"Stooooopppp!" I yelled atop this galloping mound of pork. I fished a piece of rope out of my bag and tied a makeshift harness. A branch barely missed my head. "Ok, now to get this thing in its mouth" A perfect lob and I had some reign on the beast. "Right!" I yelled yanking on the ropes as hard as possible, "whoa, you bugger!".
We eventually came to a halt. The beast was calmer now, it simply stood there, grunting and snuffling in the undergrowth. "Almost cute," I thought to myself. "Aw hell, I forgot Viper!"
I hopped back upon my mount like Long John Silver, whoever he was. "Heeyah!" I yelled, no movement. "Hmmm, this is how its going to be is it?" I bent down and whispered in its ear. "Apple sauce!" I said, licking my lips. A look of panic spread across its face, "Oink?" It said, and proceeded at the speed of a rather fat, hairy bullet. "Steering this thing is going to be fun...." I mused...


" Road rage, air rage. Why should I be forced to divide my rage into seperate categories? To me, it's just one big, all-around, everyday rage. I don't have time for distinctions. I'm too busy screaming at people. " -George Carlin