This game is a wanker!

The first clue is when you're examining the inside of a barrel/chest/whatever and you press B to go back and the skill you have in your B slot (hot skill) gets used. How difficult can it be to have a button press delay of 0.2 of a second so this doesn't occur?

The next clue comes along when you're part the way through the game feeling quite tough at this point, nothing is really posing much of a challenge then an archer turns around and nails you with 240+ damage. If you're a mage like them then that's curtains I'm afraid.

Another clue might be the story. The story feels as though it's written by a couple of high-school emo chicks just after seeing Twilight. You're a Slayer, oh wait, but you're a Knight... even though you don't get that choice... so what the fuck am I? Why do I 'have' to go and do their gay things they're asking? Give me an open world and the fucking 'option' to play along with your teen angst story line.

I'll bullet point the rest for efficiency (which this game utterly lacks):

* Projectile skills that have no projectiles (Magic Blast)
* Summonable creatures that hang you out to dry ("Fuckin heals Ghost!")
* The point of the story where EVERYTHING is given to you. Here, now you own this tower, all these servants, and you can teleport here, and upgrade it, and have a creature, and upgrade that, and make enchanted weapons and have runners and by the way you can turn into a fucking Dragon.... Too much at once! Bleed rewards into my experience and make me worthy of them.
* The music made my four month old baby cry you assholes!
* Bugger all character customization choices. Let's be honest, they all look the same in the end, why give me the choice?
* Projectiles that you can't dodge. Why can I time my jumps and rolls quite nicely to get away from spells but not arrows? Arrows are just fucking lightning speed compared to the lightning attacks that come at arrow speed... wtf?
* The female voice whenever it says "Feel my wrath" and pronounces 'wrath' as 'Roth'.
* No lesbian sex scenes
* Fucking swinging a big fucking sword as a big fucking crate 6 times and missing over and over again because the fucking physics engine (lol if you call it physics) decided that you can't hit something when it's on an angle and moving.
* Watch a barrel/vase etc. go sliding down a very gradual slope at unrealistic speeds because of the shit physics engine
* Lousy AI. Ping an enemy with a spell from downtown, he comes a running... his buddies sit back and let him do it on his own. That just ain't bros being bros.
* Pots, pans, cups and other meaningless junk to pick up... why? What's the point. Let me just abuse that 'Take All' button on everything.
* The shite animation when swinging an axe with the female avatar when the axe goes behind her and waits it flickers twice because some asshole animator misplaced it's locater for two frames.
* No fall damage ever. Realistic as a shoe made from bubbles, don't you dare try to put real physics in there and have no fall damage.
* Inability to set the quest marker/objective marker for anything other than the main quest. Sorry but some of the clues for some of those quests are rather cryptic and I wouldn't mind being able to experience the lavish world you've created and lovely quests without the desire to take an angle grinder to my eyes.
* On that note, what is the difference between 'Objective Marker' and 'Quest Marker'. For that matter why does 'Important NPC' have it's own one. The only time it shows up is when it could easily be one of the other two things.
* No multiplayer... actually this is a good thing. I think if I got my friend to come over and play this he would want to hurt me... so thank you for saving me a beating.
* Terrible bad guys. Sassan and Damian both do it where they go 'Right, you're finished' and then they piss off and leave you with a couple of easily dispatchable enemies. What the fuck is the point in that? Just fight me you dicks. If Damian rocked up right near the start and cut my throat instead of kicked me in the head then I would respect the man a lot more.
* Confusing motives. Laiken, Maxos, that other guy that becomes like a dragon and stuff, damian... what are they all after? What the fuck is the point of Damian being evil? Make his purpose clear.
* The glowing eyes... wanna be more clice'?
* That 1 second delay between selecting a skill to view and the details actually opening up is fuck head annoying
* The fact that I have to open the details in order to add a point is annoying
* The fact that I didn't get a fucking choice for who worked in the battle tower while I was on Sentinel Island. I wanted the non-drunk weapon guy, but he lost the challenge.

Ok, I've probably said too much now. But my anger is out... so that makes life a little easier to bear.

-Papanurf
~FFXIV FTW~