Larian Studios

...

Mr. Hutchinson: I thought Boff was the name of a locale... you know the name of a district. That P looks like a B, you see.
Basil Fawlty: No it doesn't.
Mr. Hutchinson: Yes it does, there's a little loop on the bottom of it.
Basil Fawlty: [taking the diagram and showing it to Walt] Excuse me - would you say that was a 'P' or a 'B'?
Mr. Walt: Er...
Basil Fawlty: There, does it say Boff or does it say Poff?
Mr. Walt: Er...
Basil Fawlty: There, There! It's a P isn't it.
Mr. Walt: [unwillingly] I suppose so.
Basil Fawlty: P. Off.
Mr. Walt: I beg your pardon?
Basil Fawlty: P off! not B. off. Whoever heard of a Bost office?
...

Basil Fawlty: Ah, Manuel? There is too much butter on those trays.
Manuel: Que?
Basil Fawlty: [speaking slowly] There is too much butter on those trays.
Manuel: Ah, no senor. No "on those trays"...
[counting the trays]
Manuel: "uno, dos, tres".
...

Sybil Fawlty: And try and find time to put that moose's head on the wall.
Basil Fawlty: Yes.
Sybil Fawlty: It's been sitting there for two weeks Basil. I don't know why you bought it.
Basil Fawlty: It will give the lobby a certain ambiance, it has a touch of style about it.
Sybil Fawlty: It has a touch of mange about it.
Basil Fawlty: That is not so.
Sybil Fawlty: It's got things living in it Basil, it's nasty.
Basil Fawlty: It is not nasty, it's superb.
Sybil Fawlty: I am not going to argue with you, just get it up out of the way I don't want to snag any more cardis on it.
...


[Basil answers the phone which interrupts him hanging a moose head decoration]
Basil Fawlty: [Answers the phone call from his wife] Yes. Fawlty Towers, hello?
[pause]
Basil Fawlty: I was just doing it, you stupid woman. I just put it down, to come here and be reminded by you to do what I'm already doin'. What is the point in reminding me to do what I'm already doing? What is the bloody point? I'm doing it aren't I?
[pause]
Basil Fawlty: Yes, yes, I picked it up... Yes... No, no, I haven't had a chance yet... Yes, I will... Yes... No, I haven't yet, but I will... Yes, yes, yes, I know it is... Yes, I'll try and get it cleared up... Anything else? I mean, would you like the hotel moved a bit to the left?
...

Sybil Fawlty: Don't shout at me, I've had a difficult morning.
Basil Fawlty: Oh dear, what happened? Did you get entangled in the eiderdown again? Not enough cream in your eclair? Hmm? Or did you have to talk to all your friends for so long that you didn't have time to perm your ears?
...

Sybil Fawlty: [to Mr. O'Reilly, exasperated] I've seen more intelligent creatures than you swimming at the bottom of ponds! I've seen better organised creatures than you running 'round farm yards with their heads cut off!
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Basil Fawlty: Next contestant, Mrs. Sybil Fawlty from Torquay. Specialist subject - the bleeding obvious.
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Sybil Fawlty: [to a customer who has just given Basil a tip for a horse race] Basil doesn't bet on the horses anymore,
[to Basil]
Sybil Fawlty: do you?
Basil Fawlty: No, that particular avenue of pleasure has been closed off.
Sybil Fawlty: And we don't want it opened up again, do we?
Basil Fawlty: No, you don't dear.
...

Polly: [Basil is raving at Polly about the remodeling fiasco] Well, it isn't my fault! He was supposed to wake me!
Basil Fawlty: Who was supposed to wake you?
Polly: [pause] It *is* my fault.
Basil Fawlty: [shouts] Manuel! I knew it!
...

Basil Fawlty: Manuel... my wife informs me that you're... depressed. Let me tell you something. Depression is a very bad thing. It's like a virus. If you don't stamp on it, it spreads throughout the mind, and then one day you wake up in the morning and you... you can't face life any more!
Sybil Fawlty: And then you open a hotel.