Ahh, Another day in the ever so changing world of Revillon! This is WDKS, and I'm your host that boast the most, Richard of Aleroth. Joined by my silent partner, Dr Needleman. Before we get to the news, of the day, I have a brief word from one of our sponsors. Mullet's Meat Market, where you are sure to find the best selection of fresh flesh on the docks. Because at Mullet's, you can't bet the price and you wont beat the meat. Elsa, lay it on me baby. Oh, how I DO love my job...
Richard, I believe that's fresh FISH.
I just read'em as I see'em dearest. It's a you say to-MAY-to, I say to-MAH-to sort of thing.
But that's completely different, it is. Oh...why do I EVEN bother? I am now, just arriving at High Hall, where the Dragon Knight/Summoner, aka 'The Naked Nun' was reportedly heading. In search...Wait! What's this? OH! BY THE DEVINE! The entire village has gone BONKERS! Everyone is dancing about, in nothing more than a loincloth.
I'll be RIGHT there!
I'm serious, Richard! It appears to be in total chaos. Let's see if we can find out what's going on.
QUINTUS: WHOO-HOO! Hay there cutie! Come to join in the fun?
What happened here?! What are you people doing?!
QUINTUS: Wye, were just having a PARTY! HAHAHA...Me and the boys are just letting off a little steam, to celebrate the victory over those damn Twooolls...mmmm...
Do you think, this is the sort of conduct expected of the military? And, WHAT are your men DOING?
QUINTUS: Yes...well, we've always been a close group. ISN'T THAT RIGHT BOYS? WHOOOO!
You can't possibly...Hey! Stop that!
GWYN: Bet ye never been pinched by a goblin before, have ye, human?
A goblin? But...you're...
GOBIE: Oh, don't mind him, sweetness. He was that way, BEFORE the Drudanae...Hey! Where IS Nicolas anyway?
BEATRICE: I think he went to see about getting some of that chicken from Mundus. Everybody's starting to get a little hungry.
Aren't you just a little bit nervous running around like that? Being the only female in the village?
BEATRICE: I wasn't always. The other lady, and her hubby, were ran off by the Dragon Knight. Besides, were all like family here.
The Dragon Knight? You mean Sonoura?
BEATRICE: Yes, she's quite lovely. Don't you think? She sent them away, right before she slew the demon in the well, and restored the water to our little home.
Why would an evil sorceress aid a troubled village?
BEATRICE: We presented her with four rare gems for the deed.
Ah, I knew there was a catch.
BEATRICE: She then showed us the way! BE FREE AND RELEASE!
GOBIE: THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!! WHOOO-WEEE!!
These poor people are obviously under some sort of spell...
GWYN: Hey! Watch this! I can put me WHOLE foot in me mouth!
...leaving them in a drunken and disorderly state. The aftermath, left in the wake of the mind-controlling Sonoura, no doubt. Richard, this grows even more strange by the minute. Back to you, at the tower.
Why must YOU have all the fun? I think you should babysit Sir Talks-A-Lot, and let me do the reporting. Oh, woe is me...That's it for now folks. This is your very depressed Champion...signing off.
