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Cell Phone On Fire, It's Serious

We don't mean to alarm you, but your cell phone may want to kill you.

How else to explain the story of a Vallejo, Calif., man who suffered second- and third-degree burns over most of his body after the phone in his pocket mysteriously caught fire?

Investigators said that, judging from burn patterns, the cell phone in his right front pants pocket was the only possible source of the fire that awakened 59-year-old Luis Picaso on Saturday.

"There were no matches," said Vallejo Fire Department investigator Bill Tweedy. "There were no lighters. He wasn't smoking. The only source was the phone that was in his pocket. I know he didn't spontaneously combust."

"I don't believe it's a problem with any particular cell phone maker," said Tweedy. "It's a piece of electrical equipment. All electrical equipment can have a malfunction. This is a freak accident. ... It could be any brand of phone that could do that."

Picaso's clothing and furniture choices contributed to the tragedy. He was wearing polyester double-knit slacks and a nylon soccer jersey and reclining in a plastic lawn chair, all exquisitely combustible.
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The question is not, Can they reason? nor, Can they talk? but, Can they suffer?
~Jeremy Bentham