It's another sunny day in the valley, because it never rains! Ha! Dr Needelman, can you tell us why that is, exactly? No, of course you can't. This IS WDKS Eyewitness News. I am your host and Champion of Companions, Richard of Aleroth, broadcasting LIVE from atop the Citadel Tower. Along with my co-host, and rather speechless, Dr Needelman. Let us join now, our Concupiscent Corespondent in the Orabas Fjords. Elsa, my sweet, are you there?
A Concu...OH, nevermind...Anyway, how is the great Dr Needelman?
Well, my dear...He just sits there, on the floor, rocking in his invisible chair. He seems to remain in this state of shock, of sorts. Mourning the loss of his beloved helm, it would seem. Thus being reduced to nothing shy of a tomato.
Awww...The poor man. He was always quite the gentleman, he was.
Yes, well I must say, the rocking motion makes for a very effective boot buffer. I can actually see my handsome self in them.
RICHARD! That's a horrible thing to say.
Quite right, my dear...You're quite right. I should have described myself a little more dramatically.
I was referring to the kind Dr...Oh forget it, it's no use anyway...On a brighter note! I am here, in the Fjords, at the location of "Camp Eagle's Nest". I have here with me, two gentleman who witnessed the carnage, chaos and destruction of the demonically bound Sonoura. Now gentlemen, where did this display of satanic spawns take place?
ABRAM: It all took place on the lower level. She forced her way in, with those creatures of hers, and completely disrupted the little relm of debauchery and bloodshed, we had set here!
BEIRD: Yes, everything was going accordingly. To the plans of Lord John and Lady Kara, that is.
She beat Lord John and Lady Kara?
ABRAM: That frail thing couldn't BEAT her freedom from a sealed paper sack. It was that hord of minions that took or Lord and Lady.
And where were you two, while all this was happening?
BEIRD: We were on the stairs. Locked behind the barrier, erected by Lord John, to contain her and her small army.
I see...and after the defeat of Lord John and Lady Kara, how is it that you were able to survive?
ABRAM: We were no match for a Dragon Knight, so we came to an arrangement.
Wait a minute! Did you say Dragon Knight? I thought we were talking about the Naked Nun.
ABRAM: Nun, Sorceress, Dragon...yes, one in the same.
Amazing! Well, that does help explain a lot of the strange goings on. So, tell us more about this little arrangement. Was there any sort of possession taken place?
BEIRD: It was more of a mutual agreement. Our lives in exchange for the option of trade, you see.
ABRAM: More of an unwilling reluctancy, if you ask me.
Interesting, indeed. So, what sort of trade?
ABRAM: Well, obviously not having much use of grand weapons or armor. She does most of her trading with the dim-witted one.
BEIRD: DIM-WITTED?
ABRAM: INDEED! It would appear, this weak-minded imbecile, has fallen to this possession you speak of. Having with her the Hammer Of Razakel, a thing to my interest, and she trades it to her little pet.
But, that hammer was believed to be held by the powerful necromancer Barnabus. How did she gain this item?
BIERD: No doubt, the same way she way she took our Lord and Lady.
ABRAM: Yes, and trading it to the little Boy Toy, from stupid potions and trinkets! Getting her attention by flashing those rings and charms, only to fall under a CHARM himself!
BIERD: That Dragon does not control ME!
ABRAM: YOU IDIOT! SHE'S NOT HERE RIGHT NOW! IS SHE?!!
Now,Now, Boys. Let's stay on track here. Can either of you describe her?
BIERD: She was about your build and a little less dressed. Hmmm...
And...This is how it starts...
ABRAM: Yes,Yes, and she had red hair, long red hair.
BIERD: Her hair was BLOND.
ABRAM: It was RED!
BIERD: Or maybe it was brown...
ABRAM: You can't remember because you were DRUNK with LUST.
BIERD: No, It was most certainly, black.
ABRAM: IT WAS RED!
BIERD: You ALWAYS see red!
ABRAM: Yes, and the next RED I see, will be from your BLEEDING CORPSE, if you DON"T SHUT IT!!
Well, I think I've exhausted the information here...
BIERD: No need to run, cherry. We would love to HAVE you for dinner. HeHeHe...
ABRAM: Oh, quite so. After all, we seem to be short a guest, after the release of that cute Champion. HaHaHa...
Yes, well as frightening as that sounds, I'm AFRAID I must pass. Richard, back to you, as I make, an apparently, narrow escape!
There, there dearest. Don't start the festivities without Ole Richard. You know how much I enjoy eating on the fly.
Well, when and IF you're able to fly over here, I shall be long departed.
Fair enough, my little plumb pie. Keep it tunned to WDKS for Revillon's latest.
