You DON'T have cheerleaders?!?!!?!??!?!?!??
No. If we're lucky (for specific values of "lucky") we have a fat man dressed as a magpie or a farm animal, hence my moaning. Not that I actually attend sporting events, so a certain amount (probably all!) of my moaning may be discounted! But, no, we don't have cheerleaders. About the closest we get to that sort of thing are the complementary chavs stealing the wheels off your car while you're ordering a gristleburger and coke-substitute.
