puppyeyes.gif" alt="" /> NO! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/down.gif" alt="" /> !

lol ok then i wont ask if she likes it...

I mean cookies!! who likes cookies?

I work 6 days a week in a restaurant ... and then customers ask me if I have been to any of the other Restaurants <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/disagree.gif" alt="" /> trying explain to a customer that the last thing I want to do on my day off, is going to another Restaurant seems like a pointless exercise ..... a little bit like this post <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/biggrin.gif" alt="" />

How to Tell if You're Dutch

Your country came into being by liberating itself from the Spanish, and has been occupied by the French (no hard feelings) and the Germans (lots of hard feelings).

You don't consider insects, dogs, cats, monkeys, or guinea pigs to be food. Raw herring is a well-liked delicacy, though.

Communists are 1) students in the sixties who wanted to change the world; 2) some old farmers in the north of your country who still vote for the minuscule communist party; 3) tough guys who did their patriotic duty against the Germans during the occupation.

An income tax rate of 60% is high, but you think that people who earn a lot of money should pay high taxes. You don't believe in a trickle-down effect.

Mustard comes in jars or glasses that can be reused as drinking glasses. Shaving cream comes in cans. Milk comes in cardboard boxes or (rarely) bottles.

You went over Dutch and European history in school, not much Russian, Chinese, or American. You couldn't name the last four wars that your country was involved in.

The nationality people most often make jokes about is the Belgians.

You don't really know what to think about your neighbors the Belgians. In general you think they are happier, less intelligent, more corrupt, and simultaneously more formal and informal than the Dutch. They speak Dutch, but in a funny way, unless they speak French. Their beer is the best. You get along well with them. A good thing about Belgians is that they are not arrogant. (They think the Dutch are arrogant and stingy, and make jokes about them).

Germany and the Germans are overbearing neighbors. You get along well with them, but Germans are known to be arrogant, which you are always alert to point out them. The war is not forgotten, and most people have elderly family members who were killed, deported or otherwise mistreated by the Nazis. Germany never returned the bicycles it stole, either. Even the most politically correct can make jokes or disparaging remarks about Germans and get away with it. Your greatest dream is beating Germans in the World Cup finals.

France is a country that doesn't understand your soft drugs policy. This is arrogant. It is a great place for summer vacation, and you like their cheese and wine.

The USA provides most of your entertainment, as well as technical innovation. If a non-American explains to you that something is better in the US than in the Netherlands, you will explain that American ideas will not work in the Dutch context. If an American tells you things are better in the US, you just think that he's arrogant. Apart from always telling you that things are better in the US, Americans are nice people. Your country has more money invested in the US than any other country in the world.

You don't think much about the UK. They produce pop music and football hooligans. Our Royal House shows how things should be done. Their Royal House shows how things shouldn't be done.

Your country used to have colonies but you rarely think about this.

You think development aid is a Good Thing. Sending money for arms isn't. You think human rights should be most important in foreign aid decisions.

Having a Royal House and a Queen is a Good Thing. Why, you're not sure.

Strangely enough Cleglaw isn't that far off the truth ...

a few more lines

The Dutch think they are very broad-minded in regards to life, but then again if the neighbours have a bigger TV than you ... you must get a bigger 1 than they have and thus create a viable economy, which is strongly supported by taxes charged on "Soft Drugs" !

Amsterdam is a Beautiful city for Tourists, aside from that it is dirty, garbage bags float happily in the canals alongside those famous Dutch bicycles that also have been ditched by the tidy Dutch Burgher !
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